Time to make a play date

How cool is this: a family event that isn't just for kids. Bunch Family Salon "a symposium of art, music and ideas for kids and parents" aims to let the parents have as much fun as the kids, while indulging in great creative activities that reflect living in an urban playground like Toronto. It's just the type of thing for my friends who worry that becoming a parent means they'll have to give up on some of the fun in their lives.

The event they ran this past weekend had some fantastic activities:

Percussion Petting Zoo — Attendees play with percussion instruments from around the world, selected and presented by the Toronto Symphony Orchestra's lead timpanist, David Kent. Hitting things that make noise? That's just all day fun!

Lectures By Kids — Kids give a three-to-seven minute lecture on anything they want. There will be lectures on superheroes, mice and the ocean, to name a few. This is hosted by Trampoline Hall's Misha Glouberman.

Guerilla Opera — An undercover Royal Conservatory of Music opera singer unexpectedly and randomly starts singing throughout the event.

Animation Station — National Film Board of Canada gurus will help kids and parents create storyboards, clay figures and short animated films.

Play With Props — Props from the Lorraine Kimsa Theatre for Young People (LKTYP) prop collection will be available to play with.

Broken Social Songwriting — Broken Social Scene's Kevin Drew and Jason Collett were on hand to help write an original composition. The lyrics were written by the kids and parents, with the two Scene-sters accompanying on guitar.

No word yet on the next event, but Bunch also runs a Family Dance Party where kids and parents can shake it on the dance floor.

Found through Torontoist

Torontoist: Bunch Even Better Than A Birthday (review)

Torontoist: Bunch Family's Social Scene

Teeth on The Dial - Channel Surfing

The Price is Awesome Bob:
"How I Met Your Mother" visits "The Price is Right"
Bob Barker will guest-star when Barney goes on the game show in "a voyage of self-discovery."

That's What She Said

What would happen if someone sued The Office? A labor and employment attorney breaks down the numbers and figures out how much Dunder Miflin Paper Company would lose if they were held accountable for the antics of Michael Scott and his employees. HR Hero Blogs

Episode: “Diwali”
LITIGATION VALUE: $350,000

My grandmother always said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I never knew exactly what she meant. Until now. Michael’s diversity training, well intentioned as it may have been, provides ample evidence of discriminatory bias against employees of Indian descent in general and of Kelly in particular. Indeed, Michael’s PowerPoint on famous Indians includes only three people — one of whom is the fictional character Apu from The Simpsons.

Tina Fey gives good quote

Tina Fey showed up as host of the Writers Guild Awards and tossed off this topper in the 30 Rock vs Studio 60 competition. She pointed to her dress and told the crowd:

"I hear Aaron Sorkin is in Los Angeles wearing the same dress - but longer, and not funny."


A show that must have been sold on the title alone:
CW picks up "M.I.L.F. and Cookies"vA comedy about a group of hot single moms from Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.

Return of The Ziering
Your Season 4 Dancing With The Stars participants:

Big Pussy, Heather Mills, Ian Ziering, Vincent "Big Pussy" Pastore of "The Sopranos," Ian Ziering of "90210," Heather Mills of Paul McCartney, Olympic speedskater Apolo Anton Ohno, Czech supermodel Paulina Porizkova, former "ET" fixture Leeza Gibbons, ex-Miss USA Shandi Finnessey, former 'N Sync-er Joey Fatone, ex-NBA player Clyde Drexler, Billy Ray Cyrus from "Mullet Superstar of the 90s" and Laila Ali, the daughter of Muhammad

I'll teach you to laugh at something funny!

I was skeptical that when I heard The Simpsons Movie was coming out this summer. The show peaked about 10 seasons ago and while I always get at least a couple of laughs out of recent episodes, the laughs per minute rate has diminished.

Worry no more. After watching the most recent trailer for The Simpsons Movie, I thought "Wow, that was as funny as any of the stuff in the old days." I decided to look up (Wikipedia_ Simpsons Movie) to see which writers wrote the movie script, and hallelujah, it seems looks like a collection of the best writers from their peak era of Seasons 4 - 9. Some of the episodes the writers have written include the classics: "Mr. Plow" , "Cape Feare", "Homer's Enemy" (Frank Grimes), "Simpsons Bible Stories", "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds" ("See my vest, see my vest..."), "The Way We Was", "Homer the Heretic", and "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson". And the director is David Silverman, who directed Krusty Gets Kancelled, so it appears we're in good hands. Now if only we'd get a sequel to South Park: The Musical.

