Failed Franchises, or "The Things Sean Connery Will Do For Money"

Just one look at this summer's film releases tells you that franchises are big. Almost all the big blockbusters of the summer are sequels to established franchises: Shrek 3; Die Harder; Spider-Man 3;Pirates of the Carribbean 3; Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix; Bourne Ultimatum;Snakes on a Plane 2: Electric Boogalloo (OK maybe not that one).

A successful franchise can make loads of money (Lord of The Ring, Star Wars) and find cross-promotional success in spin-offs, books, comics, video games, theme park rides. With that much money on the line, a movie studio is willing to make the gamble on the next Indiana Jones. But some of those potential franchises end up stalled and dead in the water if the initial film doesn't succeed. A number of failures can be chalked up to the movie being conceptualized as a marketing campaign first and the actual film with a plot and story being secondary.

The Onion A.V. Club covers 13 Failed Attempts To Start Film Franchises, with a list of movies that make you wonder what could have been ("The Rocketeer" and "Buckaroo Banzai"), some that make you wonder what the hell they were thinking ("The Avengers") and some that ended in litigation ("Sahara"). Failed franchises can kill the potential for new installments and end careers (Billy "The Phantom" Zane, where did you go?).

A rarity is the failed franchise that gets a second chance, such as "The Hulk". The first movie didn't break the bank at the boxoffice, but the potential Marvel Comics sees in one of its marquee characters is enough to justify a "re-do". That's a similar justification why we will likely see another "Superman" movie, despite the fact it didn't meet expectations.

Some other magnificent failures that didn't make the list:

Van Helsing. Oy, what a cluster$(*k. It looked good on paper: take "The Mummy" series, use different Universal Studios monsters like Dracula and Wolfman, make loads of spin-offs and sequels, collect the money. Instead, audiences laughed in all the wrong places, didn't buy the story, and the franchise was dead in the water. Another example of "Marketing" priorities being established before "Let's Make a Movie".

Sean Connery, Franchise Killer. Everyone likes him, he headlined a successful franchise as the favourite James Bond (although Daniel Craig appears to be nipping at his heels), so why not get him on screen. In addition to the afore-mentioned "The Avengers" (You're a villain in a bear suit? Really?), I cite "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" as a time where a studio hoped that his star-power would distract from the poorly executed plot. He's a Franchise Killer. Imagine if he did end up as "Gandalf" in the "Lord of the Rings"? He was offered the role, but turned it down on account of he had no idea what the hell it was about.

Also:
V.I. Warshawski, based on a successful book series about a woman detective, starring Kathleen Turner.
Hudson Hawk: Bruce Willis is lucky his career didn't go down with this bomb.
Leonard Part 6: a film so bad that star Bill Cosby bought the TV rights, insuring it would never be re-broadcast again.
Lost in Space: William Hurt admitted he did it for the paycheque.
Pluto Nash. Oh Eddie Murphy. Once so good in "Trading Places" and "Coming To America"

Any other wasted franchise potential? Comments are open.

Teeth on The Dial: Stuff. TV stuff

"Robot Chicken: Star Wars," a 30-minute stop-motion animation special for Adult Swim, will reunite George Lucas and Mark Hamill in a spoof of the Star Wars franchise. The series, which has previously skewered the show brilliantly. is producing the special in collaboration with Lucasfilm. The show airs June 17th. The special also features voicework from the likes of Conan O'Brien, Robert Smigel, Malcolm McDowell, Hulk Hogan and Joey Fatone.

The show that wouldn't die, "Studio 60", is coming back -- the day after May sweeps. Episodes will be shown in E.R.'s Thursday timeslot.

It's TV-Turnoff Week! Too bad it happened the week Heroes came back.

