Sexile Island

In a conversation with a friend, I learned a new phrase:

Her: “…. So the three guys are rooming together at the hotel, but I’m worried that two of them may end up being sexiled.”

Me: “What the hell is sexiled?”

“Sexile” is something we’ve all done, but I never knew it had a proper name. It’s when you boot your roommate from the room/dorm/apartment so you can have sex. It’s a mutually beneficial move: the “sexiled” party doesn’t have to worry about overhearing anything (“Wow, she sure cries a lot during sex. Oh wait, it’s him”) and avoids the awkward post-coital encounter (“Hey, you’re the new girl"). One can be sexiled, as when you come home to find the door locked, or self-sexiling, when you walk in, realize someone is having sex in your room and you get the hell out of there before you see something you can't wipe out of your memory even with grain alcohol.

My first self-sexiled encounter came when I first moved into East Rez at University of Guelph. I walked into my room and my roommate and his girl were in bed. I immediately apologized, but then he says “Oh no dude, it’s all right, come on in.”

Um, no.

I crashed on the couch in the lounge after that. The lounge was shared between 10 other co-ed roommates, and most of my friendships with the other dorm-mates came from conversations that went: “You’re roommate’s a freak, let’s go to the Trash* and drink.”

* The Trasheteria in Guelph, where I learned to drink watered down Rye & Cokes for $2.50 while dancing to 90s alternative music. Good times.

There’s an episode of Judd Apatow’s TV series “Undeclared” that perfectly illustrates the “sexile” phenomenon. “Sick In The Head”, written by Seth Rogan (Knocked Up), finds the main character sexiled from his dorm room, and finding all the other sexiled roommates forming a support group in the rec room.

Self-sexiling is a "taking one for the team" move, and should be recognized as such. You may have to smooth over relations with the roommate (as the sexiled party) who was expecting to come home and chill, and now finds themselves kicked out of their own room. Maybe keep a stash of movie passes or coffee cards handy in the common area.

Being sexiled is more likely to happen when you’re sharing a room in a dorm or a hotel. The most common indication that you may be sexiled is a locked door and a tie/nylons/Native American headdress on the doorknob. Then you have no choice but to kill time at a coffee shop or the movies, or devising ways to pay back your roommate by, let’s say, sending religious brotherhoods to the door or hanging a “Mission-ary Accomplished” banner in the hallway. In the case of a hotel sexiling, you can order inappropriate room service to be sent up ("Sir, we've brought your dozen cucumbers, 2 jars of strawberry jam, a bag of adult diapers, and litre of baby oil"). That will likely serve as a lesson to sort out the sexile protocol before you head out on the town.

Cutting Off Those Little Fingers

NY Times has an interesting article on "kid's dining" in restaurants. Writer David Kamp suggests chicken fingers are representative of the bland fried food that forms the basis of children's culinary education. If every kid's menu is burgers, pizza, grilled cheese, fingers, and fries, then what type of palate are kid's developing? If "we are what we eat", does that mean our kids become bland, unadventerous, and fat saturated?

The article points out some restaurants are phasing out the ubiquitous battered and fried kid's menu, in favour of child size portions of adult fare: 4 oz steak, stir fry, pasta, chicken and smashed potatoes. In addressing nutrional concerns, they also allow for kids to try something new. Kids won't like everything, but eventually they'll find some new favorites. Why should parents need to order or prepare two sets of food for the adults and the kids? Take a chance and you may find the kids like cucumber soup, linguine with clams, or naan pizza. Even fast food restaurants are taking notice on the nutritional aspects, offering apple slices and carrot sticks alongside the default french fries.

So jump in: are parents finding any options out there for eating out with the kids? Do you remember your first "wow" moment as a kid trying new foods? Also: any good kid-friendly places in Toronto? From experience, I found several of the Roncesvalles Avenue area restaurants are kid-friendly, like Boho and Butler's Pantry, and have some non-finger options. Butler's was especially friendly, with a pleasant server who brought some spoons and cheerios for my friend's child to play with. And (whoo hoo!) it's looks like the Roncesvalles location has a liquor license now, just like the Bloor St and Queen St locations.

I know a lack of time and a fussy child can make the "chicken fingers" option an easy choice, but I get a kick when my young cousins (5-years and 8-years) are trying mussels, sushi, and stir fried mushrooms and snow peas. They get alot of different foods at a young age at home, so that's the place to start.

Don’t Point That Menu at My Child, Please
By DAVID KAMP
Published: May 30, 2007
America is in the grips of a nefarious chicken-finger pandemic, in which a bland tasting foodstuff has somehow become the de facto official nibble of our young.

Somewhere, in a factory in China, a bunch of guys are scratching their heads trying to figure out how to get the 200 metre tall cardboard standee Transformers that were ordered by a US marketing department into a packing crate.

They meant to request 200 centimetres, of course.

Thank goodness it was only for samples.

