everyone should know a bumblebee girl

Happy Birthday to my longtime friend Stephanie! You've always shown your genuine appreciation for everything I've ever given you: friendship, laughs, mixtapes, and an introduction to the man who became your husband. I keep telling you, he feeds you, keep him around. You've always given alot in return unasked: friendship, laughs, perspective, time.

Today I give you a favourite song and best wishes on your birthday.

Blind Melon - "No Rain"

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OK Go to Rock the Treadmills at VMAs

I tend to watch the MTV Video Music Awards the same way I watch the Emmys: tape/PVR it and scan for highlights. One highlight in the making was just announced as OK Go will be rocking the treadmills with a live performance on Thursday's show. They've been having a good month: their video for Here It Goes Again has become a phenomena: it's been viewed time over 4 million(!) times on YouTube, and has recieved mainstream coverage in the media and appearances on The Colbert Report and Letterman. Congratulations guys!

One of my favourite highlights of past MTV Video Awards is this performance by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs of the song "Maps" back in 2004.

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Pepperpot: August 18th, the most 18thiest day ever.

Haley Joel Osment, 18, faces up to six months in jail if convicted on the charges that arose after a car crash in suburban Los Angeles on July 20.

Keeping in the long time Hollywood tradition of former child stars falling from grace, which I've dubbed Pulling a Corey, actor Haley Joel Osment (The Sixth Sense, Forest Gump) is facing charges of drunk driving and possession of pot as a result of a car accident last month. This must be what happens when Mel Gibson is your scout troop leader.

Get these mother#$&%ing critics off my mother#$&%ing plane!

This is the weekend when Snakes on a Plane finally debuts. While we have to wait and see what the results of all the months of internet hype has any affect on box office numbers, critics will have to wait even longer to see the movie. The studio denied critics the opportunity to screen the movie, which means there are no reciews available opening day. Seems like a bonehead move, as I think most critics would have gone with the spirit of the movie and looked at is as a "good" bad movie, and at heart most movie critics are film geeks, like the ones who have been hyping the movie for months.

Wolverine vs. Superman

X-Men 3 was a below-par sequel that did big box office. Superman Returns wasn't the outright blockbuster Warner Brothers Studio hoped for. The Hollywood Reporter has an in-depth analysis of the fates of both films and how they affect the future developments for their respective studios. Bryan Singer, who directed the first two X-Men films (the good ones) and did Superman Returns said he is perfectly willing to do another X-Men film to "fix" the franchise.

BTW The sequel to Hellboy, one of my favourite comic book movies of the past few years, is still up in the air. The first one did decent business but the sequel hasn't been greenlit said the director of the first film Guillermo del Toro, despite a script being written.

And your fun timewaster of the day: The Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" Generator.

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Oscar the Grouch must work in Northwest's HR

Northwest Airlines must have a big set of balls on them. As part of preparing an expected wave of layoffs, the airline distributed a booklet on how workers could prepare for hard financial times, including the suggestion that workers can take "a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods." It also says they should not be "shy about pulling something you like out of the trash." If I worked for Northwest I'd arrange for about 100 dumpsters to be dropped on the lawn of whoever came up with this shining example of corporate sensitivity. Nice to know the airlines are prepared to their workers like their customers: like crap.

Also among the tips: No. 48: Move to a less expensive place to live; and No. 59: Never grocery shop hungry.

Northwest Airlines, which has slashed wages and jobs and is looking to lay off more workers as it exits bankruptcy, has apologized for distributing a booklet of money-savings tips for workers that includes advice that they go dumpster-diving.

The fifth-largest U.S. carrier put the tips in a booklet handed out to about 50 workers and posted for a time on its employee Web site. The booklet was part of a 150-page packet to ground workers, such as baggage handlers, whose jobs will likely be cut after their union agreed to allow the airline to outsource some of their work.

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The word "Stars" is thrown about rather loosely

The latest installment of ABC's Dancing With The Stars is back in September, and take a look at the cheese filled list of "celebrities". It's 1992 all over again:

TUCKER CARLSON – MSNBC news anchor -- and often controversial -- conservative political TV pundit and columnist. Wonder if Jon Stewart may cover this on The Daily Show.
MONIQUE COLEMAN – Actress and teen idol from Disney Channel’s smash hit “High School Musical.”
SARA EVANS – Country Music Award-winning and top-selling singing sensation. Who?
WILLA FORD – Singing sensation and self-professed “bad girl of pop.” The Lee Aaron of her time.
VIVICA A. FOX – Stunning film and television actress/producer who has starred in several major blockbusters including “Kill Bill” and “Independence Day.” What happenned to her career???
HARRY HAMLIN – Film and TV star of the hit, award-winning drama series “L.A. Law” and husband of “Dancing with the Stars” alumna Lisa Rinna. 'cause when you can't get Corbin Bernsen, gotta get Harry. Seriously, what else was he doing?
JOE (not Joey?) LAWRENCE – Actor and former teen heartthrob. Whoa.
MARIO LOPEZ – Actor form Saved By The Bell. Suppose Jessie Spano could drop by and show him some moves? I just can't picture Slater throwing the jazzhands.
SHANNA MOAKLER – National beauty queen, actress, model and reality television star.
EMMITT SMITH – An NFL legend and three-time Super Bowl champion who holds the world’s all-time leading rushing record and is considered one of the greatest football players to ever play the game.
JERRY SPRINGER – Notorious TV talk show host. Amongst all the cheese, this one surprises me.

