Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! That about sums it up.

so which team does Rinaldo play for?

I'm going into the holidays, and its guaranteed at one of the many holiday parties that someone will bring up the subject of football. Thanks to Jenster, I now have all the info I need to take part in meaningful pigskin themed discussion. Jenster breaks down the teams on their way to the playoffs. Now I can sound like I know what I am talking about. And after a couple of seasons spent watching my roommate's beloved Packers get killed, he may feel bittersweet about this last call from Jen:

And on a final note, how bad does the NFC suck? Seriously. Green Bay might make the playoffs. That's how bad the NFC sucks.

Step Two: Put Your Junk In The Box

Justin Timberlake seems to be fashioning himself as an all-around entertainer. I'll admit his last album was catchy pop-dance music (it does what it's supposed to do: get in your brain and gets people dancing). But I was surprised how much I enjoyed his appearance on Saturday Night Live this past weekend. It's his 3rd go round and he's got a pretty good knack for comedy. They even got Jimmy Fallon to drop in an reprise The Andy Gibb show so that Timberlake could trot out his impersonation of Barry Gibb (or do I have that backwards and mixed up my Gibbs). Here's the highlight, a video with Andy Samberg (best know for "Lazy Sunday") that I can't stop laughing at, for those of you not sure what to give this holiday season:



I think it's funnier the censored way, when I thought they were bleeping Cox, but it's actually D*@k. I think the alliteration of Cox is funnier. Which also reminds me of an old Scrubs scene with Elliott (Sarah Chalke) complaning about Dr. Cox (John McGinley):

I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.

Good Grief, it's a Merry Christmas from Scrubs

Find some time for a Christmas treat: My Charlie Brown Christmas - Performed by the Cast of Scrubs:

Making a list, checking it twice. I said "twice" dammit!

flippingcrappingsonuvanelfMonday

In short order my Monday looks like this:

• gather materials for meeting with management on the status of my training program. I'm looking to them for suggestions, ideas and improvements to the system. But first I need to find a printer to print this stuff on, as the printer I use was reassigned with another department on another floor.
• one of the kittens I am petsitting got out this morning. They are allowed outdoors, but I am working late and won't be home until late to let her back in. It's mild out, so I am not worried about the weather, but I will have to duck out at lunch or dinner and go to the house to make sure she is inside.
• trying to fix a family misunderstanding (which isn't directly involved with me but will affect me anyway) before Christmas gets here. I don't understand why I have to be the adult amongst 50 and 60 years olds, but there I go sucking it up and handling this bullshit. And it is bullshit.
• unrelated to that debacle, I am planning a nice suprise for my Mom for her visit this Christmas which, with some assistance from my friends R., is something she will genuinely enjoy.
• and more pleasantly, I'm trying to put together a pleasant holiday gathering for my friends.
  
  All told, I am juggling much today, but I found the time to let you know I am alive and sort of well. I'll find fun stuff and gift ideas for you all in the next few days.

take me out

Silly work dilema

The boss is taking us out to dinner tonight at a nice pub. I and several coworkers, are wearing jeans and dress shirts, as it is casual Friday. However, I just got the heads up that "jeans at a work function" is a pet peeve of the boss. I figured I'd be fine with my nice dress jacket and jeans, as it is a pub, but I might be wrong.

Do I:

1. run out to the GAP and grab some khakis on my break, inadvertanly screwing over other co-workers?


2. stop at the house, change, and drive to the event in Pickering, inadvertantly screwing over the other co-workers?


3. show up in my nice jeans, shirt and blazer and just ride it out ?
   

Jason, who can't believe he actually might be underdressed for once in his life

Update: Alright, I picked the "don't screw over my co-workers" route. Fun and a new running joke was had by all.

Ho Ho Ho-ly Crap

Sorry I've been neglecting you all for so long. Work and seasonal social plans have been taking up most of the time. But to make up for it and get you in the holiday mood, here's a little blast from the past, Christmas style. I swear I remember seeing this as a child, and until the internet could provide proof, most didn't believe me. Nor the fact that it featured both Boba Fett and Bea Arthur.

I give you the opening to The Star Wars Holiday Special. Oh George Lucas, what were you thinking?

Update: Master Lucas, I apologize. I re-read the Wikipedia entry on The Star Wars Holiday Special, and I realize now that you actually had little to do with the special, and I imagine it's one of the reasons that everything Star Wars related goes through you first. I did like the alleged quote from George Lucas about how if he had the time and money he'd hunt every copy down and pound it with a sledgehammer.

Now I want to find a clip of Harrison Ford's appearance on Conan O'Brien when he was asked about the special, Conan plays a clip, and Ford is clearly mortified.

Why does this stable playset come with a pole and a line of blow?

Wherein SoQuoted makes the obvious connection between strippers and the My Little Pony toyline:

My Little Pony is not quite as skanky as Bratz. What more can I say about the stripper ponies?

Stripper names? Check: Paradise, Cherries Jubilee, Lickety Split, Galaxy, Morning Glory.

Garish ass tattooes? check

Neon makeup with criminal use of eye shadow? Obviously

I never quite put it together before, but it all fits: the proliferation of "tramp stamp" tattoos in the 90s is in direct correllation to the popularity of My Little Pony in the 80s. Brilliant. Go out in any club district in a major city and you'll see the tattoos, eye shadow, garish streaked hair. Damn you My Little Pony , how could you thank millions of 80s kids by turning them into the Girls Gone Wild/STD magnets of the modern age?

Not So Beneficial

I'm filling out my health insurance renewal forms for work today. As "The Single Guy", I don't have anyone specific in mind when I have to fill in the beneficiary part - who gets paid when I die. I usually put in my folks. There are a couple of friends I would put, but frankly they could knock me off and make it look like an accident. And they have wood chippers.

I wish there was an additional option:

"I want all my benefits to go to my parents. And I'd like all my debts to be divided amongst this list of ex-girlfriends, bad dates and "thanks, let's just be friends".

That'll show them for ordering the lobster and not putting out.*

* You know i'm kidding. I'd never take a woman out where she could order lobster; not without foreplay first.** That's just a rookie mistake.
** Yes, still kidding.

Triptafan-tastic Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers. In honour of the holiday, List of Things Thrown 5 Minutes Ago has a link to a delicious turkey recipe for Sage-Roasted Turkey with Caramelized Onions and Sage Gravy (yum!) and The Onion AV Club has a list of 17 classic Thanksgiving TV episodes. The Friends episode they picked out of all of their annual Thanksgiving episodes is The One Where Ross Got High (where Rachel mixes a Trifle recipe with the Shepard's Pie), but I still prefer the just as funny episode with Brad Pitt showing up as a former fat classmate. I'd also add on last year's How I Met Your Mother episode, the one I used to get several people hooked on the show.

The grand champion, Muhammed Ali of Thanksgiving episodes is best summed up in this clip:

Pass interference

I'm at work, and I went to pick up a cardboard file box full of United Way forms. I noticed it wasn't put together right, so I popped the handles in and said:

"Oh the handles aren't on here. Let me fix it, it's just like one of the boxes I use for my comic book collection..."

I notice I'm surrounded by women

"...I mean football trophies."

Do you have a reservation for "Mr. Bag"? First name is "Douche"

scooped from the Torontoist
Posted by Karen Whaley

Streeter: Homophobic Dining Edition
Overheard at a King Street eatery, 10:00 PM Tuesday.

Patron*: "Excuse me, waitress? Can I please be moved to a different table? I think the two men at the table next to mine are gay."

Waitress: "And you don't want to catch it, right?"

Patron: "Well, I'm not worried about that. I'm just concerned about...you know...hearing private conversations."

Didn't anyone tell him this was Canada? We let gay people get married here.

*On a side-note, Patron was the holder of a Centurion Card, an American Express credit card for the rich and famous which requires its holder to charge a minimum of US$250,000 annually. Which just goes to show that money can buy you a lot of things, but not tolerance and a little class.

