Drunk driver claims Shania Twain made him do it

This guy in Ottawa killed a woman and her 12 year old son while drinking and driving, went to jail and had his license revoked, got out and was caught driving drunk again. His defense is Shania Twain made him do it.

Man, if that's what Shania made him do, what did Courtney Love tell him? Is surgically removing this guy's liver or at least a kidney a solution? Go directly to jail jackass. His picture should be up in every bar and goddam liquor store in Ottawa.

Link to CBC

"Drunk driver saved in court by 'Shania Twain' defense "

One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions.

Matt Brownlee was arrested last October after police spotted a pickup truck speeding along a busy street in downtown Ottawa.

The 33-year-old man told psychiatrists that he knew the legal repercussions of his actions, but believed singer Shania Twain was helping him drive. Brownlee pleaded not guilty to four charges, including impaired operation of a motor vehicle and driving while disqualified.

On Monday, the judge drew on several psychiatric assessments in ruling that Brownlee was not criminally responsible for his actions because he suffers from delusions that celebrities such as Twain are communicating with him telepathically.

Ten years ago, Brownlee was given a seven-year prison sentence and barred from driving for the rest of his life after he killed an Ottawa woman, Linda Lebreton-Holmes, and her 12-year-old son while driving with a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit.

Link to CBC (via Warren Ellis)
via Boing Boing: Drunk driver saved in court by "Shania Twain" defense

Brisco County Jr. rides to DVD this summer

Super sweet! One of my favourite Shows I Loved That Were Killed By The Fox Network (it's a long list) is coming to DVD . The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. was a terribly fun Western series with science fiction elements (Fox hates those, as seen by Firefly, although they did let Brisco go for 26 episodes) starring Bruce Campbell as Brisco County Jr., an ex-Harvard lawyer turned bounty hunter. It managed to move well between funny and serious, with a clever sense of humour, which is always a sure sign of a premature demise in television.

The 8 disc (26 episodes & 2-hour pilot) set goes on sale July 18th. Hail to the king baby!

DVD announcement for The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. - date, art and tons of extras!

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Portman Rolls Up On Toronto

Time to hit the record shops, Starbucks, the Drake and Kensington Market - Natalie Portman is in Toronto filming a movie. Along with cast members Jason Bateman and Dustin Hoffman, Natalie is filming the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium in Toronto this month. With a title like that, I wouldn't expect much crossover from her Closer audience.

Natalie Portman once inspired a gin-soaked argument, after my roommate got around to watching Garden State. We argued which of us had the right to claim her as their imaginary movie-star girlfriend. There was no clear winner, as neither of us had the trump card of owning an action figure of Queen Amidala, although I'm pretty sure I named more films she starred in than he could. It was a strange afternoon.

By the way, Zach Braff is a diabolical genius for becoming an actor, writing a script, directing a feature, all so he could have Natalie Portman be his girlfriend in a movie and make-out with her. Well played Mr. Braff, well played. I once had a similar plan to win the heart of Lisa Loeb.

Some may be intimidated to get all up in Natalie's biz-ness after watching the Natalie Portman SNL Gangsta Rap video. Luckily I'm street, so we could roll together. OK stop laughing already.

Here's the plot of "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium":

Portman plays Molly Mahoney, the awkward and insecure manager of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, the strangest, most fantastic toy store in the world. But when Mr. Magorium (Hoffman), the 243-year-old eccentric who owns the store, bequeaths it to her, a dark and ominous change begins to take over the once remarkable Emporium.

With a title like that, this movie should include actor Troy McClure, star of such films as "Professor Horatio Huffnagle and his Contrabulous Fabtraption".

Variety.com - Walden backing 'Wonder'
Picture credit: Star Tracks - Monday, March 27, 2006 Natalie Portman : People.com

Sad Bastards Get Even Sadder as Morrissey Skips Canada

Apparently the morose one is leaving Canada out of his world tour plans in protest of our annual seal hunt. Somehow I don't think this will affect anyone except the fans who still buy his albums and those of us with a fondness for Morrissey's old group The Smiths, whom I was turned on to by my old dorm neighbour Dooee.

By the way, if he had played here, can you imagine anything more depressing than a Morrissey show at The Docks in the rain? The only thing sadder would be the bad poetry inspired by such an event. Morrissey as a musician is a great song writer, but Morrissey as a man tends to come across like, well, a whining prick who takes himself too seriously.