Rich Johnston, Lying In The Gutters (covering rumours and gossip in the comics industry)

"The evening gown competition is usually the most boring part of any beauty pageant. Usually. At last night's Miss Universe competition, Miss USA Rachel Smith demonstrated just how difficult it can be. You may want to watch this over and over again."

From ALOTT5MA

Bachelor Technique # 257

Click on the image for the rest of the strip

www.pvponline.com

by Scott Kurtz

I'm going to be mucking around with the layout of the blog, so don't be surprised if the website looks a little wonky. I'll have it back to normal by tomorrow.

Update: this is the new "normal" in progress

"LOST"? You bet we are.

Wow. I have to admit, “Lost” really pulled out one game-changer of a finale. Just some good crazy fun there. I mean that was a headtrip of a final scene, and made up for the not so great moments this year. For all my cheering of “Heroes”, they didn’t provide the big bang in the finale they way “Lost” did last night. If the producers needed to convince ABC to let them commit to 48 more episodes to finish off "Lost", THAT was the episode they would have used to get that unprecidented 3 year commitment. I wrote about the details on the plan to finish up "Lost" here. We have 8 months to sort this all out before the show returns with new episodes.

SPOILERS COMING UP IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED YET





So coming out of that, here are some thoughts:

The big change is the change-up with the flash forward. The producers haven’t let anything slip yet, but I think that when the show returns, we should find the show has jumped forward (remember with Island time it is still 2003) to the present, and the flashbacks will fill either fill in what happened between the rescue and suicidal Jack, or it will cover Island life because...

…maybe one of the reasons that Jack wants to find his way back to the island is that the beach-party (Hurley, Sayid, Bernard, Sawyer, Juliet, Des, Jin) are still stuck there. Something happened with the rescue and now nobody can find their way back to the island. That, and he realized he was happier on the island.

At what point did you figure out it was a flash forward? I thought something was up from all my mental gymnastics trying to figure out where Jack McBeardface fit into Jack’s past. I was guessing he was flying back from Thailand. But little things didn’t fit, like the very modern cell phone he was using. The scene that did it was the 2nd last one, where he’s in the room with maps all over the place. He’s trying to find his way back to the Island. Eureka.

And who the hell is in the coffin? I’m guessing Ben or Locke. If Jack is that obsessed with getting back to the island and insists they should have never left, then he would find the death of either of the men most tied to the island to be a sign that all hope is lost.

It’s certainly not Christian Shepherd, Jack’s dad, in the coffin. He was referred to several times in the flash-forward as if he was still alive. That’s not the drugs talking, the references were repeated and specific.

“A hero two-times over!” – that would be because Jack went into the burning car to save the kid and then back for the mom. If Jack insists to Kate “I’m sick of lying”, then the real story about what happened on the island probably is public knowledge. I think it was Ben who told Michael last year that even if he makes it back to the mainland and tells his story, who would believe him. And it’s not in Michael, or most of the castaways’ best interest, to tell the full story, seeing is how most of the Losties are responsible for some deaths and less than moral actions.

And no, that is not Sun and Jin sitting behind Jack on the plane in the opening. And I don’t think this was a future yet unwritten, or parallel universe, or hell, or a hallucination. Jack McBeardface is what has happened and where we’ve found ourselves now. To keep telling the story of the island and changing to flash forwards rather than flashbacks is too difficult to pull of storywise. A return to the mainland would allow some less necessary characters like Claire to go have a happy life, and allow others like Sun, Jack, and Kate to want to get back to find their friends.

What a great sacrifice from Charlie, trapped in a level from “Tomb Raider 2”. It really was.

I got a little chill when Charlie, tied to the chair, matter of factly tells the ladies how things were going to play out: “I die.” And the last act was to tell Des “NOT PENNY”S BOAT”. And so long Charlie. And if Penny didn't send the boat, then my money is on her father Papa Widmore as the bad guy Ben is referring to.

Does Claire ever get the note he left? Last week’s episode “Greatest Hits” was such a great redemption of Charlie. It made it all right to like him again, especially after the whiny jackass behaviour from last season. Great job to the writers and fine acting from Dominic Monaghan.

Return of the mad Russian. This guy won’t die! At the end of the series, he’ll be a little head and a thumb in a jar. Anyone speculating that Bakunin’s last name is Rasputin?

A great save from Hurley, who uses the bus that we thought was just a novelty item from Ben’s past, having repercussion. Would have like to have seen Ben’s face if he found out that Dad’s van was used to save the Losties. I thought Hurley was going to get himself killed, owing to all the “you’re going to get us killed” comments. Sweet footwork from Sayid too.

Line of the night goes to Sawyer: “That’s for taking the kid off the raft.”

And can we call him a kid anymore. He looked about 6’4”! I thought he was going to answer Locke in a deep voice “Call me Walter.”

Locke lives! And just as knife tossing crazy as ever.

Bernard lives! I thought they brought him back only to get killed. I actually thought they would follow through and kill the three guys.