What would Bluto Blutarsky say?

Two frat boys are suing the makers of "Borat" for portraying them as drunken sexists. Funny, that sounds like every other frat boy I've met. These frat brothers claim that being shown in "Borat" caused them humiliation and distress. Dudes, you guys presumably went through hazing in order to join a frat, and now you want a payout because "Borat" caused you to feel humiliated!???? Man, the Deltas surely would have drummed these two opportunists out. Double Secret Probation for the both of them.

*sigh* Stupid stupid frat boys.

The plaintiffs were not named in the lawsuit "to protect themselves from any additional and unnecessary embarrassment." They were identified in the movie as fraternity members from a South Carolina university, and appeared drunk as they made insulting comments about women and minorities to Cohen's character.to protect themselves from any additional and unnecessary embarrassment." They were identified in the movie as fraternity members from a South Carolina university, and appeared drunk as they made insulting comments about women and minorities to Cohen's character.

After a bout of heavy drinking, the plaintiffs signed a release form they were told "had something to do with reliability issues with being in the RV," Taillieu said.

The film "made plaintiffs the object of ridicule, humiliation, mental anguish and emotional and physical distress, loss of reputation, goodwill and standing in the community," the lawsuit said.

From Associated Press (more)

November 11th

Even though it's on the weekend and may slip your mind, take a moment on Saturday.

On the 11th day of the 11th month, at the 11th hour, take a moment, just one moment out of your day, and remember the thousands of men and women who sacrificed their lives fighting for freedom and democracy during the First World War, the Second World War, the Korean War, the Afghanistan conflict and during peacekeeping missions. Think of those who have come before us and those right this minute, who are sacrificing more than anyone should ever ask. Think of their family, think of the lives that were lost, the time that was lost. Think of the lives that were saved, and of the people that are here because of those men and women.

I choose to remember all this, and I choose to remember my Uncle Lou. He's my dad's uncle, and he was a member of the Canadian Artillery in World War 2. He was from Canada, and he met my dad's Aunt Liz while he was stationed overseas. I think he was on leave in Scotland. Liz and Lou married and Liz came to Canada as a war bride. One summer my grandmother (Liz's sister), and my father came to visit from Scotland. And my dad came to like Canada, and thought this would be a good place for a young man looking for a future. And that's how my dad, and my family, came to Canada, and it's why I was born a Canadian.

Uncle Lou passed away last year, and I always remember that, because of him, I was given the honour and privilege of being Canadian, and in the grand scheme of things just being here.

It's not a war story, but it's life turned out. A young man joins the army to fight in the Second World War; a young man visits Canada and thinks it would be a good place make a life; and a young man looks at the poppy on his lapel and thinks how lucky he is to be here.

In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

- John McCrae, 1915

I wonder if AOL owns fitness clubs, because this sounds familiar

"Cancel the account. Cancel the account. Cancel the account. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST CANCEL THE FUCKING ACCOUNT."

( man trying to cancel his AOL account over the phone; make with the clicky here for the full article and mp3 of his conversation with an AOL rep)

scooped from BoingBoing

Gossip Folks

OK everyone try to at least look surprised, as the marriage of modern American royalty has ended: Britney Spears has filed for divorce from K-Fed. I'm not sure on the timing of this, but it almost looks like her PR people thought the announcement would be discreetly buried by announcing the news on election night in America. I give it 6 months before K-Fed shows up on a season of The Surreal Life (he's a whiteboy rapper who apparently has been showing up on World Wrestling Entertainment shows lately - he's been born for that show).

Neil Patrick Harris, who is criminally good on the show How I Met Your Mother (this week's "Swarley!" gag was priceless), is the latest celeb to feel compelled to out himself as a "content gay man". Bloggerattzi Perez Hilton has a mad-on for outing celebs. Jenster said he'd been on Neil Patrick Harris case for a while, and Perez's site keeps on naming names in an effort to make himself noticed. A couple of those names have been speculated for years, while a few were surprising if true.

It's lousy that he feels the need to do that just because some celeb reporter is bullying him out of the closet online. His orientation doesn't change how well he acts, although it does probably mean that he never did, in fact, get together with Wanda on Doogie Howser. It's remarkable how Neil Patrick Harris has created to distinctly different characters, Doogie Howser MD and Barney the toxic bachelor on HIMYM. Although this outing supports my theory that straight men don't play the EmCee role in Cabaret (Alan Cumming originated the role.)

If only someone could adopt an African baby while simultaneously outing themselves while divorcing their spouse, that would be a celeb-gossip trifecta:

"I've decided to leave my husband of 2 years and, with my lesbian life partner, will raise this child like he were my own African baby. We ask for privacy from the media, as soon as we finish our interviews on Oprah, The View, and Howard Stern."

I wonder why nobody ever comes out as bi-sexual? I also wonder how surprised my friend G. must be, now that he's learned the man who did coke off a nude stripper in Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (sequel confirmed by the way) is in fact gay. He was surprised when I mentioned Ian McKellan was the first gay man to be knighted:

"Gandalf's gay!???!"

Which would only be a surprise to anyone who didn't see his date on Oscar night, a rather young and shiny lad, or his appearance on Saturday Night Live where he was shown bopping along off-stage to Kylie Minogue's dance routine while checking out her dancers.

To all the shows I've loved before

The Onion A.V. Club has a rundown of "15 Lamentably Lost One-Season TV Wonders". A lot of shows I loved that were taken from me after the first year are there (and most of them came and went on Fox).

The one's that interested me were:

The Dana Carvey Show (ABC 1996) Now I never saw this show in it's brief existence, but this is a case of wishing you had a portal to the future, because if execs could see where their writer's from this show would end up in the next 2 - 10 years, they would have kept going: Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert, Charlie Kaufmann, Bob Odenkirk, Louis C.K. and Robert Smigel.

Cupid (ABC 1998) Paula Marshall is a psychologist whose patient, Jeremy Piven, believes he's Cupid, cast out from Olympus and banished until he can unite 100 couples without using magic arrows or divine intervention. I thought Paula Marshall and the motormouth Piven had great chemistry, and it was an interesting premise, but audiences just don't want to watch relationships shows (Alicia Silverstone and Heather Graham both had sitcoms with a similar matchmaker theme). I haven't seen it pop up on DVD yet, but there are some online torrents of the series floating about.

Freeks & Geeks (NBC 1999) Do yourself a favour and rent this DVD set. You'll see some excellent stories that remind you that high school was a time of freaks and geeks. Some great performances from several actors just starting out, including Jason Segal (Marshall on How I Met Your Mother), Seth Rogan (40 Year Old Virgin) and Linda Cardellini (ER). The three guys who played the younger geeks all turned in several really good performances set in an age where kids with single parents were on the upsurge.

Undeclared (Fox 2001) - Like Freaks & Geeks, it was also created by Judd Apatow, it also captured the simultaneous thrill and terror of being on your own at university. More comedic that Freeks & Geeks, and just as endearing.

Other one-season wonders include Firefly, Action, Profit and Police Squad. I would have added in Wonderfalls myself, but you can check out the list for yourself on The Onion AV Club.

Scooped from A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago.

Stephen Colbert on the YouTube deletions

What better place to find Stephen Colbert's take on YouTube, Google, and profits, than on YouTube.

more tricks and treats

From Nicole:

My boss taught his little boy a cute party trick. Instead of 'what does the cow say?' he asks him:

"What does the zombie say?"

and the 3 year old sticks his arms out in front of him and in a scary voice:

"Braaaainnns...."

Greg & Mich dressed up their daughter Brenna as a princess this year. She's probably the only trick or treater who had D&D character sheet made up for her: "OK sweetie, remember: you're a human princess with D6 Initiative, +2 Charisma, and you need to roll for damage. Who's Daddy's little paladin?"