The latest season of Doctor Who (season 3) will air on CBC this summer. The series is currently airing in the U.K. The show will likely air after hockey finishes, with the darker Who spin-off Torchwood to follow in Fall 2007

"Ugly Betty" forced to do "Traveling Pants" sequel. Since originally cast in the "Sisters of The Travelling Pants, America Ferrerra has found fame in this season's hottest TV show. I suspect the producers are taking advantage of the fact that she's contractually obligated to do a sequel, which gets them name recognition.

No word on renewals yet for "Veronica Mars", "Scrubs", or "How I Met Your Mother" (really?). It looks like "Gilmore Girls" will be back for an abbreviated final season, maybe 16 episodes.

It looks like "Drive" is roadkill. Fox crams 3 hours of a premiere, plus one new episode and they yank it. Why does producer Tim Minnear keep going back to Fox after what happened with "Wonderfalls", "Firefly", "The Inside"? Bloody sadist. Here's a short refresher of "Could Have Been Great But Cancelled By Fox" shows, which typically had high acclaim, low ratings, poor promotion, and a small but loyal fanbase: Firefly, Sliders, Space: Above and Beyond, Dark Angel, Tru Calling, Fastlane, Wonderfalls, Reunion, Arrested Development, Family Guy, Futurama, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, and Action. Updated: how could I forget the screw job Fox did on Undeclared. Did I also forget to mention Fox's tendency to air episodes out of order?

Another "Brilliant But Cancelled By Fox" shows is coming to DVD: all 13 episodes of Fox's "Kitchen Confidential" are coming to DVD, with extras, on May 22.

Planet of Sound: Looking forward to some upcoming albums

The first quarter of the year saw solid albums released by The Shins. Modest Mouse, Bloc Party. Amy Winehouse, LCD Soundsystem, and Arcade Fire. Still to come this year:

• Feist - The Reminder May 1
• Dinosaur Jr - Beyond May 1
• Wilco - Sky Blue Sky is out May 15
• ex-Cranberries singer Dolores O'Riordan has a solo debut Are You Listening? May 15
• Interpol - Our Love To Admire July 10
• Spoon Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga July 10
• The New Pornographers - Challenger August 21
• The Weakerthans next album due out in October
• Metric, release of long-lost debut album Grow Up And Blow Away in June and work on their next album, due out in Spring of 2008.

Source: mostly Frank at Chromewaves. Any other additions, add it in the comments.

Last Gig for +nurse @ The Gladstone May 11th

Come out for what promises to be a helluva farewell show for the band +nurse. My blogging comrade Tim is calling it a day in the music biz, so let's make it a good one!

Talk With Me, Dance With Me

Sorry all, I am very busy this week with work courses. More on that later, but in the meantime here's a stack of amusing video links that should keep you non-productive for a few hours:

Here's The "What's Alan Watching" Classic TV Dance Marathon

• "Scrubs": "West Side Story"

• Taye, Downey and MacNicol getting funky to Barry White on "Ally McBeal". Completely slipped my mind Taye Diggs and Robert Downey Jr were on "Ally McBeal". Suppose someone would have had to have been watching it in that last season or two to notice (Dead Billy? What the hell was that!?)
  

• What Alan judges as perhaps the finest moment of David Schwimmer's career.

• Only one line needed: "Sweet fancy Moses!"

• Chicken dance fever from "Arrested Development"

• Dance lessons from "Everybody Loves Raymond", one of those sitcoms I never watched when it was first one, but find amusing in the odd rerun. If only TBS ran that show 45 times a day...

• And Alan (and my) absolute favorite YouTube clip of all time: Turk from "Scrubs" shows us never trust a girl with a big butt and a smile.

Exercise may kill me

Here's our Silly Jason story for the day.

I accidentally took a step class yesterday.

Goodlife was holding a group exercise extravaganza, where they group 3 condensed classes together, show some new moves. I figured it's a good chance to incorporate a class into my gym routine, so I thought I was taking part in a "sampler-pack" beginners type of thing. What better way to attempt my first group exercise class. Ever. I mean, ever: to get cover the gym requirement for my high school diploma, I took racquet sports (any one for badminton?)