I also liked Rose: “If you say the words 'live together, die alone' to me Jack, I'm going to punch you in the face.” Because really, that’s what I’ve wanted to do to the character several times this year. Remind me again, isn’t in her best interest to NOT leave the island, on account of her cancer being in remission?

Mother and daughter reunion! The absurdity of “Let’s tie up your father” cracked me up. That’s some real family bonding going on there.

Kate sure cleans up in the real world. She looks like every Survivor contest does at the reunion show. And is it too much to hope that the “him” she says she needs to get back to isn’t Sawyer, but maybe her cop husband from a few flashback back, Nathan Fillion (“Firefly”, “Drive”)?

Well, that’s it until February. The show certainly earned my interest back, and I can’t wait to see where they go from here. And if the show shifts next season to trying to find a way back to the island, then it certainly puts a multiple meanings on the title:

Lost.

10 Things You Don’t Know About Women

Here are 10 highlights from Esquire magazine’s "10 Things You Don’t Know About Women" column, written each month by a genuine honest to goodness woman-type actress. Guys will find at least one useful thing here, but probably more than one:

1. When a hot woman walks by and we ask if she's your type, refrain from saying things like "Nah, I like a woman with a little meat on her bones" as you give us a squeeze. (Jane Krakowski, “30 Rock”)
   
2. Don't bother with the G-spot until you've mastered the A, B, C, D, E, and F-spots. (Molly Shannon, “Year of the Dog”)
   
3. We're way more vulgar than you. We just aren't as loud. (Judy Greer, “Arrested Development”)
   
4. When you hug a woman at the end of a date, if you have any romantic intentions whatsoever, do not “bro-pat” her on the back. (Minnie Driver, “The Riches”)
   
5. Most of us respond favorably to even the most diminutive gesture of compassion. You will find that when provoked by, say, a simple card or a kind phone call, our capacity for forgiveness and benevolence could blow your mind. Yes, we are different from you in some ways, but we do possess resilient hearts that long to connect with you on a level that transcends mere gender. But come on, no balloon bouquets. What do you think this is? (Stacey Grenrock Woods, “The Daily Show”)
   
6. If we ignore you, it's not because we hate you. It might just be that we're in love with you and our gut is telling us that if we don't kiss you soon, we'll die. So we do everything to avoid the possibility of being rejected by you. It's preemptive. We're terrified. (Maria Bello, “The Cooler”, “History of Violence”)
   
7. When we say, "Oh, nothing," ask us what's wrong three more times. After that, you're off the hook. We're just being a headache and you should give up anyway. (Lauren Graham, “Gilmore Girls”)
   
8. Laughter and listening: These are the two bridges between your planet and ours. Do both with us often and we'll love you like crazy. (Annabeth Gish, “Brotherhood”)
   
9. Occasionally tell a funny girl you love her for her looks, and a pretty girl for her brains. (Caroline Rhea, comedian)
   
10. We can make a "celebrity safe list" if you want. But I am way more likely to get Patrick Dempsey to f*ck me in a bathroom than you are to get Lindsay Lohan to suck you off in your car. (Jenna Fischer, “The Office”)
    
11. Okay, wait. Maybe not Lindsay Lohan. But you know what I mean. (Jenna Fischer, “The Office”)

The CW Network: Yes we're still here

Not much to say on the new CW lineup. Their most interesting new show is “LIFE IS WILD” a family drama set and filmed in South Africa.

The CW 2007-2008 Line-up

There is no joy in Mudville, as "Veronica Mars" is indeed cancelled. While The CW didn’t outright say it, creator Rob Thomas said all the writers are signing on to other shows. At least it leaves the air relatively intact, without a slide into mediocrity or pretension.

What does come back? “One Tree Hill”, with the new season set 4 years later after the kids graduate college. So no “One Tree Hill: The Freshman Years”.

Also returning: “Everybody Hates Chris”, “The Game”,“Girlfriends”, “Smallville”, “Supernatural”, and “America’s Next Top Model”.

The Fox Network: Where Good Shows Go To Die

If you haven't been reading my blog, I consider Fox to be the "abusive nursing home" of networks, where new residents are wooed and promised to be taken care of, and then end up neglected and ultimately shuffle of this mortal coil prematurely.

It's not like I'm bitter over "Arrested Development" or "Firefly". Ahem.

Fox is coming off a brutal fall 2006. Out of their new shows from the 2006-2007 season line-up, only "Til Death" returns: made it: “Vanished”, “Justice, “Drive”, “Standoff”, “The Winner”, and “Happy Hour”all came and went. And yet “House”, “24’, and “American Idol’ still rake in enough ratings to keep Fox ahead of the other networks.

Peter Liguori, President, Entertainment, Fox Broadcasting Company, described it as “the most stable and most vibrant schedule ever presented by FOX”. Last year was also described as “the broadest, most stable and most vibrant schedule we've ever presented”. Hah.