Return of the goat

That was one mothertrucker of a flu that took me out this week. I was sleeping for most of 4 or 5 days, this is my first day back at work and I still feel ill. Nothing to do to fight the flu other than sleep and drink liquids. I don't think my body reacts well to good health: two weeks of a new nutritional overhaul and fitness plan, and my confused body ("Bloods flowing? WTF?!") gets floored by flu.

Since I wasn't at work all week, I didn't bother shaving, so hence the return of the goatee, without the public, scraggly in-between grow stage (guys know what I mean).

Opinions on facial hair (women's I mean, because what do I care what the guys think?) tend to be generally favourable, as long as one tends to keep the hair trimmed and neat. Some women just don't like facial hair on a guy, period. Some mention it must be an indication of bachelorhood, which I am counting as a pro, even if it was a backhanded compliment. One woman once said a goatee was an indication that a guy hadn't been laid in a while. Not sure where she drew that conclusion from, and Edward Norton and Tom Selleck would disagree. But in the end, sometimes it just suits some guys (me) better than others (you).

Odds and sods:

• in trying to buy tickets online for the Arcade Fire show at Massey Hall in Toronto, I learned not to hit "Refresh" on six windows at once, because Ticketmaster will block you for a few crucial minutes, which made all the difference for a pair of shows that sold out in 15 minutes or less. I tried a couple times to get a pair, only to get "No results" over and over. Fortunately I ditched the "Get 2 tickets and find someone to go with" plan in favour of "Screw it, get 1 ticket and at least see the show" option in the nick of time. I got my single for Wednesday, May 16th, 1st balcony, pretty much centre. Massey has good sightlines IIRC, so I should be set. And if another show is added, I'll get a pair for that.

• speaking of good shows and Arcade Fire , here's a great pairing: this weekend's Saturday Night Live is hosted by Rainn Wilson, aka Dwight K Schrute of The Office,and Arcade Fire are the musical guest. Goes together like gin and homemade brownies I tells ya'.

• The Impulsive Buy review of Betty Crocker Hot Fudge Brownie Warm Delights was enough of a treat to keep me going back to the blog for more funny reviews of products that typically are found just in the States. Something about the writing amuses me...

Much like Trivial Pursuit, Connect Four, expressing myself emotionally with women, double dutch, shuffleboard, getting girlfriends to not break up with me using pathetic amounts of begging, and getting change back after sticking a twenty dollar bill under a stripper’s thong, baking is something I’m not very successful at…especially brownies.
No review yet for the fabled Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick, as seen and ridiculed on The Daily Show, but I'm sure it's coming.
• The first huge torrent of MP3s for SXSW Showcasing Bands (739 songs, 3.1 GB) from the SXSW festival is up on their site. It's a collection of songs from artists playing at the festival, and makes a great random sampler. Play it on shuffle for a few days or weeks, delete the stuff that you don't like (nobody likes 100% of it, that's just not possible) and highlight and follow-up with the songs you dig. It's a great tool for finding new music and bands before they breakout and you hear their songs on the inevitable car or iPod commercial. It covers so many different genres.

I have a full weekend of Auto Show, going bowling with friends for the first time in years, and an Oscar Party, so I'll try to catch up later.

As if I didn't feel ill enough already...

I've spent most of the weekend on the couch with a cold and a fever, but am passing the time productively: I had a chance to catch up on some movies. Little Miss Sunshine was a really sweet and charming picture, a refreshing take on the "road trip" movie with some very damaged people piling into a VW Van just to make their little girl happy. The Inside Man was as good as you've heard: any of the actors involved would easily fit in with the other Oscar nominations. I was pleasantly surprised to see Spike Lee deliver a tense flick about the perfect heist, and it all comes together in this movie: plot, characters, dialogue. Held my attention all the way through.