A couple of times last night, I'd be hanging on to one of the kittens with one hand to keep them from running out the door and handing out candy with the other hand. A lot of the kids seemed mroe excited to pet a kitten than to get candy.

tricks and treats

This is a really nice neighbourhood for Halloween. The next door neighbours set up a smoke machine and most of the folks were on their porches with their candy and jack o'lanterns. I had over 100 kids, and cutest costume went to the 2 year old in an over-sized Mickey Mouse costume over his winter jacket.

YouTube pulling clips

I noticed a disturbing trend ever since Google bought YouTube. More and more clips are being pulled for copyright reasons. First clips from the Cartoon Network show "Robot Chicken" were being pulled. Now I hear that all clips related to Comedy Central shows, including "South Park", "The Daily Show", and "The Colbert Report" are being deleted. It's strange to see these clips, which are among their most popular "copyrighted" clips, being yanked. I'd been adding several classic Daily Show bits (Steve Carrell getting drunk on camera with Steve Carrell for a story on responsible drinking) that just aren't to be found anywhere else. Is this the end of the Golden Age of YouTube, when clips were swapped with free abandon?

It seems to be reactionary on YouTube's part; there is no actual formal charges or lawsuits being pursued, likely just a "third-party notification by Comedy Central,” telling YouTube to purge the clips and YouTube preferring to comply rather than take the time to see if they actually have to or not.

It does seem like a disappointing move by Comedy Central particularly, who benefited from the attention YouTube generated for their properties. "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" both use YouTube on their shows and refer to them in stories. And how many people realized that South Park is still funny after receiving YouTube clips of "Stuck in The Closet"?

Once Comedy Central were the cool teacher, showing "Ren & Stimpy" episodes in class, taking us outside when it was nice out and it fun to find out new things. Now they're that bitter drunk teacher who just gave you a 10 page essay to write on the long weekend and smells like mothballs. I'd show a funny clip to illustrate the point, but YouTube deleted it.

Update: TV Tattle.com says "Comedy Central says it only removed lengthy clips from YouTube. Shortened clips haven't been purged from the video Web site. Only clips encompassing full episodes were taken down. "

Slate.com examines the murky legal waters of copyright law with Does YouTube Really Have Legal Problems?

NY Times: YouTube Is Purging Copyrighted Clips

Teeth on the Dial - TV News

A summary of TV stuff from last week, mostly from TV Tattle.com

"How I Met Your Mother" gives Barney a brother -- Wayne Brady

"Studio 60," "The Nine," "Men in Trees" & "Help Me" have all received orders for additional scripts. While not a full season order, it's good news for these ratings challenged series.

"Sesame Street's" nostalgic DVDs are for adults only!? - The "Old School" DVDs featuring episodes from 1969-74 comes with this odd disclaimer "these early 'Sesame Street' episodes are intended for grown-ups and may not meet the needs of today's pre-school child." It turns out that "Sesame Street" added the disclaimer to protect kids from being distressed at the changes the show has made over 37 years.

NBC resurrects 2-hour Thursday comedy block with "Scrubs" & "30 Rock" - Scrubs is back earlier than planned (it was supposed to come back in January or later), and NBC is putting it's Thursday night comedy block back together again after the past few years have seen The Apprentice and Deal or No Deal filling space at 9pm. The blcok will be starting Nov. 30, and will see "My Name is Earl" and "The Office", followed by "Scrubs" & "30 Rock". Odd note: This leads to the battle of "Scrubs" vs. "Grey's Anatomy", a battle only TIVO can win.

ABC will bring back "Lost" on Feb. 7 - After a 13-week hiatus through the holidays, "Lost" will return Feb. 7 for an uninterrupted run of 16 episodes. The last new episode of "Lost" is Nov. 7th.

"SNL's" 1st season coming to DVD A move that seems to scream "See, we were cutting edge and funny once! This is why there are two primetime shows about life behind the scenes at SNL type shows!"

It's true!: "Fraggle Rock" is coming out with a movie

Nobody's Watching "Lost"

Friggin' sweet "Lost" video from the online show Nobody's Watching, with a funny cameo...



"We thank you for the Rock N Roll Hobbit." BWAHHAHAHHHAHA!!!

www.nobodyswatching.tv/
Found on TV Tattle.com

Makings of a good night:

• Streetcar gets me home by 6pm.
  
• Take the dog for a long walk.
  
• Stop off to pick up piping hot fish & chips.
  
• Get home and munch on said fish & chips, and chase them down with a bottle of Mill Street Brewery Coffee Porter beer.
  
• Watch funny re-run of The Office.
  
• Read new Terry Prachett paperback while listening to music and picking kittens off my sweater.

A Dram of Scotch and a Timbit

Query:

Say you put a man on a plane, flew him around for hours or knocked him out A-Team style, so that he had no idea how long or how far he flew. Then have the plane land in Hamilton. And have 500 of your closest friends in Hamilton speak with a Scottish accent all day and drive on the left side of the road. Would the man assume he was in Glasgow? If you got dropped in the middle of Glasgow, with 500 hosers and a Tim Hortons on every corner, would you be able to tell the difference between Glasgow, Scotland and Hamilton, Ontario?

Whisper to a Scream

A story came up that I had missed: Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert, lost his voice 18 months ago. I mean lost, as in completely, utterly, permanently. The part of his brain that controls speech essentially crashed.

Good news came this week as, despite the odds, he seems to have found a way to reboot that part of the brain and he regained some use of his voice back. It's an odd and fascinating tale of losing something you take for granted, and then trying any way possible to get it back.

Scott Adams :: A Good New's Day

Scott must have millions of fans, just based on how many office cubicles have some Dilbert cartoon stuck up on the wall ("Must ... control ... fist ... of death!") With the outpouring from fans and friends alike, Scott says "I am more touched than a congressional page." At least the funny bits of the brain are still there too. All the best Scott!

Dilbert.blog


Found on A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

trick and treats

It's getting pretty brisk out there, with the temp down to the single digits most days. This reminds me of Halloween when I was growing up in Calgary. It was usually cold around the end of October, with an early frost or some snow. We'd put on our winter jackets, put our plastic Woolco/K-Mart costumes on over that. With all the layers we looked like fat versions of our characters. We'd look like Fat He-Man, Fat GI Joe or Fat Pirate. It never occured to my brother or I to go out as Fat Albert.

Back in the 80s, most of the Halloween costumes you could buy were cheap plastic masks and coveralls. You could only get one night's use out of them. The fun fact is that when the temperature drops down enough, those plastic costumes and mask would break apart. That's how we knew we'd been out more than an hour: my Mer-Man mask would start to break apart and then I was just Kid in Winter Coat with Plastic Pieces Clinging To Me. My fantasy about filling a pillow case or a garbage bag would never come true, because those costumes would disintergrate at the stroke of 7pm.

Everyone has their own favourite candy or treat, the thing that would be your "Score" of the night. Usually it was house handing out chips or cans of pop. You always heard there was a house handing out full-sized candy, but I always thought that was an urban myth. Until I found the Hershey household.

For me, it was always mini O-Henry bars. My Dad always loved those rocket candies, my brother liked the Coffee Crisps, but I always liked the O-Henry's. We used to pool all the candy at the end of the night and split it, then end up trading with one another for our favourites. By the end, there was always that leftover pile of stuff nobody wanted, usually those rock-hard stale toffee candy wrapped in Halloween wrappers and Sun-Maid boxes of raisins that have congealed together. That's the stuff that would stay at the bottom of the Halloween Candy horde until the end of March.

Happy Halloween everyone, and try not to be the a-hole handing out raisins, toothbrushes and floss this year.

Aquaman ain't no punk

On the McSweeney's site, Glen Weldon has gotten it from the King of the Sea, first hand:

Aquaman, King Of The Seven Seas,

Has Fucking Had It With You, Man.