Here are the new shows being added. Be sure to watch them, love them, and then mourn them as they are moved around, under-promoted, and ultimately cancelled halfway through a story arc in favour of “Extreme Bridal Meltdowns” or something:

Fox 2007-2008 Season

The one I’m looking forward to is "K-VILLE: a cop show set in post-Katrina New Orleans, starring Anthony Anderson (“The Departed”, “The Shield”) as a cop who never deserted his post during Katrina, and now faces a largely lawless city struggling to rebuild amidst the chaos and opportunists: New Orleans as modern frontier town ala “Deadwood”. His partner is played by Cole Hauser. It’s great to see Anthony Anderson in a dramatic role (although I could see Orlando Jones in the role as well). And good to see some attention being brought around to New Orleans, where two years have passed since America’s Shame and things are still not back to normal. I don’t know if they ever will be.

"NEW AMSTERDAM": centred around an immortal New York cop, exec produced and directed by Lasse Hallström. Yes, THAT Lasse Hallström, director of “The Cider House Rules” and “Chocolat”.

Fox must be expecting big things from the comedy "BACK TO YOU", which stars sitcom heavyweights Kelsey Grammar (“Frasier”) and Patricia Heaton (“Everybody Hates Raymond”). Kelsey Grammar plays a news anchor who sees his national news career scandalized and must now return to the local Pittsburgh station he started out from, back with the co-anchor he left behind (Heaton). The show also features Fred Ward (“Best in Show”, “Anchorman”), so they must be hoping for a bit of the “Ron Burgandy: Anchorman” vibe.

"THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES" is a 10-years too late spin-off of the characters from “The Terminator” movies.

"CANTERBURY'S LAW" stars Juliana Margulies (“E.R.” ) as an attorney who stops at nothing. There must be something special about it, because it sounds like every other attorney based show I’ve seen. Think “Ally McBeal” except you actually believe she could be a lawyer.

"THE RETURN OF JEZEBEL JAMES” which see Parker Posey (“Best in Show”) and Lauren Ambrose (“Six Feet Under”) starring as disfuncitonal sisters (there are functional ones?). Fox has more high hopes as this is the show Amy Sherman-Palladino (“The Gilmore Girls”) is running. So expect everyone to talkveryquickly.

Hopefully “THE RULES FOR STARTING OVER’ works out, just based on a concept most of my readers can relate to:

From the creatively fruitful minds of the Farrelly Brothers comes a single camera comedy, set in Boston, about a group of newly single friends learning the painful lessons of starting over in their 30s.

The cast include Shaun Majumder (Canadian comedian from “This Hour Has 22 Minutes”) and Rashida Jones (Karen from “The Office”).

FOX series returning in 2007-2008 include: 24, AMERICAN DAD, AMERICAN IDOL, AMERICA'S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK, ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?, BONES, COPS, FAMILY GUY, HOUSE, KING OF THE HILL, MADtv, PRISON BREAK, THE SIMPSONS, TALKSHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN and TIL DEATH.

They better hope their luck holds out. “American Idol”, despite the wishes of every other network, has yet to falter in a season, but “Prison Break” and especially “24” are dim shadows of their once buzz-worthy status. “The O.C.” followed a similar pattern and is now gone.

Double shot of chef Gordan Ramsay coming up this year. A second season of Hell’s Kitchen plays this summer, and we’ll see one of my favourite shows “Kitchen Nightmares” make the trip over from England. “Kitchen Nightmares” follows Gordan Ramsay as he tries to turn around failing restaurants. If you think the Canadian hit “Restaurant Makeovers” is good, wait until you see Ramsay rip into chefs and owners who have no business being involved with a restaurant and tries to light a spark under them. Gordan also manages to be a bit more humane in this show, especially when he finds a talent going unnoticed in the kitchen and nutures their potential. I always enjoy Gordan Ramsay’s shows. Just so long as I am not on the receiving end of his abuse.

Surprisingly, Brad Garrett’s series “Til Death” was renewed. Fox is probably hoping to pair it with “Back To You”, which stars another former “Everybody Hates Raymond” cast member, Patricia Heaton.

Funny to see “King of The Hill” coming back for another season. It’s one of those shows that’s been on forever, I don’t make an effort to watch, but enjoy whenever I catch the odd episode.

CBS Fall 2007: Crime is Money

CBS Line-Up for Fall 2007

CBS has handful of interesting new shows that aren’t their typical “crime procedural” shows that form the bulk of their schedule. The network is looking to create some buzz, as they are in the odd position of being the most-watched network, but nobody really talks about “The Unit”, “Without A Trace”, or “Criminal Minds”. Some interesting dramas, but nothing really jumps out at me:

• “Viva Laughlin”, a remake of the Brit hit “Viva Blackpool” (which starred David Tennant, currently playing Doctor Who), is a musical gangster story. Hugh Jackman plays a part and is the producer. I may check this one out just for the sake of morbid curiosity.
• “Cane” Jimmy Smits returns to TV as the head of a Cuban-American family running a rum and sugar plantation. Think “The Sopranos” but in Miami instead of New Jersey.
• “Moonlight” a vampire private investigator, which was the main premise originally of the Joss Whedon series “Angel”. Meh.