What I failed to realize is that I could have come in later for the section of the class I was interested in, not necessarily stick around for the whole thing 90 minutes.

The first 30 minutes was Step Class. I did not know that was part of the deal.

Let the comedy commence:

First Thought: Uh-oh, I'm the only guy in here.

Second Thought: Hey, I'm the only guy in here!

Third Thought: I’ve climbed stairs before, this should be a piece of cake.

Fourth Thought: Left, right, spin, lift.... um, this is going to take some coordination.

Fifth Thought: What was that she yelled, double time quick march?

Final thought: ow ow ow fricking ow

It was not pretty.

I stuck it out all the way through, while trying not to notice how I looked "stepping" in the mirror of the fitness studio. I am not a graceful man. I mean, I wasn't expecting to move like Muhammed Ali, but damn. And as a man, apparently I also don't follow directions well. At least not at full speed. I'm not sure this bodes well for salsa night.

After 30 minutes, the next class began, the one I was interested in:

"Body Pump is a barbell-training class designed to give you maximum results in
the shortest amount of time. Low on complexity, but high on fun"

Low complexity? Sounds right up my alley.

I made it through that stage of the class, burning through that necessary evil of workouts, the squat. You use a barbell with low weights and deliberate movement to achieve your results, pretty straight forward. I'm probably going to go back again.

But feeling good about that led to me getting cocky and sticking around for Body Combat:

BODYCOMBAT is the empowering cardio workout that totally unleashes your energy. This program is inspired by the martial arts and draws from a wide array of disciplines such as karate, boxing, taekwondo, tai chi and muay thai.

Uh-oh. Again.

Um, I apparently don't know how to roundhouse kick. Imagine a drunken mule trying to ballet dance, and that was how I pictured myself. One full kick and I pulled a calf muscle.

I stuck it out for the rest of the session, doing the punches and the the cardio stuff: running on the spot, jumping jacks, etc.

Conclusions:

I will definitely try the Body Pump again, maybe once or twice a week. And step class is definitely not for me. The class were a great change of pace, but I am glad I worked out for a few weeks before attempting one cold. The instructors were accommodating and gave me some pointers for next time. Hey, attractive fitness instructors dig effort, right?*

The next thing I want to do is figure out a way to improve my coordination. I now recall that was the main hurdle in gym classes. Well, that and actual hurdles. #(*%ing high jump.

Any suggestions at improving coordination and balance? The only things that came to mind are a dance class or boxing.

*Fitness instructors are in a generally higher level of the dating hierarchy. Also included: attractive bartenders and Mac Cosmetic staff.

Software vs Man

Following a comment a friend made the other day that she thinks it makes more sense to marry software than a man, I thought I would take a survey and come up with the pro and con arguments:

Software Better Than Men Pros (thanks for the input Nikita):

• Will respond to input
• Can be debugged
• Can be upgraded to a better version
• Will not be obsessed with sports or anything else unless you program it that way
• Can follow directions
• Comes with a manual and help commands
• Only need to be reminded once about anniversaries and birthdays

Some Areas Where Software Falls Short (thanks me):

• Software won't notice how nice you look in those shoes
• Software doesn't dance
• Software won't pick up the dry cleaning
• Software may recommend a good movie, but never springs for popcorn
• Software doesn't know massage
• And I have yet to find software that makes a good martini. They always add too much vermouth.
  

We'll leave out the obvious "physical" shortcomings of software. That's more of a hardware issue and frankly, a little harder for us to argue against.

Pepperpot: Ed Norton Hulks out and more

WKRP DVD set soars like a turkey.
Ah helldamncrap. Looks like my excitement about the DVD set for WKRP coming out this spring has been premature. Something Old Something New received a review copy and it looks like a lot more music and even entire scenes were cut out than I presumed. It's a shame, but the copyrights on the music are prohibitively expense. I'd be curious if someone has a researched a price list for what the cost would run for a complete reproduction of the series.

