Celebri-Don't

Don't willingly give the public or your enemies more ammunition for public relation battles:
At the unveiling of his Hollywood Walk of Fame star, Donald Trump boasted about his young son Baron, describing him as"strong, he's smart, he's tough, he's vicious, he's violent — all of the ingredients you need to be an entrepreneur". His son is 10 months old. What parent encourages that type of behaviour in a kid and brags about "vicious" and "violent". If Barron knocks down another child at the sandbox and takes their toys, does Donald refer to it as a new acquisition? Like Rosie O'Donnell will let that quote go unmentioned on The View. By the way, congrats on your crappy reality show getting crappy ratings. D-Bag. (source: TV Tattle.com)

Don't be afraid to repair your tarnished public image by spending a few nights in rather than go clubbing:
How bad is Britney Spears' reputation? She recently was turned down for a Super Bowl ad due to her being too much of a "trainwreck". The NFL network will go with their preferred choice: Paris Hilton. Nice Brit, you're the second choice to what I imagine herpes as a blonde. Britney also showed up on the annual Blackwell's worst dressed list, which was followed by her stylist immediately publicizing that she had nothing to do with that: "Yes, I’ve done Britney Spears, but don't blame me, okay? I make her up and she just takes everything off and does her own thing."

Don't blatantly flaunt your daddy issues in public:
Lindsay Lohan has been dating the Girls With Low Self-Esteem Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis.

Don't be afraid to bring out the big guns:
After Stephen Colbert's scathing performance at last year's White House Press Correspondant's Dinner, who does the White House bring in this year? Rich Little. Yes, the impersonator guy who, frankly, some of us assumed had died already, but apparently has not. Pretty blatant example of getting someone so inoffensive, so mild by comedy standards, that you are guaranteed Bush will be the funniest guy in the room and won't be criticized. This is like George Bush offering one, and only one, "no holds barred and, ask him any question" interview, and then giving that interview to Kermit the Frog for K-MPT news Elisabeth Hasselbeck from The View.

Edit: Nikita reminded me that there's nothing meek or tame about Kermit the Frog, as shown in a Daily Show clip where Kermit was the guest (yes really), and managed to get the better of Jon Stewart. The clip was pulled from YouTube a while ago, but it is priceless. So yes Nikita, I think Kermit is much more cutting edge than Rich Little. And Rich Little is to comedy as Elisabeth Hasselbeck is to journalism.

Could be worse: Michael Richards is always available. Always.