And then I go online to check some emails and websites, and lo and behold, apparently Britney Spears is flipping out: after a 24-hour stint in rehab, she went to a barber shop and she shaves her own head. I looked at the photos and can't seem to spot any lobotomy scars. I mean, tell me that's sane behaviour from a woman that takes her life and her career seriously. And here I was pondering what could top murderous diaper wearing astronauts and the death of Anna Nicole Smith, and now we have a pop star in the midst of a very public meltdown that is giving Courtney Love a run for her money.

I'm going back to bed, it's too weird a world somedays.

OK Go goes chameleon in their new video

Fresh off a Grammy win for Best Video - Short Format, here's the new video from OK Go for "Do What You Want", and stay tuned for drive time traffic and weather...



Want to play a drinking game? Everytime I gush about OK Go or you see them pop up on my site, take a drink.

• This is the second video for "Do What You Want". The original is here.

• I know it looks like stop-action animation, but it's all real people.

• I know, you want one of those pimped out Segways now, don't you?

Do the Darwin Awards have a toy line?

Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Bunny recalled, poses choking hazard
Lesson #1: don't put stuff in your mouth or you'll choke.

Hasbro recalls 985,000 Easy-Bake Ovens
Lesson #2: if it bakes cakes, it'll bake your hand.



The Darwin Awards

Happy Single-Person's Awareness Day

Valentine's Day began with a co-worker gushing how this was a day to celebrate love. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

"You young people have no sense of romance", she said.

I made it clear that I consider myself a pretty romantic guy; I also know that I've had more Valentine's Days as a singleton than in a relationship. I don't hate Valentine's Day, I hate history.

I'm not too fond of the many expectations that come with this all-so Hallmark of holidays. There's pressure on men to really come through on Valentine's Day. Every newscaster started their Valentine's stories with "Well guys, we bet you still managed to screw this up" or a similar sentiment. As if we didn't know that giving a certificate that's redeemable for "The Best Loving You Ever Got" won't cut it. Umm, we guys do know that, right? Because despite the calendars and the gentle reminders, there was still a deep line-up Valentine's afternoon at the florist counter of the supermarket.

And then my friend mentioned that today marks 8 years for her and her now-hubby, and since I'm happy for her, I suppose I can at least celebrate someone else's love.

My original singleton plans were to go home, drink a bottle of wine and watch High Fidelity, but I thought better of it. Instead I used being single as motivation at the gym:

"....12...I'll show that....13....woman what she....14....is missing....15....and next time...16...she sees me...17...I'll be...18...firm like mutton...19..."

Needless to say with so much angst for fuel, I'm hobbling around in pain already.

So as a singleton, what is the rule about dates and v-day? More to the point, first dates or early dates?

As an example of what can go wrong, The Office had a funny bit where Ryan realizes in horror that he hooked up with needy coworker Kelly the day before Valentine's Day .

Singles events on Valentine's Day are tainted with this air of expectation and desperation, so I don't recommend that as being too healthy. There's that sense of "I have nothing better to do, so I'll do you". V-Day is also a time when guys cruise bars for lonely vulnerable women, like a National Bridesmaid day.

If you choose to embrace your inner Bitter Bastard, I'd suggest getting some other singletons together and hold an Anti-Valentine's dinner, making snarky comments about other couples that pass you by: "Oh wow, she is really out of his league" and "God, I thought that was her Dad !"

I think a first date actually on Valentine's Day would be kind of fun depending on the person you were with already flirting with, maybe had a few lunches with. A first date on Valentine's Day could jump start a "just a friend" into dating material. But does it send mixed signals or will it be taken too seriously? That depends on the people involved. If I were to show up for a V-Day first date and she demanded where her treats were, I'd be out before the first gin and tonic hit the bar. But if you make an effort to at least acknowledge this most Hallmark of holidays, I'd show up with something novel like one of those kid's Valentine's cards ("I Choo-Choo-Choose U") or a cheesy stuffed bear and we have a laugh, then the date's off to a good start.

The best Valentine's date I had? That would be a spontaneous affair a few years back. The girl I was seeing at the time had been sick with bronchitis for the week, so we didn't make plans. But she felt better on Valentine's and all the restaurants were booked. We stayed in, ordered Chinese, watched Sid & Nancy , a romance in it's own right, and danced to Sinatra.