(link)

Hail to the King baby. He doesn't talk to fish. He commands them. Period.

I found this link on Everyday Is Like Wednesday, who found it somewhere else, etc. etc.

paging doctor doolittle

My pet-sitting gig in Toronto has brought me into contact with all manners of creatures:

Ranger is a mopey dog. He's about 7 years old, starting to show his age as he takes the stairs slowly now. He's half Labrador, half Rotweiller: a good regular and well-behaved dog. I think he misses his owners, because he's been moping about the house like some cheese-eating emo boy, er.. dog. He picks at his food, sleeps all day. I should see if he has some Cure albums hidden about the house. At least he cheers up when it's time for a walk. If I need to do a few extra blocks and that takes us past these nice bakeries and cheese shops in Leslieville, well so be it. That's the sacrifice I'm willing to make for the happiness of a dog.

The cats are a handful. The momma cat and two kittens are playful, with the two kittens taking turns playing follow the leader, which leads into wrestling and more chasing about the house. Last night the games continued into bedtime. As I started to doze off, I heard the faint sound of a little collar bell growing louder, and then ZOOM over the top of my head and then gone again. I forgot how weird cats can be.

And lastly, a word on the raccoons in downtown Toronto. These guys are hardcore. I have 2 different restraints on the garbage bins to keep the little buggers out, so they found a new way to entertain themselves. I woke up to find that the defunct BBQ in the yard had been wiped the hell out. From the quick look this morning, it seems some critter knocked over the BBQ last night (no propane tank) and took the BBQ apart, with the grill, the element and the lid scattered on the patio. I didn't see any footprints, because my other suspicion was that someone had tried to stand on the BBQ in order to climb up to a window, but I saw no footprints and there were other, more stable footholds to be used (regardless, the alarm didn't go off).

raccoons killed the BBQ. That's just mean.

tales of the ill

blech. been home sick for the past few days. I got soaked in the rain last Wednesday and I've been down with a cold ever since. I've been sticking to the South Park cure for SARS: chicken noodle soup, DayQuil and Sprite. I'll write a bit more later. I'm back downtown for the next few months on a housesitting gig, so I hope I'll have more to write about once I'm back in Toronto.

Tales of the Malnourished

Through various reasons on Wednesday, I didn't eat much. I wasn't particularly hungry, just busy at work and distracted by other things, so I didn't pay attention to what I ate. This is what happened:

Breakfast: Cafe Latte and a cheese croissant
Lunch: Cheese and crackers
Snack: Coffee and a pumpkin spice donut
Dinner: Homemade soup
Concert: 4 beers
Aftershow: Fries and sausages

Can anyone tell me how I didn't drop dead from malnutrition? That was one of the most unbalanced days I've had, but the odd part was I felt fine (yes, even after 4 beers at the concert with nothing substantial in my belly). But looking at that menu is a surely a reminder to me to look after myself better. Hence today's meals:

Breakfast: Bagel with peanut butter, cup of tea
Lunch: Half a chicken wrap and a fruit salad

That's more like it. That's how an adult should eat, not like the "university student during exams" menu from yesterday.

This would explain the lack of Scottish Ninjas

What happens if you throw your favourite wrestling stars into a World War 2 German prison camp? Why hijinks a plenty of course. From Robot Chicken, the twisted toy-based show where the acting is as plastic as Melanie Griffith, we present Hogan's Heroes.

UPDATE: Awww damn. YouTube pulled all the Robot Chicken clips due to copyright. Hope it gets sorted out with legal.I became a fan of Robot Chicken because of all the great YouTube clips my friends and I traded through emails and blogs, so I would think it benefits them to keep up the viral marketing.


Hulk: "Roddy, we need your stealth. Go take out that guard."
Roddy: "HEY HEY HEY YA F'N NAZI! HOW ARE YA?"

Yes that really is Rowdy Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan doing their own voice work, no that isn't Iron Sheik or Macho Man Randy Savage doing their own voices, and yes, Macho Man is indeed on Season 6 of The Surreal Life.

"...they soon got used to the unsteadiness of their existence."

Rohinton Mistry
A Fine Balance

Turkey Lurkey

Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canucks. Seems like the perfect type of fall day for sitting inside, watching football, and eating until I pass out from turkey, pumpkin pie, and the inevitbale box of wine someone dug up. I'm looking just as forward to the leftover and very Atkins-unfriendly Turkey and Stuffing Sandwiches. Gobble gobble.

The 300: Remember The Spartans

The Spartans are the original underdogs. They were not the largest army in all of Ancient Greece, but they were the best trained, bravest, and most feared in all of Greece. Their pivotal last stand came during the Battle of Thermopylae, when 300 legendary Spartans held off the mighty Persian army of about a quarter million in order to buy time for the Greek city-states to mobilize against the invaders. That epic battle is used as a rallying cry whenever a team is faced with insurmountable odds, and now that battle is recreated in The 300. I have the YouTube version of the trailer here, but do yourself a favour and check out the large screen versions for The 300 on the Apple website. It's bloody gorgeous.



The 300 is based on the Frank Miller graphic novel of the same name. Miller is known for such hard boiled works as Sin City and the ground-breaking graphic novel Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. The trailer looks visceral, looking to draw in fans of the battle scenes from The Lord of The Rings and Braveheart. It reminds me of The Battle of Agincourt scenes from the excellent Henry V by Kenneth Branagh, which also saw a smaller army hold off a larger opposition. I'm looking forward to The 300, as it looks like a dirtier, more vivid depiction of war than, say, Troy, which I found made everything a bit too pretty to take seriously as a comment on the brutal nature of war.

Visually this trailer has a dark and brutal beauty, which is understandable as the director is Zach Snyder, who got Hollywood's attention with his 2004 remake of Dawn of The Dead. He's currently linked to the long-gestating production of The Watchmen, based on the revolutionary graphic novel by Alan Moore.

The 300 opens in March 2007.

300 Production Blog

Guess what? Chicken butt.

For the past few Thursdays, I've plopped onto the couch and watched a little TV. Around 9 I start to click between CSI and Grey's Anatomy, not really being a fan of either, but not disliking either of them. I enjoyed Grey's, but can't seem to watch a whole episode without the main character or someone connected to her irritating me enough to flip channels for a scene or two.

The fine folks at A List of Things Thrown Together 5 Minutes Ago pointed me towards the blog kept by the writers of Grey's Anatomy, and I saw this amusing post on just how much thought and planning had to go into a scene where Christina (Sandra Oh, fellow Canuck and pretty darn great actress) cleaves a chicken in half. The post is from one of the "new kids" on the writing staff, Debora Cahn, who wrote some good post-Sorkin West Wing episodes, including Leo's Funeral.

The nervous condition came and went over the first weeks on the job, but I think I officially got over it dealing with Cristina and the chicken. Cristina’s decided she’s going to help Burke get back on the horse after his hand surgery, (so sweet, so generous, so unexpected from Cristina) and she’s going to do it by having him practice operating on dead chickens. So when it came time to shoot the episode, there were long conversations with the fantastic production team about the hacking of the chicken. Was it just a chicken breast? Was it a whole fryer? The folks from sets and props had to design a cutting board that could be built into Burke’s counter top, so it wouldn’t fly off the counter, as there was a lot of concern about Sandra Oh getting hit in the face with either a meat cleaver or a chicken. The conversation continued when we hit the stage to rehearse the move with Sandra. Could she get through the bird in one hack or would it take two? (I thought it should be one. It was important to me. I don’t know why.) We had rehearsal chickens. We had stunt chickens. We discovered that the stunt chickens, which had balloons inside them instead of bones, emitted some sort of evil stinky salmonella gas that threatened to kill Sandra on the spot. It was scary. In the end, she made it through in one incredibly satisfying hack. The whole thing just made me really happy.
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Merry Catmas

It's the first Friday of October, so Happy Catmas to you!