And in case you missed it, Morrissey said The Smiths Turned Down 5 Million To Reunite At The Coachella Valley Festival.

Wikipedia - Morrissey
Torontoist: Morrissey Spites Canada, Fans Even More Depressed

Spring in the blood

It's the first real spring day. The wool coat gets retired to the back of the closet, the sun shines down. People everywhere take their breaks outside. Here at the campus, there are kids playing hackey sack, a young girl juggling. People smile, greeting those they have not seen in months, or at least recognized under the bulk of winter coats and hoods. We talk about flying kites and lying lazily in the sun. I think about coffee on the patio, frisbee in the street. Women start to roll back their turtlenecks and show some actual neck. Men start to spin their heads towards pale legs peeking out from skirts, feeling the soreness of neck muscles not used in months. There is that almost tangible sense of possibility as you bound over benches and barriers, fist punching the sky, as the world shakes the sleep from its bloodshot eyes and looks to the sun.

Planet of Sound: Zaki Ibrahim, A Queen Amongst Divas

I had the pleasure to hear Zaki Ibrahim back in October, singing a few tunes before K'naan took the stage. I can honestly say she got the attention of the whole room with her soulful powerful voice. Words wouldn't do justice to describe her sound, but I'll try: smooth, hot and sweet, like caramel. As Randy would say, that's some baby-making music.

I've been keeping an eye out for any chance to hear this up and coming talent, impatiently waiting for her to record an album BlogTO gave me the heads-up where I can find some of her music. Do yourself a favor and check out Zaki's Myspace page which has a couple of her songs playing. Her next appearance is at the Global Divas concert benefit event for St. Stephen's Community House youth drop-in program. Do yourself a favour and check out this fantastic singer, as talent like this doesn't stay local for long.

BlogTO | Zaki Ibrahim's A Global Diva
Photo: alexisfinch.com

Parker, Stone Respond to Pulling of 'South Park' Episode

Comedy Central was reportedly pressured by parent company Viacom to pull a repeat of the South Park episode "Trapped In The Closet". The suggestion has been made by Internet bloggers that Tom Cruise threatened to not promote Mission Impossible 3 if the offending episode ran. Comedy Central is owned by Viacom, as is Paramount, which is putting out MI:3. The episode was pulled and 2 episodes which featured Chef (voiced by Isaac Hayes) were aired in tribute. Hayes Quit South Park early this month (the2scoops).

In response, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, released this statement through their lawyer:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

-- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu

Yes, that is the legitimate statement. Seems like the appropriate stance to take, source

South Park returns in the United States on Wednesday March 22th with an episode called The Return of Chef!. Needless to say, Isaac Hayes is not involved:

The Return of Chef!
The citizens of South Park have been a bit down lately, but Chef's sudden return snaps them out of it. While Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman are excited that Chef's returned, something seems different about him. When Chef finds himself in trouble thanks to his new ways, the boys will stop at nothing to save him.

Apparently, South Park has a much quicker turnaround time from the writing of an episode to production, compared to animated series which tend to take a few months. Looking forward to this little scrap. The saga continues.

I hope no one tries to out do Tommy Lee on the audition tape

The band to look for a lead singer on the reality series "Rock Star" has been announced, and it will be a new group sort of. Drummer Tommy Lee (Motley Crue), Gilby Clarke (ex-Guns and Roses) and bassist Jason Newsted (ex-Metallica) will form a new supergroup in search of a singer. The winner will join the band, record an album, tour the world, and then likely break up as a result of petty infighting and jealousy, reunite years later, and will still have their reunion album out before a new Guns and Roses album appears.

Rumours have been around for the past month of who would take part, including Van Halen, Queen, and Alice and Chains. With this announcement, Freddie Mercury will hopefully stop spinning in his grave. And who the hell could have hoped to replace Layne Staley from Alice in Chains? You try to imitate Layne, you end up sounding like Nickleback or Creed.

INXS found singer JD Fortune in the intial season and have found renewed success. The CBS series, with returning hosts Dave Navarro and Brooke Burns, returns this summer.

Lee, Newsted, Clarke search for "Rock Star" - Yahoo! News

What was the #1 song on the day you were born?