It wasn't fancy, it wasn't expensive, but it was genuine and a nice little moment for us. It doesn't have to be a Hallmark holiday of overpriced roses and dinner. It's a cliché, but everyday should be Valentine's Day, and I think the best thing to do is to just show up with roses or take her out for a nice dinner when she least suspects it, or most needs it.

I believe in love, it just don't always believe in me.

For laughs:
The Office - "Valentine's Day" Deleted Scenes

I Won't Back Down So Suck My Grammy

While looking over the list of Grammy winners from this past weekend, I noticed the The Red Hot Chili Peppers won Best Rock Song and Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal for "Dani California".

Which brings me to this: HEY! CHILI PEPPERS! YOU OWE TOM PETTY ONE OF YOUR GRAMMYS!

What, you don't recall all the talk over the summer that "Dani California" was a rip off of the Tom Petty song "Last Dance With Mary Jane" ? On a closer listen, you can find similarities in chord progression and lyrics. Tom Petty says he doesn't care, and he doesn't think its malicious. I don't think it was deliberate, but it feels like when a classic movie gets remade and it pales in comparison. So give props to the original.

I just think it's sad that a band that used to be such pretty badass and dangerous to put on air have wandered off to adult alternative retirement and gotten boring; so boring that the most controversial thing to happen to them in the past few years was this sort-of plagiarism.

Wikipedia: Dani California
Wikipedia: Mary_Jane's_Last_Dance

Pepperpot: Hardy Boys are hardly boys, Frakking news, and Arcade Fire tour news

A string of interesting announcements got my attention today:

20th Century Fox announced that Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller are the unlikely pair cast as The Hardy Boys, in an action-comedy that finds the boys have grown up and grown apart, and reunite for one last case (wasn't that the plot for the Scooby Doo movie?). I hope the direction is more goofball (Zoolander, Dodgeball) than buddy comedy (I Spy). It's been awhile since Tom Cruise has been funny on purpose. At least they'll actually look like brothers: Ben has been known to do an excellent Tom Cruise imitation on the MTV Movie Awards, SNL, and The Ben Stiller Show - would Katie notice the difference?

All right, you can breathe Greg, Karen, et al. Ask Ausiello on TV Guide.com has the scoop that "Sci Fi Channel has ordered a 13-episode fourth season of Battlestar Galactica to debut in Jan. 2008"! This is good news for a cult-show with a dedicated fanbase, but hasn't seen any significant ratings growth depsite a new timeslot and a ton of buzz.

Speaking of buzz, The Arcade Fire have announced their next tour in support of Neon Bible, due in March. There are 2 Toronto dates at Massey Hall, a venue that is just the right size for a band that likes to connect with their audience.

05-12 Montreal, Quebec - Arena Maurice Richard
05-13 Montreal, Quebec - Arena Maurice Richard
05-15 Toronto, Ontario - Massey Hall
05-16 Toronto, Ontario - Massey Hall

On sale date is Feb 23rd @ Noon, but i am hoping for Edge 102 has a pre-sale for members.

BTW - I noticed The Killers are scheduled to play the Air Canada Centre on Monday, May 7th. When the hell did they get big enough to justify a stadium show? One great album and a so-so follow-up gets you out of the Koolhaus?

Word of the Day: Stabbity

stabbity (adj.): prickly; irritable; to be easily provoked into stabbing the next person to irritate you or cross your path.

ex. Nikita's is feeling very stabbity today, so I'll avoid dropping these TPS reports on her desk.

I introduced the word "stabbity" into my friend's vocabulary yesterday, and she has gleefully grabbed hold of it . I picked it up through author Warren Ellis, who uses it frequently on his messageboards and in dealing with small unruly children and Republicans, but I am not 100% sure its origins can be traced back to him.

Lost in Translation

Lost in Translation #1
(secondhand conversation as friends discuss fantasies)

Man: My fantasy would be to have Swedish twins.

Woman: So would you move to Sweden to have the babies, or is it only important that the mother is Swedish?

Filed under sweet but innocent.

Lost in Translation #2
(firsthand paraphrasing while channel surfing)

"Anna Nicole Smith lived her life, for better or for worse, in the glare of the media spotlight..."

- Entertainment Tonight anchor Mary Hart

Pretty sure it was for worse, Mary.