So there you go, try to pick out which parts of your brain watching this show will kill and giver.

source:KnoxNews | Tele-buddy's Tinseltown Tales

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A is for Airplane, Arrests, and AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

The latest threat to airline travel are liquid explosives. The Brits have foiled a major plot to detonate several US bound flights during the height of tourist season as folks fly back and forth as they end vacations and prepare to start school or work. Major restricitions are in place for what you can and can't take on board. Speculation is that we could even see the end of carry-on luggage, a small price to pay for safety. Now would not be a good time to invest in the portable toiletries industry. Pretty much all I'd consider lately is bringing a book onboard and my documents, that's about it. I don't know if they'll continue allowing electronics like laptops, MP3 players or cell phones on board. The latest on what is allowed on board can be found on the Toronto Star site: Canadian travellers also face new restrictions. Stupid comment of the day was a woman who had to do without bringing a makeup bag on the plane: "I won't even have lipstick to reapply...going without my make-up bag is scary". Dumbass. Not being allowed to bring make-up is an inconvenience. An 8 hour flight with no fresh deodorant is an inconvenience. Potentially exploding midflight is scary.

The disturbing bit was how haphazard the "don't permit any liquids on board" directive was handled on site, as this post on Boing Boing wonders if the liquid could be explosive, why are you dumping it in a crowd?

I think we only have one solution left to ensure safe air travel: Naked Airlines.

Flyers will disrobe preflight and go on board totally nude. Maybe the lights could be out, glowsticks and carpet lights only. First class would have to be restircted to boob jobs, pec implants and tummy tucks. Maybe not totally nude, we could have everyone fly in those disposable hospital gowns.

For the latest news, check out:

BBC World News
http://www.slate.com/id/2147492/nav/tap1/
The Explainer on Slate.com asks Can You Drink Explosives? like those Daffy Duck cartoons where he drinks Nitro Glycerine.

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Chad Vader Strikes Back

The continuing adventures of Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager, Episode 2.

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while I was out

While dealing with the triple decker combo of new job, moving and a jittery internet connection, some of you have passed the time wandering through my blogroll, just to the right hand side of this post. This is some of what folks have been up to:

First off, congrats to Broken Engine on the birth of his son, Maxwell Knight. All the best, and the baby has a pretty cool name: perfect for a spy or superhero secret identity. You know, practical stuff.

It's a regular meeting of the Blogeratti (Blog-ioso?) withLogan's Dave visiting Toronto, hosted by Naked KnitGirl and Accordian Guy.

Jen at No Such Nonsense went to see Poison this week, for a night that was part nostalgic rocking out whislt throwing the horns, and part gawking at the crowd. I thought I heard Cinderella opened. I suppose Ratt wasn't available.

Life never seems to slow down for the Waghorns at Our Little Institution, who have the culture shock of moving from Ottawa to Virginia. Some it's not culture shock, some of it is good old fashioned "Are you frigging kidding me?" shock.

Whoo hoo Jacquie's back to blogging at artifacts! Jacquie's always made an effort to read and comment, so make sure you pop in and take a look around her place. Help yourself to the guest soaps too.

I hope to be back up to speed starting right about now, so keep checking back.

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My City Smells Like Beer and Feta...

Another crammed weekend here in Toronto, with about a zillion things happening. The big draws:

Beer Festival: "Toronto’s Festival of Beer @ Fort York: Friday 2pm - 10pm, Saturday 12pm - 8pm (SOLD OUT) and Sunday 12pm - 8pm

2006 Toronto IDBF Dragon Boat Club Crew World Championships this weekend down by the Western Beaches on the Lakeshore

Further out in the waters off of the Toronto Islands is Wakestock 2006: World's Largest Wakeboarding Event, a weekend of wakeboarding and concerts.

It's also time for the 13th Annual Taste of the Danforth, where you can sample the Greek culture of the hospitable Danforth Avenue neighbourhood.

It's been years since I've been to Taste of the Danforth: I just found the crowds getting bigger and more aggravating with each passing summer. With the Beer Festival sold out, I'll find some way to past the time.

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Y Kant George Read?