#1 Song on This Date in History
A fun little timewaster, this site is dedicated to indexing the Billboard top song charts, allowing you to cross-reference what was the top song on a specific date. Click on the month, date and scan down to the year you want. Let me know which song was top on yours or your significant other's (which a friend has told me is now known as an "S.O.") birthday.

the2scoops: "Saturday Night" by The Bay City Rollers

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Class of 2006: Dead and Loving It

Bit of a bitch and moan year for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and anyone not bitching was, well, dead. All the inductees were deserving, but as artists become eligible for induction 25 years after the release of their first record, its hard to stay on speaking terms for the whole 25 years, let alone breathing terms as the honour came too late for many. Seriously, how is Ozzy still living?

Blondie : Business and legal dispute between former and current members tainted the band's performance at the ceremony, which included a moment when " There was an awkward moment when the original band members said they wanted to join in but were turned down. New wave punk rockers, their most famous hits are "Heart of Glass", "Atomic" and" "Call Me". Deborah Harry is the lead frontwoman and an 80's icon.

Black Sabbath: Lead singer Ozzy Osborne is consistently semi-conscious. Black Sabbath is frequently cited as a leading influence in heavy metal genre. Although they did not perform, it was not animosity as Osborne proclaimed "If we'd have played everyone would have been f***ing dead at the end, the volume we play at."

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Hard-living Southern rock at its best, the band lost key members in a plane crash in 1977. Most of the band were injured in the same crash which is part of rock and roll legend. Known for classic songs like "Sweet Home Alabama" and the song some a-hole always shouts for at any concert, "Freebird".

Miles Davis: one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century, the man is a jazz icon. Composer, trumpet player, innovator, legend. A hard living man, he died of a stroke in 1991. Synonymous with cool, if you haven't gotten laid in a while, it's because you don't own one of his albums. (thanks Randy for that last line)

Sex Pistols are punk, in all their rude and crude glory. Bassist Sid Vicious died of a drug overdose in 1979. They turned down the honour, posting a feisty little letter on the Sex Pistols web site: "Next to the Sex Pistols, Rock and Roll and that hall of fame is a piss stain".

Maybe the Sex Pistols were the smart ones to refuse the "honour" this year. At least if they had Rush enter the Hall of Fame, they could count on a grateful and deserving band who would show up, play and even be gracious about it.


Entertainment News Article Reuters.co.uk: "Sex Pistols spurn Hall of Fame, rebel rockers honoured"

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum website

Inductees of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - Wikipedia

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony - News on Yahoo! Music

Hayes Quits South Park, Takes His Salty Chocolate Balls and Goes Home

South Park has satirized many religious icons and institutions, but when they eventually turned their eye to Scientology, it was enough to cause one of their voice actors to quit. Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef and real life Scientologist, quit the show this week.

Hayes has stated his decision is based on his opinion that South Parks creators are showing a "growing insensitivity" to religions, but most people assume it is due to the season nine classic episode "Trapped in the Closet" that saw fourth grader Stan become the saviour of Scientology and skewered Scientology and its celebrity spokesmen Tom Cruise and John Travolta. In a statement, the soulful singer, most famously known for his song "Shaft", had this to say:

There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins. Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices.

http://yeeeah.com/blog/2006/03/14/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/

Chef was arguably one of the most popular adult characters on South Park, though he has not been as prominent in recent seasons. The resident ladies man and cafeteria chef was the voice of wisdom to the boys, answering their questions about women and race relations with smooth and sexy songs.

Hayes had no problems when the show took some vicious shots at the Catholic church, revivalists or Judaism, but when it came to Scientology, he took his salty chocolate balls and went home. South Park co-creator Matt Stone issued this statement:

This has nothing to do with intolerance and bigotry and everything to do with the fact that Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist and that we recently featured Scientology in an episode of 'South Park.' In 10 years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park,' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons and Jews. He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show. To bring the civil rights struggle into this is just a non-sequitur. Of course we will release him from his contract and we wish him well.

Channel Island: The TV Industry Blog: "Chef Tells 'South Park' to Fudge Off"

No word on whether the Chef character will be killed off or just not be seen anymore, but I think we can safely say that the South Park guys will deal with this in the appropriate manner - I suppose it could become a running gag in the new season...