Knives Out: Kitchen Not So Confidential

"NOBODY ASKED ME, BUT……By Anthony Bourdain":

In which Anthony Bourdain, chef, author of Kitchen Confidential, and sufferer of no fools, gives his opinion on Food Network and it's emphasis on personalities and spectacle rather than cooking. At least Alton Brown (every show he hosts is an education) and Giada De Laurentiis (chef most likely to be featured in Maxim, but Lord can she cook) come out of it relatively unscathed.

The ubiquitous Rachel Ray does not fare so well:

Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So...what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” more

Bourdain's ruthless honesty and insights have served him well as a guest judge on Top Chef this year, where he described one dish having been made with Flintstonian Execution. And that was a compliment. Sort of.

Anthony Bourdain:(on Michael's dishes) That was so perverse, so inappropriate, I'm almost beginning to respect him.

What can I say, I admire any guy who is a world class chef, has been to the bottom to the top in his profession, and loves punk music. His favourite album is Fun House by Iggy Pop and The Stooges (5-star dessert island classic, the2scoops approved) and playing of music by Billy Joel in his kitchen is grounds for immediate firing.

Vista: Your Lifeforce is Running Out

I find these ads amusing, but this recent one takes a nice shot at Windows Vista's "cancel or allow" boxes.



See at Accordion Guy: "You are coming to a sad realization. Cancel or allow?"

only a mild exaggeration of the "Cancel or Allow" dialog boxes that you'll often see when running Windows Vista:

Wah Wah Wi-Fi

BoingBoing has an article up that points to a problem I, as a non-parent, never considered: WiFi signals interfere with baby monitors.

I know that Wireless Internet is a popular option, but my experience with it has been hit and miss, especially with the cordless phones I have at home. But I never stopped to think about the possibility of WiFi interfering with baby monitors and vice-versa. There's a market out there for a reliable guaranteed WiFi, and Philips seems to have made one:

Philips interference-free baby monitor
... Philips sent me a review unit of their new DECT Baby Monitor with the
claim of "guaranteed zero interference." DECT (Digital Enhanced Cordless
Telecommunications) is a digital wireless standard that was imported from
Europe. I don't know all of the technical details and at $200, the DECT Baby
Monitor isn't cheap. But we've used it every day (and every night) for six
months and it has never failed us, never suffered from interference, and never
knocked out our WiFi. The Baby Monitor has various other features like a
temperature monitor and can also play several lullabies, but the product's
biggest selling point is that it works. And in my experience with baby monitors,
that's saying a lot.

Link to buy the Baby Monitor,

Link to the Philips product page

Wake Up

This is about a band, The Arcade Fire, who are known for giving their fans a little bit extra at performances. They're well on their way to bigger things in the world, and who knows how much longer they'll be able to reach out to their fans quite like this.

It reminded me of that first time I saw The Arcade Fire. Some of the details are fuzzy, but I think they were on the same bill as The Constantines and Jim Guthrie. It was October 2003, and they were playing The Horseshoe Tavern. It was before Funeral came out and the band exploded everywhere, and I had no idea who they were: I was there for The Constantines. This was one of those nights where I couldn't find anyone else to go with, so I just went by myself, which was good because I would have missed out on discovering Arcade Fire for myself, and bad because I sort of wish I had someone with me that I could share that story with and say:

"Do you remember when there was that breakdown during the show and the amps went dead? Regine's keyboard was still working, so she started playing the 'Super Mario Brothers' theme music until everything was working again..."

and watch them smile at the memory. I must have fallen for that band hard, like a high school crush: I wouldn't shut up about that gig for weeks. I get that way when I fall for a woman too. This video reminds me about that magic of finding a band, and love at first sight, something that one tends to forget in these static grey months of winter. This video is about joy.

During their 5 night stand in London, The Arcade Fire performed an impromptu encore in the foyer of the Porchester Hall.

• Chris Martin of Coldplay saw a couple of the London shows, and can be seen briefly in the background of the opening of the video.
• Win Butler's entrance at the start comes moments after he got into a scuffle with venue security, who backed off.
• OK, maybe not backed off entirely. They're the pissed looking guys in suits behind the band.
• Oh yeah, Jim Guthrie, who I saw all those years ago? That's his little "Hands in My Pocket" jingle on the Capital One credit card commercials.
• The Arcade Fire's new album, Neon Bible is out March 6th, and the song "No Cars Go", which I heard at that gig and was on that first EP I bought, is on the new disc.
  

