La Birthday Girl Nikita

Happy Birthday to Nicole, one of my oldest friends!

Even though we haven't seen each other in a while, she still manages to crack me up without trying. For example, this line in a recent email:

"...all I seem to do is go to kickboxing and plan the wedding."

Amused me all day, picturing a kickboxing bride, roundhouse and a veil. I think that would come in handy with the wedding planning and all. Wedding Planning: The Chuck Norris way.

Caterer: And we will be charging you this much for the crab puffs.
Kickboxing Bride: KYAIIIIII!!!
Caterer: We can bring that down a bit.

One of the things I remember we had in common was both being fans of Robert Fulghum while we were in high school. Robert Fulghum is a writer, best known for All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. His stories tended to provide a sense of optimism and about seeing things in a different light, something I still carry with me to this day.

So for my friend, here is Robert Fulghum's website with new stories posted to it. Enjoy!

PS So jealous you are spending your birthday in Montreal and going to the New Pornographers concert.

Robert Fulghum, OFFICIAL Website, see NEW stories!

Gingerbread Gold Medalists

Congratulations to the Canadian Women's Hockey Team on their gold medal win at the 2006 Olympics. Pictured here is the gingerbread version of a gold medal member of the team. I would have taken a picture of the cookie version of the Canadian Men's Hockey team, but like their real life counterparts, they crumbled.

Cookies from The Queen of Tarts
Photo by the2scoops

Comic Book Writer Cleans Up Own Mess

Comic book fans are a notoriously finicky, picky lot, especially when it comes to continuity. A recent storyline in Spider-Man saw a character have her arm broken at a highly dramatic moment in one issue, and appear fine and healthy in the next issue. Of course, comic fans spotted the gaffe, took to the forums and chatrooms to discuss A) plausible explanations B) editorial sloppiness and C) how this could lead to the end of Western civilization. Typical post: "The MJ arm fix... That's just sloppy, sloppy editing. Man, that's just lazy..." This type of error can happen when you have the same storyline passed between multiple writers and/or artists.

Writer J. Michael Straczynski thought he’d have a little fun in a recent issue of Amazing Spider-Man. A discussion between Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Tony Stark (Iron Man) explains away this continuity error, while having fun with the readers. The fourth wall between character and reader blinks off and on for a second with all the timing of a sitcom. Hah!

Click image for larger (readable) image, good for a laugh.

Henry Rollins Is A Threat Because He Reads

Henry Rollins is a musician, storyteller, actor, and an all around cool guy. Henry Rollins is one of my favourite people and I look forward to his spoken-word tours whenever he comes to town. Henry is smart, outspoken, and likes to stay well informed. Henry Rollins hates weakness and ignorance. And Henry Rollins isn't shy.

So it was pretty ignorant and weak when someone seated next to Henry Rollins on an Australia-bound flight noticed he was reading a copy of Wall Street Journal correspondent Ahmed Rashid's book "Jihad: The Rise of Militant Islam in Central Asia", and after the flight reported him to Australia's version of Department of Homeland Security, who are now investigating him.

"The guy phoned me in to their, like, anti-terrorist board, and they found me - they looked me up," he said. "They looked up the flight and found out who was sitting in seat 10A and they got to me. And they said, 'OK, you're now a person of interest. The man next to you does not agree with your politics and he didn't like the book you were reading.' This kind of provocation, I don't respond very well to. I was furious. And so I wrote back, 'You can tell everyone at your office, including your boss, to go f--- themselves. This book has been read by a ton of people -— I am not a threat to your state or any state or any republic. Baghdad's safer than my hometown and your PM is a sissy.'

The part that really gets him is the passenger didn't have the guts to call him on the book on the flight. Anyone who has listened to Henry Rollins speak knows he isn't shy about confrontation and Henry Rollins is one of the last people I would want mad at me as he is smart, muscular and has free time. The last thing anyone would want is to answer a knock at the door and find a stoked and pissed off Henry Rollins.