Gnarls Barkley goes buggy

The video for Gnarls Barkley's take on the Violent Femmes classic "Gone Daddy Gone".



The arrangement sounds the same to me, more or less a straight cover of a good tune, but this video looks like Mighty Mites on acid. Possibly conceived after huffing a can of bug spray, but I can't confirm that. Or even back that up.

OK Go on Ice

I know, I know: I can't shut up about how much I like the band OK Go. You seen the terrific videos for A Million Ways and Here It Goes Again (aka the Treadmill routine) here. I'm getting tickets to their show at Mod Club on Monday November 13th. You think that would be enough for me.

And then I see the ice skating bit. Somehow, I missed this evolution of figure skating, as the Canadian bronze medalists Utako Wakamatsu & Jean-Sebastien Fecteau perform their OK Go routine. If any of you figure skating fans (you know who you are) know whether this was the Nationals or which year this was, let me know please. I don't know which is weirder: that someone adapted the choreography of A Million Ways sucessfully to a figure skating routine, or that this has made me watch figure skating for the first time since the days of Elvis Stojko and Josie Chounard.

information that would have been useful 5 minutes ago

Did you ever see someone trip on the streetcar or cut themselves in the kitchen, and after they've done it you say "Ooh, be careful!"

How useless is that? That's a warning that would have been useful about a minute ago. It's like someone falling off a roof and then you tell them "Ooh, you should be careful up there" as they wait for the ambulance to show up.

Somewhat different is someone consoling you after you've been dumped, broken up with someone, or left at the altar. "That guy/girl wasn't right for you, they were a jerk." In that case, yes, it's true and you could have be told that weeks or months ago, but would you have listened? No, probably not, because you would have given the same reply as the guy on the roof who you warn ahead of time to be careful: "I know what I am doing."

No one wants to be told they have bad judgement, but I think recognizing it is a step in the right direction. Or at least keeps your feet on the roof.

voices in your head

I've been chatting with a friend after she saw the Stranger Than Fiction trailer, and we got to talking about inner monologues.

Tell me about your inner monologue:

• Is it a type of voice, male or female?
  
  
• Does it just go "la-la-la I'm so pretty" all day?
  
  
• Does it have an accent?
  
  
• Does it sound like an actor?
  
  
• Does your voice sound like Samuel L Jackson somedays: "I want these mutha#*@$ing TPS reports off my mutha#*@$ing desk right now! And where's my mutha#*@$ing coffee?"
• If it sounds like Zach Braff, then you probably watch a lot of Scrubs.
  
  
• Does it sound like Marvin the Paranoid Android? (seek help)
  
  
• Does it sound like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex In the City? (seek help and a Cosmo)
  
  
• Does it sound like a musical? (seek funding)
  
  
• Does it encourage you, criticize you?
  
  
• Or do you just hear a song or theme music all day?

My inner monologue sometimes slips outside: I ask whether that was my inside or outside voice. "I can't believe I have to spend time with this idiot .... oh, was that my outside voice?"

I think my inner monologue changes narrators a bit. Someday's it's Tom Waits (eccentric and gravelly). Sometime's it sounds like Ian McKellan, but lately I get a lot of Ian McShane/Al Swearengen from Deadwood. I think I'd go batty if it sounded like Dennis Miller or Ray Romano.

My friend on the other hand has a chatty monologue, who can go from demure to lunatic in a minute, and "curses more than an entire platoon of military boys". Which sounds like Helena Bonham Carter in the movie Fight Club.

Who's in your head?

That 70's Job

Today is Staff Appreciation day at work. As a treat we get to dress like it's the "1970's". I keep having flashbacks to the scene in Office Space where they announce they are "letting" the staff wear Hawaiian shirts on a Friday. On top of that is:

Me + 70s shirt = Me being called Fez all day




I wonder if I can justify Office Space as a training film in my workplace? Oh well, back to my T.P.S. reports and my lava lamp...



Yes, that is John C. McGinley (Dr. Cox from Scrubs) in the interview scene.

Life can't get any Stranger Than Fiction

I hear a voice, a voice no one else hears. And it says "Go see Stranger Than Fiction".

The voice also says clean my plate and tip generously. My narrator used to be a waiter.

Stranger Than Fiction is one of a handful of movies I look forward to seeing this fall. It stars Will Farrell in a not so typical Farrell role. Farrell plays an IRS agent named Harold Crick, who starts to hear a voice. The voice is narrating the minutiae of Harold's life, and it's the voice of the author (Emma Thompson) who thinks she's merely writing a book. She's convinced she needs to kill off her main character in order to finish the book. Harold is the main character, and he reacts understandably upset when he hears the words "imminent demise". Things get weird.

I enjoy existential comedies and the trailer reminded me of some of the funnier bits in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Groundhog Day, two of my favourite movies that balanced comedic actors with existential insecurities and dire consequences. Dustin Hoffman seems to be channeling the existential detective he played in I Heart Huckabees. Tony Hale (Buster from Arrested Development) and Queen Latifah have parts, and Maggie Gyllenhaal seems to be The Love Interest (yep, she's a favourite too). And the soundtrack? It's scored by Britt Daniel from one of my favourite bands, Spoon. This film seems to be playing a lot of my favourites.

Stranger Than Fiction opens November 10.



Apple - Trailers - STRANGER THAN FICTION

'Boondocks' Not Coming Back in Foreseeable Future

'Boondocks' Not Coming Back in Foreseeable Future:

"Because Aaron McGruder has made no statement about whether he'll resume or end 'The Boondocks' comic strip, Universal Press Syndicate announced today that newspapers should not count on it coming back in the foreseeable future."

“It was obvious that Aaron would not be able to meet his original six-month target of returning ‘The Boondocks’ to newspapers… His Sunday strips needed to be in by mid-September to meet newspapers’ deadlines of publishing ‘The Boondocks’ by the end of October. We had to consider the newspapers currently running ‘The Boondocks’ reruns and expecting its return. It was unfair to keep them guessing any longer.”

The story.

McGruder took a hiatus from the strip last year in order to recharge his creative battery. Now it looks like he's not coming back at all. This may be the end of the comic strip, but McGruder continues working on the Boondocks cartoon, which has been renewed for a second season. That's a shame, as I enjoyed the comic strips more than the cartoon.

Will Garrett Morris play Danny Glover?

The Sisyphus-ian Sisyphean Law & Order franchise moves ever onward and, in an upcoming episode, manages to play to two of its strengths: deliver timely storylines that play on real world events, and provides comic actors with a chance to show they can play dramatic (a highlight in the past year or so was Martin Short's creepy turn):

"Law & Order" taps Chevy Chase for "Mel Gibson" role
The "SNL" alum will guest as a celebrity who goes on a religious diatribe after police stop him for DUI, and arrest him with blood-soaked clothes.

www.tvtattle.com

well that didn't suck

I spent Friday night getting my urban-fix as I met friends for dinner in the Little Korea area of Toronto. Spent some time wandering through the huge Korean supermarket on Bloor by Palmerston, and dinner at Korea House. The food portions are huge, but the price is great. We split a bottle of soju, which is pretty much a bottle of sweet potato vodka. A wander through some nice College St. neighborhoods, a stop in at Soundscapes record shop and I was back in the burbs.

Saturday was a good day. I went to visit some old friends in Peterborough, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would. Well, i knew that visiting Greg & Mich would be fun, but Peterborough has some nice places to hang out. Alas, we couldn't track down a karaoke bar, but we did check in at the town's only martini bar, The Saphire Room. Really nice space which reminded me of the smaller lounges I enjoy in Toronto. The drink menu had some depth to it and the bartenders were quicker than I thought they'ld be with the more complicated cocktails. There seemed to be several bachelorette parties wandering through the downtown too, like some universal constant: wherever there are bars that serve "Slippery Nipple" or "Sex on the Beach", there will be a bachelorette party and a bride-to-be with a tiara and an inflatable penis.