An interesting choice for a mid-season drama is “Swingtown”, best described by What’s Alan Watching as “Ice Storm: The Series”. The Ice Storm was a brilliant but dark Ang Lee directed movie about the frayed edges of suburban life in the swinging 70s, emphasis on “swinging”.

New reality show is "Kid Nation," where 40 kids are put in a town with no real adult supervision

Video previews are up on the CBS site.

“How I Met Your Mother”, “Shark”, “Rules of Engagement”, and “Criminal Minds” are all back, and "New Adventures of Old Christine" pops up in the mid-season with a reduced episode order.
Not returning: “Jericho”, which I thought had picked up steam story-wise in the second half of the season, but saw a massive drop of ratings after the winter break.

"The Amazing Race" isn’t on the schedule, but will likely return mid-season.

All three C.S.I. return, and I have to think the resolution of the C.S.I. season finale rests on how poorly contract negotiations with Jorja Fox go (there was a rumour they had to re-shoot the finale as she refused to film her death scene).

New comedy being dropped into Monday is “The Big Bang Theory” with two physicists being taught about life and love by their hot and sexy party girl neighbour, who also is an aspiring screenwriter. Think “Two Guys, A Girl and a Particle Accelerator”. The party girl role in the original pilot last year was played by ex-Much Music VJ Amanda Walsh, and the role has been recast with Kaley Cuoco, "8 Simple Rules...". Don’t sweat it Amanda, you dodged a bullet on that mess. Amanda Walsh was in the funny but cancelled ABC show “Sons & Daughters” last year.

I'll get around to blogging about the weekend later today. Post-long weekend is busy, so I'll update the blog tonight.

Weekend included:

• a "thumbs-up trip to Solferino Gelato Cafe in downtown Toronto
• an encounter with "The Interloper"
• a great gig by the surf-rock party band "The Calrizians" at The Dakota Tavern (including a surf guitar rendition of Ozzy Osborne's "Crazy Train")
• the latest in a continuing series of going away parties for one friend
• a Victoria Day picnic with a touch too much sun, and confirmation that see-saws are still fun
• some moron conducting a "Show Your Kids How To Use Roman Candle Fireworks In The Middle of A Park in the Afternoon" session

Pepperpot: Chatting with you over morning coffee

Good Scot? No, Great Scot.

Scarlett Johansson, whose screen credits include "Lost in Translation" and "In Good Company," will star as Mary, Queen of Scots, in an upcoming historical film epic.


You'd think Spidey would just send it out for dry-cleaning.

The latest "Comic Companys Hate Women" debate has started due to this statuette of Mary Jane Watson (from Spider-Man) that is being released. It's based on the comic book version of MJ, who is Mrs. Spider-Man, in the very "sexy" act of washing her husband's uniform. There are so many things wrong with this statue it makes my head hurt: the thong, the physically impossible anatomy, the ripped jeans with plumber butt, the pearl necklace, or the fact that Spidey doesn't wash his own longjohns. Take any of that.

I wonder if this is how Alfred the butler washed the Bat-suit.

There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Barney is showing off his "relationship-proof" apartment. This statuette would be in it, right between the Stormtrooper armor and the tastefully lit bookshelf full of porn.

Right in the Facebook

I'm not necessarily surprised that my work seems to have blocked access to Facebook. I doubt it's based on actual user stats, but due to the publicity generated by the Ontario Government and other corporations blocking the site based on its affect on productivity. What is amusing is the backlash the Edge 102.1 Facebook contest is generating. The idea is whoever starts a group on FB that generates the most traffic wins $7000. The funny bit is that people have been starting groups like "Help (name) win $7000 from Edge 102". Some of these groups are up to 800 people, but Facebook has been shutting down many of these groups. Why? Because it counts as solicitation. This morning I heard that some folks are complaining to Edge 102 and Facebook. Suck it up people. It's a contest. Now you have to go out and make an actual group with an actual purpose, rather than the internet equivalent to pan-handling.

"Sorry, what was the question?"

What a sweet and wonderful closing to this season of "The Office". Best closing scene ever. How much do we love Jenna Fischer? Jenna acted the hell out of that under-stated yet pivotal scene, with her convincing herself that she and Jim had missed their shot, and then that interuption. Her reaction was the very definition of the word "beaming". It's the same look that I've seen on my friends' faces when they tell me they're getting married or having a baby. That's the look of radiant happiness, and she nailed it.

Shame that on the night of some of her best work, Jenna Fischer is recovering from fracturing her back. Jenna was out celebrating The Office's renewal for fall, and one mistep in her high heels sent her tumbling down some marble steps. Her rep said that while she broke four bones, nothing scary or near the spine was broken, and that Jenna would be healed up before filming starts on the next season. Get better soon Jenna! And watch the steps when you go pick up your Emmy!