YouTube - Impromtu Wake Up - Arcade Fire in Porchester Hall foyer
Wikipedia - The Arcade Fire

Channel J

In which I deny being a shill for NBC, but they had a lot of comedy highlights this week:

YouTube: SNL - The Dakota Fanning Show
Bless Amy Poehler, this is another spot on impression.

YouTube: "30 Rock" from this week
How does anyone come up with "Do you know who we need for this episode of 30 Rock? Isabella Rossellini and Paul Reubens."

YouTube: "The Office"
I love the look of horror on Pam's face as Michael requires a bra model.

How Grown-Ups Are Born

Wow, did I ever need a laugh tonight, and lo and behold I find the trailer for Knocked Up, from the folks who brought you The 40 Year Old Virgin. Ben (Seth Rogen) and Allison (Katherine Heigl) hook up and have a one-night stand. Thank god for alcohol, the great equalizer that let's everyone have a chance ("You're prettier than I am!"). The two leave, never to see each other again. Well, that's how it's supposed to work. As you can guess from the title, circumstances bring them back together again.

Knocked Up (2007) R-Rated Trailer


Directed and Written by Judd Apatow.

Starring Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd, Katherine Heigl, Leslie Mann. Some additional actors show up from the Judd Apatow Repertory Players (alumni of Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, The 40-Year-Old Virgin) show up in the gangly forms of Jay Baruchel, Martin Starr, Jonah Hill (OK, not so gangly, but a funny man nonetheless), and Jason Segel. They're bringing the funny, and a few of those uncomfortably realistic scenarios (a guy's first instinct when he's told he's going to be a dad, pregnancy sex, etc.) that made 40 Year Old so funny.

This teaser trailer has a great exchange between Seth and Katherine. And how priceless is that poster? A similar design worked for 40 Year Old Virgin and is much funnier than this generic version. Just rely on the actor to sell you on the flick.

I've always liked Seth Rogen's self depreciating shtick, so I hope this is a breakout role for him.

The walnuts got caught in my firewall

If Windows Vista really wanted to impress me, it would allow me to download the brownies my friend baked this morning in Ottawa. Come on Gates, get with it.

OKAY, CAMPERS, RISE AND SHINE, AND DON'T FORGET YOUR BOOTIES 'CAUSE IT'S COOOOOOLD OUT THERE TODAY

It's Groundhog Day, the day when we rely on a fat hamster to tell us whether spring will be sooner or later than March 21st, for all you mavericks who distrust the reliability of the Vernal Equinox.

Don't let him drive angry.

Incidentally, it's early spring apparently this year.

*I know ALOTT5MA used the same title. Sue me, Groundhog Day is a classic movie.

sorry for the lack of posts this week. I'm catching up on some quarterly reports at work, and having internet connection issues at the house. I'll clear up and catch up this weekend.

Jason

Karma still hates you Wesley Snipes

While we wait and see if this is indeed the year that Martin Scorsese gets his Oscar, ALOTT5MA was nice enough to point out that the great filmmaker was also responsible for this. Apparently karma is A) not a Michael Jackson fan; and B) holds a grudge for a good long while.

Whenever the nominations come around, it's always fun to look at some of the embarrassing roles actors have played in the past, like how two-time winner Tom Hanks's claim to fame used to be the cross-dressing comedy Bosom Buddies. This year, I think the male nominees will have to build an extra wing onto the Hall of Shame to fit the big pile of cheese that is the past. :

• Peter O'Toole: Club Paradise, but King Ralph was pretty horrible too
• Eddie Murphy: too many to chose, but I've got to pick The Adventures of Pluto Nash
• Ryan Gosling: Breaker High (like Saved By The Bell, but on a cruise ship)
• Will Smith: Wild Wild West
• Forest Whitaker: Battlefield Earth
• Leonardo DiCaprio: The Man in the Iron Mask
• Mark Wahlberg: Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch (I'm positive that "Good Vibrations" never got anyone laid. Just saying.)

Also check out:
It's a Long Way from Breaker High to the Academy Awards by Jenster
and Best Actor? by brokenengine