"Days later I received an e-mail from a woman who I guess figured out who I was and found me. I had been named a "person of interest."’ Basically, they get calls like this every five minutes, and I'’m probably on the '‘who cares'’ list, in that they'll probably let me into the country again. But the fact that this guy could be that ignorant and call me in on this for a book . . . I was angry. Because of the fact that the guy wouldn'’t confront me. I like confrontation. If I'’ve offended you, let me know. Don'’t call it in and not leave your name. I just think it's pretty weak.

"He didn't even leave his name and address [when he called], and that, to me, is pretty cowardly. The next time I get out to Australia -— that is, if they let me in - I am going to talk about that guy in every interview I do. And it will get to him. It's a small country, in that there aren't a lot of people there and most of the country's just sand and flies. So it will get to him.

Gee, at least it wasn't The Qur'an or Rollins would have been dragged from his bed and tasered. You can be confident that this will be brought up by Rollins on either his new show or on his spoken word tour. The new show "The Henry Rollins Show" premieres in April on the IFC network. No word on any Canadian stations showing it.


HENRY ROLLINS.com

The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century :: Joey deVilla's Weblog :: Henry Rollins' "William Shatner" Story

Henry Rollins telling a funny-ass story of how he ended up working on William Shatner's album, about 25 minutes: Rollins Shatner Anecdote.mp3

Henry Rollins - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Henry Rollins Show

Henry Rollins is Not an Islamist at Yeeeah!

mtv.com - News - Rollins Angry About Terror Accusation, Stoked About Talk Show

Trailer Park Boys cookie-fied at The Queen of Tarts

The Queen of Tarts is a local pastry shop in the Roncesvalles neighbourhood of Toronto with a stellar reputation for tarts, cookies and tasty nibbly bits. One of their specialties are handmade gingerbread people, done up as characters and celebrities. I popped in Sunday to find a whole set of Trailer Park Boys, complete with icing mullets and a rum and coke in Julian's hand. I love the expression on Gingerbread Bubbles, I can just hear him say "Not my @!#'n gumdrop buttons!"

Chomp on a cookie-devil, give a loved one a Gingerbread Don Cherry or bring a Gingerbread Martha Stewart as a host/hostess gift at the next party. The bride and groom cookies make creative bonbonieres. Check out here for a selection of cookies and drop in at the shop to see rotating celebs. Past ones have included a Michael Jackson with chimp and baby, and a set of the women from Sex In The City.

The Queen of Tarts website
The Queen of Tarts Gingerbread cookies

The Queen of Tarts
283 Roncesvalles Ave,
Toronto, Ontario
M6R 2M3

1 866.389.Tart (8278)
416. 651. 3009
Tues to Fri 10am - 7pm
Sat 9am - 6pm
Sun 12pm - 5pm
Closed Mondays

Zach Braff Denies Engagement, But I Think The Thing With The Cereal Is True.

Zach Braff (Garden State, Scrubs) has a new post up on his blog, where he denies the rumours that he is enganged to girlfriend Mandy Moore. No hissyfit, no publicist, just drops a line to keep us up to date. Nice.
Garden State - Zach Braff Blog

Rumor Patrol:

I am not engaged. But I am dating a very lovely lady. (read rags for fun if you must, but please don't believe what you read)

I am not part tiger. (one photographer got a shot of my tail and things got blown out of proportion.)

I do love Life Cereal. (this one's true. Man it's good; either flavor.)

I am going to be Vesper Lind (the new Bond love interest). After the success of certain films this year, they have decided to "shake things up" this time around. And so Bond will be gay. I play Vesper Lind, a German spy who loves trip-hop and raves. I assassinate my victims by forcing them to drink the fluid inside of glow-sticks. James and I meet when our hands accidentally touch during a "Licensed to Kill" seminar in Dusseldorf. We were both reaching for an "Ain't Misbehavin" CD that kills an enemy after he/she listens to the Act One curtain closer. Not very effective as a means of assassination since the target would have to make it through some really mediocre numbers in the first act, and like I said, it only works on "he/she's" which aren't very common in the spy business outside of Thailand. Can't say much more it's all very hush-hush...