Other favourite moments were:

• Jim's medal from the "Office Olympic" episode re-appears.



• The Schrute-bucks and Dwight's one day reign of terror.



• Pam stepping it up to be Dwight's right-hand woman (which no doubt irked Angela).



• And every moment between Michael and Jan's new twins.



• Creed's "blog".
  


• And before I forget, Ryan gets the job! The MBA grad with no actual sales experience gets the top sales manager job! You don't think that happens in the real world?

Ain't no love for "Scrubs"

On the flip side, "Scrubs" ended on a down note for me. Apparently the writers and creator-producer Bill Lawrence disagree on whether J.D. and Elliott belong together, with the writers for it and Bill Lawrence says that story ran it's course. I agree with Bill, because that ending to the season just left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm glad they have 18 final episodes to clean up the mess and allow J.D. to man up and get with his baby's mama (Elizabeth Banks, who I adore even though the role isn't fully capitalizing on her comedic skills).

I love the crap out of "Scrubs", and even I'm losing patience with J.D., who shows he hasn't learned a damn thing. The past season has seen great work from the actors, but some lousy plotting. "Scrubs" has slipped down from my #1 TV comedy spot, as it is now bring up the rear behind "The Office" and "How I Met Your Mother". If "30 Rock" comes strong next season, it's going to slip further. I've got faith that the "Scrubs" can turn it around in the home stretch, now that a firm end is in sight.

Interesting trivia: a few episodes back, Carla (Judy Reyes) asked Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) if he ever saw ghosts. He denied it, and then we see him reacting to the ghost of Jill Tracey (Nicole Sullivan) following him around. It was cute, but didn't make much sense because their was no real reason why her death would haunt him. According to th podcast commentary, it was supposed to be Ben (Brendan Fraser) who haunted Dr. Cox, as he did during one of the best episodes of the series, but a scheduling conflict prevented it. No disrespect to the wonderful Nicole Sullivan, but that gag would worked so much better with Brendan's character based on the history of Cox and Ben. I can picture it, with Ben popping up with his camera to take Perry's photo. I wonder if they'd re-do it for the DVD? Probably not.

ABC's got nothing to laugh at

More from the upfronts this week, here’s the scoop on ABC’s Fall Line-up. Their strategy seems to be a repeat of last year’s “throw everything we’ve got and see what sticks”. Worked well last year , as the only carry-over from last season are “Ugly Betty” and “Brothers & Sisters”. Not one comedy or serial drama (“The Nine”, “Daybreak”, and comedy is taking a back seat to reality shows and hour long dramas, which is understandable given I can’t remember the last time the words “ABC” and “hit comedy” showed up in the same sentence. It may have been 1987. Some have described the new schedule as smelling of ABC's desperation to capitalize on its hits ("Grey's Anatomy", "Ugly Betty", "Dancing With The Stars") and their goal is to be the "chick magnet" network.

The show I'm looking forward to and the best buzz I’ve heard is for Bryan Fuller’s “Pushing Daisies”, described as “a forensic fairytale about a young man with a very special gift”. Bryan Fuller’s had a hand in several of my favourite shows, as executive producer or co-exec on “Heroes”, “Dead Like Me”, and “Wonderfalls”. It centres around Ned, who figures out he’s able to bring the dead back to life with his touch. He uses the ability for his own gains until his childhood sweetheart, Chuck, back from the dead (not in a zombie sort of way) and keeps her alive. Chuck challenges Ned to use his abilities to help others, and things go pretty well for Ned and Chuck, except for the fact that if Ned ever touches her again, she'll go back to being dead, this time for good. Kind of a whimsical “Dead Like Me” mixed with a mythical touch of Orpheus. This one is my pick for best new show, which means it's doomed.

The other strong show, based on cast alone, is the drama “Big Shots”, about the lives of four professional men and the friendship they share. The four principal actors are: Michael Vartan ("Alias"), Dylan McDermott ("The Practice"), Christopher Titus ("Titus" – man that was a dark and funny show), Joshua Malina ("The West Wing" and “Sports Night”).

ABC picked up that sitcom "Cavemen" about cavemen living in modern Atlanta, based on the series of ads from Geico Insurance. “ Cavemen is a unique buddy comedy that offers a clever twist on stereotypes and turns race relations on their head” which translates into “we can make an offensive show, and no one will protest it because, hey, no cavemen advocacy groups”. You know when the last time cavemen were popular? "Encino Man", the movie with Brendan Fraser as a thawed out dude of a caveman, and inflicted Paulie Shore into the world.

They dropped “George Lopez”, the long running sitcom that as far as I can recall is the only Latino comedy on the air and, while not a hit, has been a solid performer. To put it mildly, George is muy pissed at being unceremoniously dropped in favour of cavemen hi jinks.

From ex-Kid In The Hall Bruce McCulloch comes the sitcom “Carpoolers”, about a group of four men who share a ride to work each day and navigate the mess of their own lives. Judging from Bruce's post-Kids output, I'm not betting the farm on this one.