Link: WKRP DVD Not OK

HULK SMASH! HULK METHOD ACT!
The semi-sequel to The Incredible Hulk is going into production, with filming to happen here in Toronto over the summer. The new movie will be more of a comic book "Hulk Smash!" action movie than Ang Lee's "art-house" Hulk film, with director Louis (Transporter 2) Leterrier. The surprise? Variety is reporting that Bruce Banner will be played by none other than actor Edward Norton. One of my favourite actors, he's an inspired choice to play a man containing a monster. He does dark and disturbed characters quite well, from Primal Fear, American History X and Fight Club. This will certainly be a welcome change from the first Hulk film. I think the legacy of the character and the potential of a franchise was enough to justify another Hulk movie, more so than the weak box office take.

Link: EDWARD NORTON SET AS BRUCE BANNER IN THE INCREDIBLE HULK

The movie Passenger 57 teaches us, based on historical precedent, to "always bet on black".
The Canadian Radio-Television Commission has ordered "CSI:NY" pulled off of the History Channel, saying that it falls outside their definition of historically relevant TV. In counter-argument, History Channel's owners, Alliance Atlantis, insists that "CSI: NY" is a history series because it is "set in a city that became synonymous with one of history’s most significant and notorious events, 9/11." Bullshit. I have been seeing some pretty flexible justifying of movies and shows shown on the History Channel. I can understand the relevance of Glory, Rob Roy, Empire of the Sun, Born on the Fourth of July, and even the Newton Boys as portraying specific times in history, but seeing films like Passenger 57 pop up on their schedule last Friday is just weak. I'd swear I saw True Lies on there a few months ago. Alliance basically has a list of movies, and works backwards to find some historical relevance for broadcasting it. I once met someone who worked for Alliance, and his assignment was to justify the historical relevance for showing Executive Decision. Yes, that hijacked plane movie with Steven Seagal and Kurt Russell.

"I Throw Myself Into The Plane Engine"

Some quotes and lines that made me laugh this week:

From last night's brilliantly funny episode of "The Office", Daryl's attempt at talking Michael down off the roof:

"It takes courage just to be you, to get out of bed every single day, knowing full well you gotta be you... I couldn't do it. I ain't that strong, and I ain't that brave."

I'm really enjoying more of the interaction between Daryl the warehouse manager and Michael. And nice to see Jim interacting more with the rest of the office in the betting storyline, something he hasn't done much of since Season 2, before his promotion.

And from Alan Sepinwall, with an accurate description of actor Nathan Fillion (Captain Mal Reynolds in"Firefly" and "Serenity") in the new show "Drive":

Tully is played by Minear's "Firefly" leading man, Nathan Fillion, sort of a taller, meaner version of Harrison Ford if Ford hadn't had his sense of humor surgically removed in 1983. If there's a reason to go along on this race to an uncertain destination, it's he.

"Drive" is the story of a group of people forced to participate in a cross-country car race, with a Cannonball Run/Amazing Race meets Lost vibe. It's looks interesting and it's from Tim Minnear (Angel, Buffy, Wonderfalls) and it's on Fox. So yes, it's probably brilliant and doomed. The 2 hour premiere is on Sunday, then it moves into Prison Break's old Monday spot.


Funniest reference to the show Lost in a comic strip this week from PvP:

Click on the picture for a readable size, or here: PvP April 11, 2007

Weirdest line of the week:

"Drop it. I have a particle wave ray gun and a bipolar disorder! I have no idea what it might do to you if I pull the trigger."

Doc Magnus, 52 issue #49
Pretty sure that came from writer Grant Morrison.