It hadn't occured to me that Peterborough is a university town until I got into the downtown area. It reminded me pleasantly of Guelph, with it's preserved downtown buildings and lines of boutiques, bars, second hand book shops, and mom & pop stores. Also the $2.75 drink night at the Trasheteria would have surely rekindled some fond memories if we had gotten our second wind.

The Trasheteria has two locations I know of, one in Peterborough and the other in Guelph. Most of my early bar-going experiences were at the Trasheteria in Guelph, where Retro 80s nights went hand in hand with my first Rye & Ginger. Nostalagia rather than common sense urged me to try the Peterborough Trasheteria for old time sakes.

"Greg, we have to got to the Trash! Come on! If they're playing Bauhaus we just have to go!". Greg was willing to take me up on that condition, but there were no strains of "Bela Lugosi's Dead" to be heard, so we moved on down the road. Perhaps another time.

The only downside to the night was the perplexing behaviour of the cabs who would drive around with their top lights on even when they had a fare. They must have been passing us by so they could go to Trent University for larger fares.

Most of my previous Peterborough experience was marketing a cottage life magazine at the Peterborough Fair and Tractor Pull, so it was nice to experience more to my tastes.

where it's at

I'm bopping through work today. I had plenty of sleep. I'm still cracking up remembering the season premiere of The Office last night (That kiss! Both of them! Gaydar! BWAHAHAHAHA). I'm slightly caffeinated with a nice buzz. I've been reading Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly with great amusement: it's part auto-biography, part expose of restaurant kitchens (I am never ordering fish on a Monday again). I'm humming along with The Clash's "Police at My Back", and looking forward to a night out after work, followed by another night out tomorrow with old friends.

Just thought you should know that things are pretty good right now.

Elmo... TO THE EXTREME!!!!!!

Parents, might as well start to line-up for the hot Christmas toy now. In honour (or as an excuse) of the 10th anniversary of Tickle Me Elmo, a new toy named Tickle Me Extreme Elmo was unveiled from its cloud of secrecy. Not content to merely laugh, this Elmo has a damned fit, not seen since I imitated the dialogue between 2 cats in heat to Michelle and she punched me to shut me up, just so she could get her breath back.

TMX Elmo (yes, really its name) slaps his knee, rolls on the floor and clutches his tummy as he stop just short of pissing himself with laughter. I can already picture my 4 year old god-daughter imitating TMX Elmo on Christmas Day. Nothing says Christmas like trying to stop a child from pounding the floor with laughter during grace.

Why is it necessary for Elmo to be Extreme? Extreme is such a 90s type of marketing phrase. Does Elmo pound back Red Bull and Mountain Dew, go bungee jumping and the hit the skate park? Is he snorting a line of cocaine off of Big Bird's beak and then driving to Vegas with Oscar the Grouch, whilst imaginary bats and Snuffalupgus chase them across the desert?

I anxiously await all manner of inappropriate videos of this doll in action to hit YouTube.

CNNMoney.com: Top-secret Elmo revealed! Fisher-Price's 10th anniversary of the Sesame Street doll is a hysterically laughing, belly-clutching, floor-thumping extreme version of itself.

Out, damned semi-colon! Out, I say!

The band from "Rock Star: Supernova", faced with an injunction forbidding them from being called Supernova, will henceforth be known as Rock Star Supernova.

I imagine the creativity that went into creating a new band name will be reflected in the quality of the song writing too.

How to Comment or otherwise tell me to shut the hell up.

I noticed this on a blog I started to read this week Moviepie Musings and thought I'd use it to remind people how to comment on posts without registering with Blogger.

1. click on the "comments" hyperlink at the bottom of the blog entry on which you'd like to comment

2. type your comment into the text box

3. when asked for your identity, simply select "other" -- this opens two new fields: one for your name (or handle or however you'd like to be identified), and one for your website's URL (if you have one or feel like putting one in...it's not necessary)

4. then click "publish your comment" and presto! you did it! hooray!

It's quick, easy and completely anonymous (i.e., in case you're worried, we can't trace you or anything). So, please, comment away!

Evangelline Lilly isn't covered by this policy is she?

"Lost"bans skinny dipping

Producers have reportedly forbidden Josh Holloway, Matthew Fox and Dominic Monaghan from swimming in the buff, out of concern for their image.

If producers really wanted to protect the public image of the Lost cast, they ought to take away all their driver's licenses while in Hawaii and hire a chauffeur/body guard for each of them.

The Mixtape Story mixtape

In support of The Mixtape Story, here is the playlist I used. On second look, perhaps "Soul Meets Body" by Death Cab For Cutie was a mistake in "the mixed message" sense. Maybe I should have put in some Tom Waits or Interpol to take the edge off...

The Mixtape Story playlist:

1	The Dandy Warhols - Bohemian Like You
2	Stars - Ageless Beauty
3	The Arcade Fire - Wake Up
4	Badly Drawn Boy - Another Pearl
5	K-OS - Crabbuckit
6	Christine Fellows - Souvenirs
7	Spoon - The Way We Get By
8	Wilco - Outtasite (Outta Mind)
9	Calexico - Not Even Stevie Nicks...
10	The Dears - No Cities Left
11	Feist - Inside and Out
12	Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body
13	Aimee Mann - Satellite
14	Controller.Controller - Silent Seven
15	Beck - Girl
16	Phoenix - Everything Is Everything
17	Modest Mouse - Float On
18	Clem Snide - Moment in the Sun
19	Jason Collett - All I've Ever Know
20	Alejandro Escovedo - Wave

We'll try something to keep you kind readers coming back here. I know I haven't been posting in a regular or timely matter, as life has gotten a bit busier over the past month. Every Monday I'll try to post a new mixtape/playlist, each about a compact disc-length compilation. I'll leave it up about a week and then put a new one up. Here's the The Mixtape Story playlist.

All posted songs were purchased, and I have personally contacted every person who downloads them to make sure that they already own a copy of each song. All tracks are posted out as a fan, and I hope you will be a fan too. If you like anything you see here, please support the artist and buy it and see their shows. Any music that is posted here is for evaluation purposes only. If anything needs to be taken down email me and i'll make it happen.

Holy Matrimony!

All the best to my friend Nicole this weekend as she takes a leap into the nuptial pool.

All right, in English, one of my best friends is getting married this weekend. It's a small affair, mainly family, so I'll have to settle for sending my best wishes and planning an Autumn roadtrip to Ottawa to help celebrate once the dust has settled from the whole thing. The wedding itself sounded like what a lot of weddings miss out on: fun and celebration. Too many bridezillas, parental interference and 16-person wedding parties out there for my tastes. I think weddings should represent the couple getting married. If the groom has made 6 groomsmen, guess who he's spending most of his quality time with outside of the office.

Nicole went with the above cake topper, which suits her and Mr. Nicole's personalities. I sent along this suggestion for a cake-topper I found on Accordion Guy's blog:

Note: I've seen this noted topper called "Drunk Groom", but I think it should be "Reluctant Groom": note the fingernail marks he leaves in the icing. I wish there was a CSI division that deals just with cake. CSI: Entemann's. CSI: Dufflets. Mhmmmm cake.

the odd intention aka The Mixtape Story

I was out on a first date with a girl back in the spring. We stopped in at Soundscapes record shop on College St., and I was talking about all the music I liked. She wasn't familiar with many, which was fine, as her tastes tended more to the "adult contemporary" part of the radio dial. She or I, I can't recall, suggested putting together a CD of some of songs I recommended for her. I had walked right into promising someone a mixtape on a first date.

Now, I make mixtapes all the time. I use them to promote bands I like, to turn friends on to music they may not have heard but would like. Most of the bands don't get to much commercial airplay, but deserve to be heard by a larger audiene: I'm pretty sure every mix disc I ever made has at least one Spoon song on it. So to me, this was just another music sampler disc. It wasn't planned as a mixtape:

mixtape as defined by Urban Dictionary

A homemade music compilation (usually on cassette or CD-R) that contains all your favourite tracks. Often you give such a compilation to the guy or gal of your fancy in hopes that it will help you win their heart.