The quick hit summary:

New Series Include "Big Shots," "Carpoolers," "Cashmere Mafia," "Cavemen," "Dirty Sexy Money," "Eli Stone," "Miss/Guided," "Private Practice," "Pushing Daisies," "Sam I Am" and "Women's Murder Club"

New Alternative Series "Oprah's Big Give" Slated to Debut

Returning Series Include Previously Announced "Brothers & Sisters," "Men In Trees," "Ugly Betty," "Grey's Anatomy," "Lost," "Desperate Housewives," "Boston Legal," "Jimmy Kimmel Live," "Dancing with the Stars," "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," "The Bachelor," "Supernanny," "America's Funniest Home Videos" and "Wife Swap"

"October Road" and "Notes from the Underbelly" are also to Return for Second Seasons

I never thought I'd refer to Gilmore Girls and Halo in the same post

• Near the end of September, you'll find it's going to be easier to drive to work, to find a seat at the restaurant, to walk the streets with bumping into anyone you know. A sizeable chunk of the work force will come down with "the flu" and the pizza delivery business will experience an upsurge. Just stay clear of the chaos at Best Buy: on September 25th, Halo 3 for X-Box 360 is hitting store shelves.
• That's it for the chatty women of Stars Hollow, as "Gilmore Girls" wrapped up last night. "What's Alan Watching" shares some thoughts on the finale, and "Jen at No Such Nonsense" shares her favourite moments. Maybe we can hope for a new series with Matthew Perry & Lauren Graham together. Please? I endured through "Studio 60", and you all endured through the disappointing Amy Palladino-less final season of "Gilmore Girls". Don't we deserve something?
• Sorry to deliver more bad news, but things aren't looking good for fans of "Veronica Mars" fans. At this time last year, we had the new CW network scheduling Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls on the same night. We had such high hopes. TV, you are a cruel mistress.
• I'm looking forward to a quick trip to the shops to prepare for the long weekend: Michael Chabon's new novel "The Yiddish Policeman's Union" is on the shopping list (N.Y. Times review here). It's a mash-up of different genres: a hard-boiled detective novel in the tradition of Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler , set against the backdrop of Alaska, where history played out differently than our own and instead of Israel, the Jewish people settled in Alaska. I've seen nothing but good reviews and I am really looking forward to reading it. Also on the shopping list are the new Feist album "Reminder" and the new Wilco album. All of this, and I still may find time to freshen up the blog design a bit.

Teeth on the Dial: Random Monday night TV stuff

One more "Heroes" to go for the season. Not everyone is walking out of there I suspect. I won't spoil anything, but this picture signifies the point in last night's 'Heroes" episode when my brain shorted out and only the most basic California surfer talk would capture the feeling: "Dude. That's just so #)%$-ing awesome."

Funny bit: among the comics Candace gave to Micah were several by Tim Sale, the artist who does all the "Isaac" artwork.

I have to wait until tomorrow to find out whether "How I Met Your Mother" is coming back next year. The odds are good, but weirder things have happened. It's such a good show, with last night's episode serving as a "just in case" finale. We all saw the ending coming, but it's the execution that makes it all work. It's just bloody clever. The chemistry among the cast is fantastic. And who hasn't known a couple who can't get a bite to eat at their own wedding?

If CBS does the unthinkable and drops this, I say NBC pick it up and run with that show. If HIMYM was on NBC, it would be a hit. On CBS, it's just sitting there. Check out this clip from a few weeks ago, with Barney dominating "The Price Is Right", all in an effort to impress the man he thinks is his father: Bob Barker.

NBC banking on more Heroes for the new season

This week is when the TV networks announce their Fall TV line-ups and we learn whether some shows are cancelled or not. First up is NBC. ABC is on Tuesday, CBS on Wednesday, with CW and Fox on Thursday.

The NBC Line-up

NBC is pushing "Quality over Quantity", taking chances on critically acclaimed but low viewership shows. This would be a very different schedule if NBC Entertainment President Kevin Reilly hadn't had his contract renewed, as he seems more willing to take the gamble on investing in shows that aren't breakout hits, a strategy that worked for "The Office". You can see some changes already in the conventional TV landscape (22 episodes, Sept - May season) with increased episode counts for several shows, and an effort to run Heroes uninterrupted.

NBC highlights:

More Heroes to come

Heroes got an early renewal order this year, but this week had some interesting details. We’ll get a full season with 24 episodes, plus a sort of spin-off “Heroes: Origins”. “Origins” will be 6 episodes, introducing new characters not seen yet, and at the end of the run the viewers will vote on which character they’d like to see join “Heroes”. This is an interesting move, allowing the producers to test out characters without adding onto the somewhat already crowded storylines of “Heroes”. “Origins” will air continuously for 6 weeks, either during the mid-season break or after the second season of “Heroes” ends. The plan is that we get 30 episodes of Heroes-related material uninterrupted.

Law & Order returns: Chung-Chung.