Magic 8 Ball Says Try Again Later

Random thoughts:

The grey and cold weather continues today, and damned if all I can't think about is that first day of the year when it's warm. There's that first day where the temperature crosses into 15 - 20 degrees range. I just want to grab some drinks and laughs on a patio on College or Baldwin Street in the sunshine, or grab some snacks from Kensington Market, a tetra box of wine, and go flake out on one of the Toronto Islands or High Park with a book, some magazines and my iPod. I just keep listening to Sly & The Family Stone's Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin), which is some funky bass thumping happy summertime music. What songs are keeping your spirit up until warm weather gets here?

I heard two ideas for dealing with leftover Easter chocolate. One was Bunny Fondue: melt down chocolate bunnies to make a fondue dip. The other was mentioned in conversation with Clara, melting the bunnies down into choloclate topping to spread on brownies or cakes. She referred to them as "carnage squares". Are either of these any less humane than nibbling the bunnies apart, piece by piece?

Gail Simone is a Wonder Woman

This is a post on two rarities in the comic book industry: a famous female comic book character, Wonder Woman, and a successful and fan favourite female comic book writer, Gail Simone. I'd also like to hear some thoughts from women and men in the comments, about how and why (or why not) you like Wonder Woman.

A number of friends are fans of Wonder Woman, but aren't comic book readers. So here are some recent developments on the Amazonian Warrior Princess that may get the folks to venture into a comic shop, or at least investigate the trade collections in Chapters-Indigo.

Wonder Woman has been around for years. In comic-book narratives she is considered one of the iconic "Big Three" of the DC Comic company: Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman. The basic premise is that she is a warrior princess of the female-only society of Amazons, empowered by the Greek gods of myth. She comes from to "Man's World" as an Amazonian Ambassador, and to beat down on the occasional mad scientist super-villain. She's as strong as Hercules, as quick as Mercury, has a lasso that compels anyone ensnared in it to tell the truth, has bracelets that deflect bullets, and is generally depicted as the personification of an empowered, strong women.

Wonder Woman is the most famous female super-hero, but hasn't had the mainstream or even comic-book success of Batman or Superman, who typically have 4 simultaneous series featuring them, as opposed to the single ongoing Wonder Woman title. Frankly, I think the largely male comic book buying audience considers her a "chick book", and (big secret here), guys are intimidated by strong, smart women. So there hasn't been an audience or a truly compelling take on the character for years. I've bought plenty of comics in my lifetime, but rarely have I read Wonder Woman. When I was a teenager, it's because it had that stigma of being a "chick book", and as an adult, there just wasn't anything there that appealed to me. But I like the new writer who's coming onto the series, Gail Simone, and I plan to check out her writing.

Gail Simone, the new writer on the Wonder Woman comic book series, gives her take on the character:

The book is about the best goddamned warrior planet Earth has ever known, and she happens to carry a mystical arsenal around just for the hell of it.

If a writer can’t make that interesting and fun, they really shouldn’t be writing superheroes.

There are layers upon layers of the character, and we’ll get to them all. But let’s just make it very clear that Diana is the premiere asskicker in the DCU, period.

Batman and Superman have other things that make them special. Diana is the one who occasionally carries an axe if someone gives her lip.This is actually in my first issue, but the quote is, “When a giant robot attacks Metropolis, send Superman. An alien attack? Get Green Lantern. When a car is hijacked by an escaped loony, turn on the bat signal, by all means. But if an ARMY shows up on your doorstep, that’s when you call in Wonder Woman."

Simple.

Gail Simone, in an interview with Newsarama.com

Gail gets it. That's how you sell the character. How come the movie version has been languishing in script and casting limbo for so long? Considering the success of The 300 and the Lord of The Rings movies, you think Wonder Woman would be easy enough to do: Buffy + The 300 = Wonder Woman. Strong, ass-kicking warrior woman, who is trying to adapt to being an icon to women everywhere. That's the take you go with. But there's been no movement on casting, and director Joss Whedon has left the project.