Let us remember some favourite Chef songs as we say good-bye to Mr. Hayes:

* The Prostitute Song (To James Taylor's "Your Smiling Face")
o "A prostitute is someone who will love you/No matter who you are or what you look like/But that's not why you pay prostitute. No, you don't pay her to stay/You pay her to leave afterwards/That's why I praise the Lord for prostitutes!Ladies n gentelmen, Mr. James Taylor!" JamesT:"A prostitute is like any other woman/They all trade something for sex, and they do it well..."

* Chef's Christmas Song
o "I'm gonna lay ya down by the yule log/I'm gonna love you right/Baby, I'm gonna deck your halls/And silence your night/Girl, you'll hear the herald angels sing/When I'm sliding off your bra/Girl, I just can't wait to jingle your bells/And fa-la-la your la!"

* Chef on Where Babies Come From
o "When a man loves a woman/And a woman loves a man/...Well, sometimes the man doesn't love the woman,/But he pretends like he does, in order to get some action."

* Simultaneous
o "Baby, you know you're the girl for meeeeee/And all that I want to beeeee..../You!/And Me!/...And her! SI-MUL-TAN-E-OUS!You!/And Me!/And you and you!/Simultaneous lov-in, baby/two or three!/SI-MUL-TAN-E-OUS!/Oooh, that's right..."

* Chef as a zombie (Sung to Michael Jackson's "Thriller".)
o "I'm gonna make love, even when I'm dead. My body might be cold, but it's always hot in my bed. Make love, you don't have to be afraid. Just because my heart ain't beaten. Doesn't mean you can't get laid. Owwwww.

* Sometimes you kill your teacher
o "Sometimes you kill your teacher and they find your semen in her stomach, and uh"

* Shovel that Snow
o "Shovel that snow, babih, it's all nice, heavy and wet"

* Just Play it Cool
o "Sometimes you fall in love and you think it feels that way forever./You change your life and didn't know your friends cause you think it can't get any better./But then love goes away; no matter what, it doesn't stay as strong./And then you're left with nothing, cause you're tinking with your dong."

* Tonight is Right for Love (from the Pot-bellied Elephant episode)
o "Tonight is right for love, you know I want to touch you where the lights don't go."

Chef (South Park character) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Channel Island: The TV Industry Blog: "Chef Tells 'South Park' to Fudge Off"
http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/news/mar06/62.html
[ TV t a t t l e . c o m ]

"Choose Your Own Adventure" Covers

If you grew up in the 80's, then you should remember the Choose Your Own Adventure books. I remember them as a staple of my public school library. Accordion Guy posted 66 "Choose Your Own Adventure" Book Covers as one giant image. Thanks for the hit of nostalgia Joey!

PS Did anyone else sometimes start at an ending and work backwards?

The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century :: Joey deVilla's Weblog :: 66 "Choose Your Own Adventure" Book Covers

Index of covers and summaries: Choose Your Own Adventure

Steak and BJ Day

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

TTC Thanks Fans By Kicking Them

With the next fare hike coming up, you would think the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC)) would work on a positive public image. There are some Toronto Transit riders that are fans of the TTC, not the folks who spit or clip their nails, but smart, creative people who see the Better Way can be, well, better. So why is the TTC doing everything in its power to sour the milk of goodwill?

A couple of weeks ago, artist John Martz at RobotJohnny.com posted an anagram TTC map, which was a goofy piece.

Of course the only response from the TTC was not thanks for the creative free publicity. No, they sent a cease and desist letter (see The Bitter Way).

Among the responses to this tactless act was Cory Doctorow of BoingBoing, who wrote:

(The TTC map) is part of every Torontonian's experience of the city, a part of the cultural fabric. Culture gets remixed -- that's what happens with it. Trademark is supposed to protect rightsholders from competitors who use their marks to confuse the public in the course of commerce. No one who saw RobotJohnny's genius map would have confused it for a second with a real TTC map and sent him a subway token. The TTC's legal bullying here is completely needless -- they face no risk and no loss from letting their riders make turn the map into their own personal remix.