Looks like things are hopping in my old neighbourhood with this funny billboard, turned even funnier through some creative effort.

Torontoist: A Fauxreel Billboard Alteration - West vs. Bush

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the long way home

What a long strange trip Friday night turned out to be: I started on Queen Street in Toronto and almost had to walk back to Richmond Hill from Newmarket. I went 60km and almost had to walk back 20km.

It started with the cancellation of my annual cottage weekend. Seeking something to do, some friends rallied at the Drake Hotel for happy hour after work, where pints of beer and mini martinis are under $5. Mini is a misnomer as they still pack a wallop after a few. A pitcher or two of mojitos turned Happy Hour into Pretty Damned Jovial Few Hours. As I did all this socializing I kept in mind that I had to catch a 1 o'clock bus from the top of the subway line. About 10 ish, I had the bright idea to keep the party going, and as I knew it was karoke night at The Gladstone Hotel down the street, I volunteered to be the Karoke Bitch. Or Karoke Slave, whichever you prefer.

Pretty much the offer that went on the table was that if my friends gave me an additional shot of liquid courage, I'd sing whichever song they picked for me. Sort of hard to back out of that now isn't it? There was much plotting and picking of songs: "That Don't Impress Me Much" was a contender, "Ooops I Did It Again" was almost picked, but the best pick the ladies came up with:

"Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna

It was bad. It was karoke bad. "Papa Don't Preach" is one of those songs where, even sober, I pretty much only know the chorus, and I don't recall how the tune goes. But I made it through the song, note for flat note.

After a victory lap, I caught the subway and made the last bus that, in my head, would take me to the end of the line in Richmond Hill and I'd walk home 15 minutes, none the worse for wear.

Except I dozed off and it turns out the last bus of the night, which I was riding, continues past Richmond Hill and continues to travel up Yonge Street to Newmarket.

I woke up at Upper Canada Mall at 3am, no more buses. I had overshot Richmond Hill by about 20km. I dialed a cab to come get me, paid the $40 to get home, and learned the lesson that if it's late, take the offer to crash on a friend's couch or floor.

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Here goes OK Go again

How timely - no sooner do I put up the video for A Million Ways by the band OK Go, then Nicole sends me the link to the NEW video from this band. There are dozens of videos on YouTube of fans recreating the A Million Ways dance in basements and at weddings. I can almost hear the crack of tibias and ankles as they try to recreate this one. Brilliant fun video from the band OK Go: I'm guaranteed to check out their live show based on their video work alone (and the song is pretty good too, good summer pop). Iheard they stole the show opening for the Kaiser Chiefs with their step for step choreography of the Daft Punk song Around the World. Just try not to smile.

OK Go - news: "OK Go's New Video Is Going To Freak You Out
We promise. But in return, we need you to freak OK Go out. The video, for "Here It Goes Again," is in the running for VH1's Top 20 Countdown. We need you to go and vote for it. All you have to do is drag "Here It Goes Again" into the first spot. If you're feeling generous, drag Regina Spektor after it and whatever else looks good. Then click submit. You can't watch the videos unless you have a PC. But you can vote for them over and over again, no matter what.

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Jen's got NFL and Mel's not well

While I get back up to speed blogwise, I point you in the general direction of my friend Jen who is managing a healthy output at No Such Nonsense. She's already started her countdown to the start of the NFL (she's got the football skills to pay the bills, but alas, not enough to love The Bills) and some thoughts on Mel Gibson's and Lindsay Lohan's bouts of bad behaviour.

By the way, I read a quote from a publicist that said basically Mel has royally screwed himself and his career with his behaviour during a DUI arrest in Malibu last week. The publicist represents Michael Jackson and Charlton Heston: that's how screwed Mel is, when the guy who has to put a positive spin on Michael freaking Jackson's antics is saying "wow I can't believe he did that".

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HEATH LEDGER IS BATMAN'S JOKER?

Looks like a confirmation is hours away, but after months of rumour involving everyone from Johnny Depp to Jude Law, it appears the role of the Joker in the next Batman film may go to Oscar nominated actor Heath Ledger (A Knight's Tale, Brokeback Mountain). The Joker is generally ackownledged as the primary arch-villain in Batman canon.

Looks like most of the principles, including Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman and Michael Caine will be back to join Christian Bale and director Chris Nolan. No idea if Katie Holmes will return (who'd miss her though) and I doubt it, but I'd like to see a return of Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow, who was a great secondary villain in the first picture.

Heath has a helluva task in front of him as Jack Nicholson's Joker stole the show in the 1989 Batman movie. I'd guess we're more likely to see a creepy maniacal Joker rather than the over the top theatrical version. I've no idea which particular Joker comic book story could serve the basis for the character.

HEATH LEDGER IS BATMAN'S JOKER FOR THE DARK KNIGHT - NEWSARAMA

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