Gail's only the third woman to write Wonder Woman series in the 60+ year history of the character. It's indicative of how many women have worked in the largely male-centric comic book industry. Look at any number of comics and you have some grossly exaggerated takes on the female anatomy that make you question if the artist has ever looked at a woman. Seriously, how would someone be able to walk, let alone chuck a tank at some villain, with a body like that?
Female superheroes tend to typically be cyphers or poor stand-ins for male counterparts: Batgirl, Supergirl, Spider-Woman. The female hero was secondary to the male, and usually used as a plot device to motivate the male hero in his actions. Then you have Gail, who comes into this small title, Birds of Prey. It teamed up 2 or 3 female heroes who have never been able to sustain their own titles for long, and made this "chick book" into a kick-ass successful book about these smart, strong women. Other writers built the foundation, but Gail's run really took the book to the next level.

Gail Simone is pretty cool, outspoken, open to chatting with fans, funny as hell, and isn't afraid to call out "The Boys Club" of the comic industry occasionally. One of the most well-known instances of this is her website Women in Refrigerators, which listed the many instances in which female comic book characters were the victims of violent attacks on their womanhood (rape, miscarriage, murder) or whose attacks were used as a plot device for a male character. The notoriety of the website led to Gail being "discovered" and put her into contact with the comic book companies.

Gail is a pretty great writer, deftly weaving humour, action, and characterization into the mix. In Birds of Prey, she evolved the characters of Oracle (former Batgirl, paralyzed by a bullet from The Joker) and Black Canary (superhero and on-again off-again significant other of The Green Arrow), and made these two strong characters that didn't depend on their male counterparts/boyfriends to define them She wrote their friendship as a genuine, believable thing. The comic's industry could use a few more writers like her. Her run on Wonder Woman starts with issue 13.

Wikipedia: Wonder Woman
Wikipedia: Gail Simone

Gail Simone's blog: Bloodstains on the Looking Glass

Second choice was "We Will Rocky-Road You"...

I saw the title Queen-"flavored" ice cream is set to hit the shops. I thought it was a Queen Elizabeth flavored ice cream, not the band. I imagine a QEII ice cream would taste like gin and scones.

A Queen-"flavored" ice cream is set to hit the shops.
Made by Ben & Jerry, "Bohemian Raspberry" follows the music-themed ice creams which have included "Phish Food" inspired by the band Phish, the Grateful Dead-inspired "Cherry Garcia" and "Glastonberry" flavor.

He's not dead, he's just unstuck in time again

Kurt Vonnegut dead at 84.

So it goes.

I remember reading Slaughterhouse-Five in high school, and feeling my mind startled awake by strange concepts like becoming unstuck in time, Tralfalmadorians, the all too real Dresden firebombing and strangest of all, human nature. I think that was when the notion struck me, a notion that was articulated by another author: "It's a strange world. Let's keep it that way."

Perfectly good excuse to go re-read Slaughterhouse-Five for the third time.

I was amused to read that his literary alter-ego, Kilgore Trout, was written by Vonnegut as having died at the age of 84:

Trout "died" at midnight on October 15, 2004 in Cohoes, New York, following his consultation with a psychic, who informed him that George W. Bush would win the U. S. Presidential election by a vote of 5-to-4 in the Supreme Court. The epitaph on his tombstone reads, "Life is no way to treat an animal."

A parting lesson from Mr. Vonnegut, as quoted by Warren Ellis:

"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — 'God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.'"

Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

Good-bye Kurt, whenever you are.

Wikipedia - Kurt Vonnegut

Dance Robot, Dance!

I've been busy at work all week, and everyone is just crabbing about the weather. Here's something to make you smile. And the kicker is this isn't merely a variation on the hula-dancing pop can.