Boing Boing: Toronto Transit Commission censors humorous subway map remix

Another fan site ttcrider.ca has posted the map in an act of defiance along with an open Letter to TTC Chair Howard Moscoe, with a request for a formal apology. You can download the map in pdf form here BlogTO highlights the main points of the letter:

1. The TTC is so desperately in need of a public image makeover, that not only are they snarling at artists that they should be on their hands and knees thanking... but they're also apparently unable to capitalize on the publicity they've inadvertently generated for themselves, leaving other entities (like ttcrider.ca) to do it for them;

2. How in the whole wide world is there an entire web site devoted to TTC transit fandom?!

BlogTO | The gaffe that won't go away

It's not the first time the TTC has snarled at their fans. ttcrider.ca drew the TTC's ire as the creator of the TTC Subway Rider Efficiency Guide, available as a free download. It gives great rider tips such as showing which spots on the train match up to your station exit. Not to mention the TTC missed the boat on supporting the collection of buttons spacing.ca sells with the name and tile art of stations on the subway lines, a great little collectible. Spacing is is a magazine about Toronto's public spaces and urban landscape, and worth a look.

My $100 a month I sink into transit says they should encourage creative promotion, and not waste the TTC's time (and my money) siccing their lawyers on folks like John Martz.

PS How about making Dundas West station smell less like the monkeyhouse at the zoo?

Real Life Simpsons - Five fingered people? Eeeew!

The opening sequence for the Simpsons, filmed with real people, from the makers of the show. The sequence is being used in the U.K. to advertise the new season of The Simpsons. Enjoy!




The Sun Online - Bizarre online: The Simpsons come to life
Originally seen at The Simpsons Come to Life at Yeeeah!

Oscar Wrap 2006 - I know it's long, but I gave up sleep for this

The Brokeback juggernaut finally came to a halt, as 6 different pictures divided up the 6 main awards.

Ang Lee won Best Director for Brokeback Mountain, but it was a bit of an upset (woke me up as I started to nod off) to hear Crash win Best Picture. Good for canuck Paul Haggis on a first feature and a difficult, thought-provoking movie. With it's huge cast, Crash is another movie that justifies a Best Ensemble Award. It could have gone up against The 40-Year Old Virgin.

Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney (Syriana). "Well, guess I'm not winning Best Director." Charming and natural speech, this is a genuine Hollywood actor in the classic Cary Grant sense of the word. "Listen, I don't know how you compare art ... unless we all did the same role. Everybody put on a bat suit. Let's all try that."

Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardener). The annoucer cites her work in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns? Where's the love people? When Samuel L. Jackson wins, will they cite work in Deep Blue Sea and Snakes on a Plane?

Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon (Walk The Line). I was just waiting to see if she forgot to thank her husband Ryan Phillipe. Looks like he used up all his "I'm so happy for my wife" exhuberance at the Golden Globes.

Best Actor: Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Capote). Yay, this was one I was really glad to see. Aside from being an amazing actor in so many genres, his work in Capote was stellar, just disappears into the character. Well done, and a sweet speech giving tribute to his mom.

Pleased to see Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit win Best Animated Feature. None of the nominees were computer animated, all handcrafted. Beneath all the razzle dazzle of digital animation, you still need heart and a good story.

Best Documentary: March of the Penguins. I was rooting for Murderball (showing on A&E this month). Those damned ubiquitous penguins, always flaunting their formal wear...

Memoirs of a Geisha won cinematography, costume design and art direction, but wasn't nominated for any story or acting categories. Translation: it's a two-hour date with a pretty woman who bores the hell out of you.

Best Song: It's Hard Out Here To Be A Pimp by Three-6 Mafia from Hustle & Flow. Now that's how you celebrate a win. That should be a great after party. Guess Dolly Parton wasn't gangsta enough, maybe she needs lessons from Natalie Portman.

Jon Stewart as host:
Funny, good effort for his first time out. He hit a homerun, but he didn't bomb. He kept thing moving, as this Oscar's clocked quicker than usual at 3 and a half hours. Things didn't get overtly political, the attack-ads were funny, and towards the end he started making cracks like he was giving a voice to the viewers at home:

"Capote showed America that not all gay people are virile cowboys."

Stewart talked about the nominated Munich and Stephen Speilberg's 1993 Schindler's List: "I think I speak for all Jews when I say I can't wait to see what happens to us next."

Following the ump-teenth montage: "I can't wait for the upcoming montage of montages. Seriously, I think we're out of clips"

"You know what? I think it just got a little easier out here for a pimp."