There's no way that girl can say no, I made her the greatest mixtape ever!

She called on her way down for the second date and said she was looking forward to listening to the CD I promised. The honest truth was I forgot until she mentioned it in the call. I picked the songs and burned it in the 30 minutes it took her to come down. I burned about 20 songs that I liked, some cool music that may have gone unnoticed on commercial radio: some Dandy Warhols, some Feist, the mandatory Spoon song.

The songs were sort of random, nothing particularly romantic, no songs with "Love" in the title or anything like that: just good music. I wasn't trying to seduce her with a mixtape, letting her know what a sensitive guy I was, like some cheese-eating emo boy. It was only a second date after all, we were still early into the "getting to know you" stage.

We were talking on MSN Messenger during the following week and she mentioned how she loved several of the songs, and how some of them spoke to her about us.

There was an "us"??? She was reading more into it than I had ever meant; if I had meant for a disc to be a "mixtape", she would have known it.

I wasn't trying to win her heart. All I had wanted was for her to stop listening to Nickleback.

the odd observation

from a date I had a few months ago:

After a kiss my date asked: "Have you only kissed women shorter than you?"

??????? i wondered what the "tell" was; must have had something to do with applied pressure. it wasn't like i rested my drink on her head or something...

the odd compliment

"My mom thinks you're nice. She said you looked at (the women at your table) with interest but not like a predator."

does bad mean good?

Me: ...and the suit that Randy got made for him is supposed to be great.

Friend: I thought he didn't like it.

Me: What gave you that idea?

Friend: His MSN Messenger signature said the suit was "ill".

The Urban Dictionary definition of "ill"

This could make top five musical crimes perpetuated by Broadway

I love the book and movie for Nick Hornby's book High Fidelity so much, but the thought of a High Fidelity musical, with original tunes raeplacing the soundtrack that was so necessary for that book and film, makes me vomit in my mouth a little.

My Top 5 John Cusack Movies:

1. High Fidelity: a main character who is an asshole, and freely admits it. I thought Rob was a pretty realistic character: a guy could identify with the recognizable record crate full of male neurosis and insecurities. One of the few book-to-movie translations that worked for me. Plus a killer soundtrack.


2. Say Anything - the ultimate date movie, so much so that most of the women I know think this should be number 1 on the list. Gives hope to every guy that they can date outside of their league. That "holding the boombox outside her window" scene is a classic. Writer-director Cameron Crowe was at his best with Cusack, so maybe they should collaborate again. Piven points*

3. Grosse Pointe Blank - another killer soundtrack, a fun off-beat movie that plays a lot better than the basic concept "hitman goes to his ten-year high school reunion". I loved the chemistry between Minnie Driver and John Cusack, and extra Piven points ("Ten! Years!") Rumours of a sequel have floated about for ages.

4. The Grifters - one of my favourite dramatic performances, John is a con artist, who gets entangled in a battle of with his mother and his girlfriend, who are also both con artists or grifters. Definitely not played for laughs. You can taste the desperation in this character based film, and it taste like copper pennies.

5. One Crazy Summer - a sentimental favourite. It's a goofy, lightweight "how I spent the summer" teen comedy. I remember it as the movie that made my laugh out loud during one of my first trips to visit my mom after my parent's divorce. It gave me laughs, I give it loyalty in return. The finale of the centers around a regatta in which the everyman teens must beat the rich snobs at the yacht club. A young Demi Moore as the love interest and a return of Curtis "Booger" Armstrong as Cusack's best friend (the two were great in Better Off Dead, which would be #6 on this list). Was Curtis Armstrong used only whenever Jeremy Piven isn't available? Nope, cause Piven's in this one too.

*Just how many movies have John Cusack and Jeremy Piven appeared in together?

One Crazy Summer (1986)
Say Anything (1989)
The Grifters (1990)
Bob Roberts (1992)
The Player (1992)
Gross Pointe Blank (1997)
Serendipity (2001)
Runaway Jury (2003)

Was Piven sick or just booked up when High Fidelity was made?

A close second are the Tim Robbins/John Cusack collaborations:

The Sure Thing (1985)
Tapeheads (1988)
Bob Roberts (1992) (Cusack/Piven/Robbins) trifecta
The Player (1992) (Cusack/Piven/Robbins) trifecta
Cradle Will Rock (1999) (Robbins directing Cusack)
High Fidelity (2000)

'Idol' singer Clay Aiken may serve Bush

I don't know what it is, but the headline on this article on the CTV site made me laugh in an out of context, "not that there's anything wrong with that" type of way. Then I read further and find President Bush has a committee for the purpose of helping people like, well, George Bush:

'Idol' singer Clay Aiken may serve Bush

Clay Aiken is in line to be named to the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities, the White House said Wednesday. more...

Why can't Ben Affleck be this funny in movies?

This is one of the weirder videos I've seen. It's a clip of Ben Affleck being interviewed a few years ago by a Montreal reporter named Anne-Marie Losique. I should say attempts to interview, as he proceeds to flirt and pawing the reporter as she has a giggle fit and doesn't really attempt to get the interview back on track. Looked like foreplay a little bit. Not the classiest display: I don't think Ben's drunk (he realizes he goes over the line as he makes a Cerebral Palsy joke), just being a goofy jackass and flirty in a bad French accent. Tres professional on Ms. Losique's part. Brian Linehan would never act like that. Mind you, Ben is less likely to paw at Brian Linehan.

Massive Attack Out, BSS Returns to The Island

The UK band Massive Attack, slated to headline the Virgin Music festival in Toronto this Sunday, have had to pull out of the show, citing Visa problems. When I heard they cancelled I just assumed they heard their biggest fan in the world Nicole couldn't make it, on account of the whole getting married in a week thing.

Broken Social Scene have been added to the V-Fest line-up in their place. Broken Social Scene look to be finishing up a great summer of festival shows. Their performance at the Lollapalooza festival in Chicago was a highlight of the event.

From Toronto Star.com:
The snag has forced the band to cancel the first four dates on the North American tour, including Toronto, Montreal, Detroit and Chicago. The cancelled stops will be rescheduled at a later date.

People who purchased tickets to the weekend event with the expectation of seeing Massive Attack can get a full refund at the point of purchase until noon on Sunday, organizers said.

Broken Social Scene will fill the Sunday time slot of 9:45 p.m., said Rebecca Teal, a spokeswoman for V Fest promoters Emerge Entertainment.

"This was out of our control," she said. "Obviously, it was a blow, but replacing Massive Attack with Broken Social Scene is pretty huge," Teal said. "They’re a fantastic band."

The addition of Broken Social Scene is a coup for the local outfit, which will probably play in front of the biggest crowd of its career.

The weather should smile favourably on the V Fest this weekend, as sunny skies and temperatures expected to hit a high of 25C on Saturday and 17C on Sunday.

Tickets, available at Ticketmaster and are $57.50 for a one-day pass and $104.50 or a weekend pass. Included in the price is the $7 ferry trip.

Concertgoers can visit the Star's special V-Fest section for set times and the full lineup.

How stupid is a hedgehog?

There's was apparently a rampant increase in the hedgehog mortality rate due to the McDonald's McFlurrys, those tasty ice-cream and candy concoctions that are served in a large cup. It seems hedgehogs in England have been sticking their heads into littered cups with leftover ice-cream. They get their heads stuck and can't extracate themselves, ending up ironically straving to death. After pressure from British Hedgehog Preservation Society (sounds like a group from a Monty Python skit), McDonald's has redesigned the McFlurry container so that hedgehogs will no longer be endangered by their own unceasing hunger for frozen dairy products.