I've been enjoying the latest season of Scrubs. NBC didn't bother scheduling them until the winter, so the cast and crew of the show used the time to get even wierder, funnier and more surreal (surrealier ain't a word). Give it a shot when it comes back after the Winter Olympics. And to tide yourself over, check out the DVD sets for Seasons One and Two. You can see the actors and writers start to develop the chracters over the span of the first two seasons. The extras and commentaries are excellent and rewarding: little inside jokes in Season 5 start to creep up ("Colonel Doctor"). I'll post a longer review of the show this week.

ouch

Sorry for the lack of new posts. My back went a bit wonky last night. I took a couple of pills for backpain and I just woke from 12 hour drug coma (thank you Shopper's Drug Mart). I'll update my posts this evening.

Teeth on the Dial - 70s, Ratings, Barney, G'Kar and Bye-bye Scotsman

• That 70's Show is ending its series with an episode set on New Year's Eve 1980. No word on whether departed stars Topher Grace & Ashton Kutcher will make appearances. The show almost lasted longer than the real 70s, I thought they'd never come out of that basement. Bring on the cocaine and the Flock of Seagulls hairdos. Even Those 70's Kids Should Have Seen It Coming - New York Times

• People would rather watch a singing competition that happens every 4 months rather than a sports competition that takes place every 4 years. 'Idol' Trounces Olympics in Ratings War - Yahoo! News

• Just in time for Valentine's Day, on the blog of the character Barney from "How I Met Your Mother": WHEN SHOULD YOU WEAR JEANS TO A STRIP CLUB... NEVER!

• For those readers (I know you're there) who are fans of Babylon 5, the actor who played Ambassador G'Kar, Andreas Katsulas passed away this week after a battle with lung cancer. He was only 59 and was a lifelong smoker until his diagnosis. B5 creator J. Michael Straczynski shares his thoughts: JMSNews
  Link provided by: Various and Sundry - JMS on Andreas Katsulas

• Remember those abrasive Alexander Keith ads with the angry Scotsman? Yeah, you'll never see them again. The actor who plays the Scotsman is facing some very serious charges. CBC News: Actor in beer ads faces child porn charges

Work or Prison - Where are you least likely to get screwed over?

Found this is an old file, can't remember what site it came from, but enjoy:

PRISON = WORK / WORK = PRISON

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer...

IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON you get three meals a day.
AT WORK you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON you get your own toilet.
AT WORK you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK you aren't even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK they are called managers.

Joss Whedon vs Warren Ellis in hyperbolic battle that could tear internet in half

Warren Ellis, writer of comic books and other good things, posted a note about the upcoming San Diego Comic Con, aka Nerd Prom. And then Joss Whedon added his two cents in the comment section. And then Warren replied. It was, as they say, "on". I may put up the transcript later. It's all in good fun, though it devolves into not-so family friendly. And poor John Cassady, who draws Ellis's Planetary and Whedon's Astonishing X-Men caught in the middle, while giving a new context to "Say my name!" when he's dragged into the war of words.

Joss vs Warren takes place throughout the comment section of the first link.

Warrenellis.com - The Long March To Nerd Prom Begins

Warrenellis.com - Joss Whedon Schools Me In The Way Of The Nerd

"For You, I Could Even Learn To Love Sand" - My Funny Valentine

Photoshop programs + Valentine's Day = Big Time Funny

Shake up this big old fake of a holiday with some funny Valentine's Day cards. The crew at Something Awful have posted a number of Star Wars themed Valentine's Day cards. Click the link here and flip through. The corny punchlines remind me of those packs of cards I used to buy in grade school.