"Martin Scorcese, 0 Oscars. Three-6 Mafia, 1 Oscar."

I would have liked a report from a Daily Show correspondant out in the audience or at the bar.

Show notes:

Opening with the recent Oscar hosts turning down the offer was funny, especially seeing Jon Stewart wake up with a game George Clooney. All across the world, millions of women wish they were the filling in that sandwich.

Seating Jack Nicholson next to Keira Knightley? That won't end well, and makes Keira's date (and probably her parents) very very nervous.

Gay subtext in Westerns montage? Priceless, and likely a 3rd Year Film Studies paper.

Why do the producers insist on using dance into the musical numbers. We couldn't just have Kathleen Bird York singing her song for "Crash", but we get a distracting dance troupe recreating key scenes through interpretive dance. Host at the Oscar party: "That dancer just put his hands between her legs! Were those dancers doing the molestation scene?" Yep.

The only reason I tolerate the animated Chicken Little characters presenting is it somehow involves Joan Cusack and Zach Braff. Why do they do this, to make sure the 6-year olds demographic is still tuning in?

Nothing significant in terms of fashion disasters. Although what the hell was on Charlize Theron's shoulder, a portable pillow?

artifacts pointed out the predominance of pale women wearing white or skin-toned gowns. So many translucent women, I think I could see through Nicole Kidman.

Was Sandra Bullock having any fun? She looked offended to be there up on stage.

Jessica Alba looked glamourous up there. Still won't get a statue though.

How happy did Jennifer Garner look up there, recovering from a near spill and still beaming. And yes, she was highlighting the "I've just had a baby" boobs.

Anyone else squirm a bit when Lauren Bacall struggled with the teleprompter?

Comedians make the best presenters: Ben Stiller and his visual effects body suit, Will Farrell and Steve Carrell in their make-up were all terrific. Lily Tomlin's rambling with Meryl Streep in an Altman-esque tribute to honorary Oscar winner Robert Altman was brilliantly funny and loopy.

It's worth noting how many winning films had prominent showings or premieres at the Toronto International Film Festival: Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Wallace & Gromit, Crash, Tsotsi (Best Foreign Film), Walk The Line.

And my closing quote of the night:

As I watched one of the female presenters (not Felicity Huffman) walk on screen: "Wow, she looks great in that dress, you can hardly see the tiny penis."

Menu shout out:

I'm stuffed from the terrific food provided by our Oscar hosts:

Pink & Frilly Sheppard's Pie: like Brokeback Mountain, pink and full of meat.

Black & White Cookies: for Good Night & Good Luck. We were going to just chain smoke and drink scotch, but the cookies won out.

Pink and White Velvet Cake: Like Capote, smooth and sophisticated.

Multi-Racial Dip: For Crash: Red Pepper & Walnut Dip, Spinach Dip (WASP-ish, made from Knorr soup mix), Black Olive Tapenade, and Guacamole.

Lox and bagels: for Munich, because we could find a good recipe for gifillte fish and Manny Chevitz.

Time for bed, same time next year everyone.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences

Live-blogging the Oscar telecast | Popwatch | Blog: Entertainment Weekly

azerbic - Antonia Zerbisias - Toronto Star Blog: Oscar and the Grouch

artifacts: Shallow (me) and Random (my family) observations : The Oscars

TheStar.com - Crash wins best picture

Egotastic! - 78th Annual Academy Awards Mega Picture Post

POPSUGAR - Oscar Coverage

Natalie Portman SNL Gangsta Rap video - Updated

Update: Lawyers swooped in. Official NBC link to the video is below.

Take a look before the lawyers swoop in: Natalie Portman lays down some gangsta rap in a video from the Lonely Island guys, makers of the "Lazy Sunday" video. NBC had their lawyers bully YouTube into pulling the "Lazy Sunday" video and other NBC clips, despite it creating buzz about SNL that hasn't been seen in years. A bit misguided to kill one of the few things that are working in Saturday Night Live's favour.

NBC.com - Saturday Night Live: Natalie Raps "A day in the life of Natalie Portman"

Oh Natalie, such a badass, but it just makes us want you more.

More pics and links at: Egotastic! - Natalie Portman Rap Video - Saturday Night Live