Good for the hedgehogs, but if they were being outsmarted by McFlurry cups, maybe that was just natural selection culling the herd...

Hedgehogs have finally humbled burger giant McDonald's after years of campaigning, forcing the company to redesign its killer McFlurry ice-cream containers.

Up to now the opening in the container has been large enough for hedgehogs to get their heads into for a lick of the left-over dessert -- a trap they have then been unable to withdraw from, so dying of starvation in untold numbers.

But from September 1, the wide-mouthed opening in the lid of the McFlurry containers will be reduced in size, making them too small for the sugar-loving animals to get their heads into.

everyone should know a bumblebee girl

Happy Birthday to my longtime friend Stephanie! You've always shown your genuine appreciation for everything I've ever given you: friendship, laughs, mixtapes, and an introduction to the man who became your husband. I keep telling you, he feeds you, keep him around. You've always given alot in return unasked: friendship, laughs, perspective, time.

Today I give you a favourite song and best wishes on your birthday.

Blind Melon - "No Rain"

OK Go to Rock the Treadmills at VMAs

I tend to watch the MTV Video Music Awards the same way I watch the Emmys: tape/PVR it and scan for highlights. One highlight in the making was just announced as OK Go will be rocking the treadmills with a live performance on Thursday's show. They've been having a good month: their video for Here It Goes Again has become a phenomena: it's been viewed time over 4 million(!) times on YouTube, and has recieved mainstream coverage in the media and appearances on The Colbert Report and Letterman. Congratulations guys!

One of my favourite highlights of past MTV Video Awards is this performance by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs of the song "Maps" back in 2004.

Pepperpot: August 18th, the most 18thiest day ever.

Haley Joel Osment, 18, faces up to six months in jail if convicted on the charges that arose after a car crash in suburban Los Angeles on July 20.

Keeping in the long time Hollywood tradition of former child stars falling from grace, which I've dubbed Pulling a Corey, actor Haley Joel Osment (The Sixth Sense, Forest Gump) is facing charges of drunk driving and possession of pot as a result of a car accident last month. This must be what happens when Mel Gibson is your scout troop leader.

Get these mother#$&%ing critics off my mother#$&%ing plane!

This is the weekend when Snakes on a Plane finally debuts. While we have to wait and see what the results of all the months of internet hype has any affect on box office numbers, critics will have to wait even longer to see the movie. The studio denied critics the opportunity to screen the movie, which means there are no reciews available opening day. Seems like a bonehead move, as I think most critics would have gone with the spirit of the movie and looked at is as a "good" bad movie, and at heart most movie critics are film geeks, like the ones who have been hyping the movie for months.

Wolverine vs. Superman

X-Men 3 was a below-par sequel that did big box office. Superman Returns wasn't the outright blockbuster Warner Brothers Studio hoped for. The Hollywood Reporter has an in-depth analysis of the fates of both films and how they affect the future developments for their respective studios. Bryan Singer, who directed the first two X-Men films (the good ones) and did Superman Returns said he is perfectly willing to do another X-Men film to "fix" the franchise.

BTW The sequel to Hellboy, one of my favourite comic book movies of the past few years, is still up in the air. The first one did decent business but the sequel hasn't been greenlit said the director of the first film Guillermo del Toro, despite a script being written.

And your fun timewaster of the day: The Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" Generator.

Oscar the Grouch must work in Northwest's HR

Northwest Airlines must have a big set of balls on them. As part of preparing an expected wave of layoffs, the airline distributed a booklet on how workers could prepare for hard financial times, including the suggestion that workers can take "a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods." It also says they should not be "shy about pulling something you like out of the trash." If I worked for Northwest I'd arrange for about 100 dumpsters to be dropped on the lawn of whoever came up with this shining example of corporate sensitivity. Nice to know the airlines are prepared to their workers like their customers: like crap.

Also among the tips: No. 48: Move to a less expensive place to live; and No. 59: Never grocery shop hungry.

Northwest Airlines, which has slashed wages and jobs and is looking to lay off more workers as it exits bankruptcy, has apologized for distributing a booklet of money-savings tips for workers that includes advice that they go dumpster-diving.

The fifth-largest U.S. carrier put the tips in a booklet handed out to about 50 workers and posted for a time on its employee Web site. The booklet was part of a 150-page packet to ground workers, such as baggage handlers, whose jobs will likely be cut after their union agreed to allow the airline to outsource some of their work.

The word "Stars" is thrown about rather loosely

The latest installment of ABC's Dancing With The Stars is back in September, and take a look at the cheese filled list of "celebrities". It's 1992 all over again:

TUCKER CARLSON – MSNBC news anchor -- and often controversial -- conservative political TV pundit and columnist. Wonder if Jon Stewart may cover this on The Daily Show.
MONIQUE COLEMAN – Actress and teen idol from Disney Channel’s smash hit “High School Musical.”
SARA EVANS – Country Music Award-winning and top-selling singing sensation. Who?
WILLA FORD – Singing sensation and self-professed “bad girl of pop.” The Lee Aaron of her time.
VIVICA A. FOX – Stunning film and television actress/producer who has starred in several major blockbusters including “Kill Bill” and “Independence Day.” What happenned to her career???
HARRY HAMLIN – Film and TV star of the hit, award-winning drama series “L.A. Law” and husband of “Dancing with the Stars” alumna Lisa Rinna. 'cause when you can't get Corbin Bernsen, gotta get Harry. Seriously, what else was he doing?
JOE (not Joey?) LAWRENCE – Actor and former teen heartthrob. Whoa.
MARIO LOPEZ – Actor form Saved By The Bell. Suppose Jessie Spano could drop by and show him some moves? I just can't picture Slater throwing the jazzhands.
SHANNA MOAKLER – National beauty queen, actress, model and reality television star.
EMMITT SMITH – An NFL legend and three-time Super Bowl champion who holds the world’s all-time leading rushing record and is considered one of the greatest football players to ever play the game.
JERRY SPRINGER – Notorious TV talk show host. Amongst all the cheese, this one surprises me.

So there you go, try to pick out which parts of your brain watching this show will kill and giver.

source:KnoxNews | Tele-buddy's Tinseltown Tales

A is for Airplane, Arrests, and AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

The latest threat to airline travel are liquid explosives. The Brits have foiled a major plot to detonate several US bound flights during the height of tourist season as folks fly back and forth as they end vacations and prepare to start school or work. Major restricitions are in place for what you can and can't take on board. Speculation is that we could even see the end of carry-on luggage, a small price to pay for safety. Now would not be a good time to invest in the portable toiletries industry. Pretty much all I'd consider lately is bringing a book onboard and my documents, that's about it. I don't know if they'll continue allowing electronics like laptops, MP3 players or cell phones on board. The latest on what is allowed on board can be found on the Toronto Star site: Canadian travellers also face new restrictions. Stupid comment of the day was a woman who had to do without bringing a makeup bag on the plane: "I won't even have lipstick to reapply...going without my make-up bag is scary". Dumbass. Not being allowed to bring make-up is an inconvenience. An 8 hour flight with no fresh deodorant is an inconvenience. Potentially exploding midflight is scary.

The disturbing bit was how haphazard the "don't permit any liquids on board" directive was handled on site, as this post on Boing Boing wonders if the liquid could be explosive, why are you dumping it in a crowd?

I think we only have one solution left to ensure safe air travel: Naked Airlines.

Flyers will disrobe preflight and go on board totally nude. Maybe the lights could be out, glowsticks and carpet lights only. First class would have to be restircted to boob jobs, pec implants and tummy tucks. Maybe not totally nude, we could have everyone fly in those disposable hospital gowns.

For the latest news, check out:

BBC World News
http://www.slate.com/id/2147492/nav/tap1/
The Explainer on Slate.com asks Can You Drink Explosives? like those Daffy Duck cartoons where he drinks Nitro Glycerine.