These scientist guys have designed a robot named Keepon. Keepon isn't just a toy: he was built in order "to help teach social interaction to children by modeling certain nonverbal social cues -- eye contact, awareness, excitement, curiosity". (Issac @ ALOTT5MA)

Watch the action and reaction of Keepon as he bounces with excitement or tilts his head in curiosity, and imagine it interacting with a baby. It's designed to facilitate "dance-oriented nonverbal play" with children, meaning it uses body language to show emotion or indicate attention, as shown here:


YouTube: Keepon interacts

...and the little guy has moves, as he bops out to Spoon's "I Turn My Camera On"


YouTube: Keepon Dancing to Spoon


More on this fascinating little guy, including the specs:

BeatBots: Socially Rhythmic Robots

Marek Michalowski & Hideki Kozima
with Phil Michel, Selma Sabanovic, Reid Simmons

A dancing robot for rhythmic social interaction.

This is Champ Kind with the Channel 4 Sports Report

As one chapter ends, a new one begins. Yes, it's hockey sacrilege for me to suggest that the Leafs and Canadiens were in a neck and neck race to be eliminated in the opening playoff rounds, but it was an exciting game on Thursday. Shame that the elimination by the Islanders was so anti-climatic. And as they say, there's always next year.

"I could die and never see the Leafs win the Stanley Cup. Keep that on your conscience, boys."

- Private Keegan, in the CBC documentary "The Crazy Eights", a video journal of filmmaker Gordon Henderson's time with The Royal Canadian Regiment Charles Company Eight Platoon in Afgahnistan.

A new chapter continues just outside my office door, as the Blue Jays home opener is tonight. The winning ways continue in the family as Dad managed to win a pair of tickets for tonight's game. I'll give you the scoop on how that goes, as my sports education continues. I was never a sports guy growing up, but lately I've been making an effort to learn a bit more, mainly so I know what the heck Rando and Rayzer are talking about. The education continues further this spring as I've joined the company softball team. Now all I need is an afternoon at the batting cages and one of those mitteny glove things and I'm all set.

How come there ain't no Muppets on the wall?

A funny take on Spike Lee's classic "Do The Right Thing", acted with the Fisher-Price Little People Sesame Street toys. Pretty good looking production, but I don't know what I dig more: the parody or the sight of all those toys I had when I was a kid. Nostalgia makes me want to go on E-Bay and hunt down all those classic Little People figures from my youth, from those days before we worried about choking hazards.

YouTube - Do the Right Thing / Sesame Street
(Not Safe for Work - Language)



Directed by Brent Pike-Nurse
via Matt at ALOTT5MA: HOW COME THERE AIN'T NO MUPPETS ON THE WALL?

A Cookbook Query

This is a question for everyone, but particularly my Foodie minded readers and friends.

Have you ever done every recipe in a cookbook? From cover to cover, hit each recipe at least once? And if not, which ones have you used the most?

Speaking as a bachelor, I recommend every guy learn how to use a cookbook. There's something appealing to a woman about a man who can cook. I think the most invaluable kitchen resource I have is the Complete Canadian Living Cookbook.There's about 350 recipes, so I don't know if I'd do the whole thing, but it's certainly the book I use most frequently. The recipes are easy to follow and allow variation, there's excellent info for new cooks about getting the right cooking equipment for your kitchen, how to make substitutions, and lots of tips. It's easy enough for a newbie, but is useful to the experienced cook. Easily the most useful book to tuck in with a wedding or housewarming gift.

If I made the effort, I'm sure I could knock out any of the Naked Chef line of cookbooks from end to end. I'd guess about 100 recipes in there, and there all do-able. I've used a few Nigella Lawson cookbooks, but the cookbook writer I tend to go to time after time is Donna Hay. The food looks pretty, tastes great, and are pretty straight forward. My recommendations are New Food Fast and Off the Shelf: Cooking from the Pantry .

So foodies, what are your picks for good cookbooks? Or do you manage to freestyle it?

A reminder that you don't need a Blogger account or to enter personal info to use the comments section.

