voices in your head

I've been chatting with a friend after she saw the Stranger Than Fiction trailer, and we got to talking about inner monologues.

Tell me about your inner monologue:

• Is it a type of voice, male or female?
  
  
• Does it just go "la-la-la I'm so pretty" all day?
  
  
• Does it have an accent?
  
  
• Does it sound like an actor?
  
  
• Does your voice sound like Samuel L Jackson somedays: "I want these mutha#*@$ing TPS reports off my mutha#*@$ing desk right now! And where's my mutha#*@$ing coffee?"
• If it sounds like Zach Braff, then you probably watch a lot of Scrubs.
  
  
• Does it sound like Marvin the Paranoid Android? (seek help)
  
  
• Does it sound like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex In the City? (seek help and a Cosmo)
  
  
• Does it sound like a musical? (seek funding)
  
  
• Does it encourage you, criticize you?
  
  
• Or do you just hear a song or theme music all day?

My inner monologue sometimes slips outside: I ask whether that was my inside or outside voice. "I can't believe I have to spend time with this idiot .... oh, was that my outside voice?"

I think my inner monologue changes narrators a bit. Someday's it's Tom Waits (eccentric and gravelly). Sometime's it sounds like Ian McKellan, but lately I get a lot of Ian McShane/Al Swearengen from Deadwood. I think I'd go batty if it sounded like Dennis Miller or Ray Romano.

My friend on the other hand has a chatty monologue, who can go from demure to lunatic in a minute, and "curses more than an entire platoon of military boys". Which sounds like Helena Bonham Carter in the movie Fight Club.

Who's in your head?