the long way home

What a long strange trip Friday night turned out to be: I started on Queen Street in Toronto and almost had to walk back to Richmond Hill from Newmarket. I went 60km and almost had to walk back 20km.

It started with the cancellation of my annual cottage weekend. Seeking something to do, some friends rallied at the Drake Hotel for happy hour after work, where pints of beer and mini martinis are under $5. Mini is a misnomer as they still pack a wallop after a few. A pitcher or two of mojitos turned Happy Hour into Pretty Damned Jovial Few Hours. As I did all this socializing I kept in mind that I had to catch a 1 o'clock bus from the top of the subway line. About 10 ish, I had the bright idea to keep the party going, and as I knew it was karoke night at The Gladstone Hotel down the street, I volunteered to be the Karoke Bitch. Or Karoke Slave, whichever you prefer.

Pretty much the offer that went on the table was that if my friends gave me an additional shot of liquid courage, I'd sing whichever song they picked for me. Sort of hard to back out of that now isn't it? There was much plotting and picking of songs: "That Don't Impress Me Much" was a contender, "Ooops I Did It Again" was almost picked, but the best pick the ladies came up with:

"Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna

It was bad. It was karoke bad. "Papa Don't Preach" is one of those songs where, even sober, I pretty much only know the chorus, and I don't recall how the tune goes. But I made it through the song, note for flat note.

After a victory lap, I caught the subway and made the last bus that, in my head, would take me to the end of the line in Richmond Hill and I'd walk home 15 minutes, none the worse for wear.

Except I dozed off and it turns out the last bus of the night, which I was riding, continues past Richmond Hill and continues to travel up Yonge Street to Newmarket.

I woke up at Upper Canada Mall at 3am, no more buses. I had overshot Richmond Hill by about 20km. I dialed a cab to come get me, paid the $40 to get home, and learned the lesson that if it's late, take the offer to crash on a friend's couch or floor.