old dogs and new tricks

I hosted the last official bash at Casa de Carlin before next weekend's move, a birthday party for my friend Greg. A rousing good time was had by all, and just to prove you're never to old to learn, here are some lessons from last night:

1. White wine sangria is a nice way to melt away the heat and the humidity.
2. However, drink the sangria after you do any BBQing, not before. Things like timing how long to cook or how hot the grill is get a bit blurry after the first fishbowl of sangria.
3. It is easy to mistake a pitcher full of raw margarita ingredients (1 bottle tequila, 1 cup triple Sec, 1/2 cup lime juice) for sangria or lemonade.
4. There is an age where it gets dumb to kill out a whole bottle of tequila by yourself. We have pinned that age down to "32". There's a half glass of it on the balcony and even the bugs are staying away. How Tara Reid keeps up this lifestyle is beyond me.
   
5. You're never old when you have so many friends to keep you young.
6. The only time a soldier has his gun set to full automatic is when they sweep and clear a room (yes, that was an odd topic of conversation).
7. If it's only 7:30 pm and your guests start trying to light things on fire, such as an apple slice soaked in ouzo, that's probably a sign to slow down.
8. Buy fireproof curtains.
9. When drinking in 35+ degrees of heat, the 1:1 ration needs to be in effect: 1 serving of booze, 1 glass of water. Also, a kiddie pool is a great place to park yourself.
   
10. When it's 7 in the morning and your guests don't have their glasses on, yes, I suppose you could mistake a packet of alka-seltzer left on a bathroom counter for a condom packet. "Wow, Jay sure is considerate of his guests. "

Thanks everyone who contributed to a very good time last night. I now plan to lay on the couch in fron t of a fan, drinking iced coffee and watch movies that won't cause me to think too much, like Mr. & Mrs. Smith and The Island. Because tomorrow I start the packing.

In the meantime, perhaps we should have watched this Daily Show classic clip before the party this weekend. Steve Colbert and Steve Carell show the dangers of irresponsible drinking. And yes, Carell admits it is all true.