You Give Love A Bad Name

*None of the described methods have been used or endorsed by myself, and I absolve myself of any and all damages, emotional or physical, should any knucklehead actually do any of these things. And to all my married friends: I'm telling you, it's a cold world out there.*

In our modern dating world, there are so many savvy ways to interact or dump someone. None of that face to face awkwardness, explaining "it's not me baby, it's you." Why bother with even a smidgen of self-respect, when you can dump the modern way. No need to own up to your actions when voicemail is so handy.

Post-it as dating tool: while "Sex in the City" had an infamous episode that sprang from being dumped via post-it note, they are a tool for the modern dater. Keep track of just who is laying next to you, or leave a breakfast order and wake up time.

Forward a Google-Map to the dumpee, giving the coordinates to the city of Dumpsville and leave an indicator "You Are Here".

Text message allows you all the immediacy with a cold, emotionless detachment that an emotional break-up requires. Why not take a cue from a guy who broke-up via text-message with blogger Carrie Broadshoulders, but was sure she would get over it because "U r 2 cool 2 b sad." (the2scoops: How do you text "Douche Bag?")

And of course if you really want to both help and hurt, why not illustrate your break-up with a Powerpoint presentation? A classic Accordion Guy post illustrates The Breakup Style of PowerPoint.

Can't Stop The Rock

Whoo hoo! NBC RENEWS '30 ROCK' FOR 2007-2008 SEASON.

Glad to hear this, the shows been building creative momentum for months. Not sure if this would have happened if the contract for Kevin Reilly, President of NBC Entertainment, hadn't been renewed. Kevin's the one who gave the struggling "The Office" a chance and allowed it to build an audience. It's the same shot that "30 Rock" needs. And anyone who keeps Tina Fey on my TV is okay in my books.

Typically when a new network president comes in, they are looking to establish a self-made reputation. They'll want to get rid of any holdovers from the past president that aren't doing well (the last seasons of The Drew Carey Show for example) in favour of new projects.

To celebrate this, and the April 3rd birthday of Alec Baldwin, here's a highlight reel entitled "Reasons Alec Baldwin Won The Golden Globe".



"About 5 inches, but it's thick."

The fun part has been that, as good as Baldwin is, the rest of the cast are improving just from trying to keep up with him. You can watch the whole season and see Tina Fey improve her on-screen performace from shaky at the start to comedy gold in recent episodes, such as the brawl with Isabella Rossellini.

Updated: Alan Sepinwall has a column up in praise of 30 Rock "Long live Liz Lemon!"

Aren't Her Humps Ironic? Alanis covers "My Humps"

I present the funniest thing I've seen all week, and it's only Monday.
Alanis Morissette’s slow and sad (and Tori Amos-like) cover of The Black-Eyed Peas’ classic mindlessly repetitive “My Humps”.

Darlin don't you go and cut your hair

Nothing like an ill-advised perm or dye job to help you get over someone. I was laughing when I suddenly recalled my ex bumping into me during my Summer of The Fauxhawk*. Damn you David Beckham for making me think I could pull it off. This was quickly followed by the Fall/Winter/Spring of growing out my hair which was muuuuch better recieved.

*Do I have any pictures of said haircut? I have a short story about that: no.

Via BrokenEngine

Alex, I'll take obscure 80s movies for $300

Well, THAT was the last film I ever thought I'd reference in a conversation:

Jason: ...so I'm looking for why we're overbudget.

Rando: (joking) What if you find out it's going to some off-shore account?

Jason: Well then I expect to be lured to a party at a beachfront house where I'll be whacked.

Rando: Huh?

Jason: It's how Weekend at Bernie's starts. Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy are accountants who find out someone's embezzeling funds, but don't know it's their boss, Bernie, who invites them to his house for a party where he's going to have them killed, but through a comic turn of events, Bernie gets killed and...

Rando: (blank stare)

Jason: Oh God, I just compared something in my life to Weekend at Bernie's...