In a surprise move, all 3 “Law & Order” shows will continue. “Law & Order Special Victims Unit” was coming back for sure, but the other two were on the bubble with poor ratings this season. NBC is bringing back the original "Law & Order" for an 18th season, with "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" shipped off to the USA Network for its first-run episodes with encore airings on NBC. In order to bring back "L&O" for an 18th season, and save "Criminal Intent" from cancellation, Producer Dick Wolf was forced to cut production costs.

No word on the likely cast changes, but expectations are that Criminal Intent would like only focus on either Detective Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio) or Detective Logan (Chris Noth) rather than the current alternating teams. Fred Thompson, who plays District Attorney Branch, will likely leave "Law & Order", as speculation is that he will seek the Republican Presidential nomination.

Law & Order: Classic won’t return until mid-season (January 2008). This means that Law and Order: Classic will be two seasons away from tying and three seasons away from breaking the Gunsmoke record for longest-running prime-time program

Additional notes:

• The Thursday night comedies remain, with NBC ordering 30 half-hours of the hit series “The Office,” including five hour-long episodes, and also have increased the season order for "My Name Is Earl" to 25 episodes.
• "E.R." will return, but producers will look at the numbers in October to determine whether it’s the last year or not. There was an initial ratings surge this season, but then a drop off in the past few months.
• "Scrubs" returns with a final season, shortened to 18 episodes. This shortened season was likely the only way the show was coming back on NBC, as Zach Braff’s new contract is prohibitively expensive (some put it at about $300,000 per episode, making him the highest paid actor currently on air). I'm glad to see one of my favourite shows getting to close up shop properly, rather than getting the rug yanked out from under them.
• "Friday Night Lights" was renewed with a full 22 episode order. The bad news is it is moving to Fridays at 10, when most football fans are at the very games the show depicts.
• "Studio 60" is dead dead dead. Ditto for "Crossing Jordan".
• Jerry Seinfeld, returns to the network to create and star in 20 unique live-action comedy “minisodes” inspired by his experiences creating the upcoming DreamWorks animated feature film "Bee Movie".
• Five new dramas. I won't make any predictions, as I never would have guessed "Studio 60" would bomb and "Heroes" would take off:
• "Lipstick Jungle", about three high-powered professional women "making it big in the Big Apple". Based on the novel by Candace Bushnell.
• "Bionic Woman" a remake of the 70s series from some of the creative types behind "Battlestar Galactica".
• "Journeyman" sort of Quantum Leap meets The Time Traveller's Wife.
• "Chuck", a "comedic spy thriller" about a computer geek thrust into the spy world, from Josh Schwartz ("The O.C.) It's sort of like if they spun-off Marshall from "Alias" into his own show. Bonus: Adam Baldwin (Jane from Serenity/Firefly) as Chuck's protector. I'll give this one a shot.
• "Life" where a detective returns to the police force after serving a prison sentence for a crime he didn't commit.
• Only one new comedy: "The I.T. Crowd" about two I.T. workers in a large corporation. You won't see any new comedies launched in September at this point, as this is only a 6 episode mid-season replacement. Quite a change from the "Give Any Stand-Up Comic A Show" era of the 1990's.
  
  What’s Alan Watching notes on the NBC upfronts.

With notes from What’s Alan Watching, TV_Tattle.com and ALOTT5MA

Last week's concert with The Killers at ACC

Thanks to the fine folks at Edge 102 and my brother, I got the chance to see The Killers last week from a private box at the Air Canada Centre. To paraphrase the great philosopher, Ferris Bueller: If you have the means, I highly recommend you acquire one.

I was genuinely pleased the concert went so well. I enjoy The Killers, but they're low on my "must-see" list of bands, but they sold me last Monday. I was surprised to see a band with only 2 albums playing an arena show, but damned if the place wasn't filled pretty well. I underestimated how well the songs from Hot Fuss and Sam's Town play in an arena. There's this anthemic quality to their music, 80s New Wave via Vegas. The best comparison I can come up with is that The Killers are a modern Duran Duran gene-spliced with The Smiths.

The openers were a band called The Red Romance. I hadn't heard of them before, but they were good. I'd want to hear more before I buy an album, but good New York garage band sound. I don't know if they were nervous about playing an arena, but they only had 4 lines of stage banter:

We're The Red Romance.
We're from New York.
We've never been here before.
We appreciate you guys.

Over and over and over. Which led to this post-opener discussion:

Karen: I hear they're the Red Romance.
Jason: Did you know it's their first time here?
Karen: That's probably because they're from New York.
Jason: Really? Well, they certainly seem to appreciate us.

Statler and Waldorf go to a concert.

The Killers hit the stage and didn't let up for 90 minutes. Lead singer Brendan Flowers has got a great voice, acting as tour guide on a trip through Sam's Town, with side trips into their breakout debut album Hot Fuss. I didn't recognize a couple of the Sam's Town songs, as I've only heard it all the way through once or twice. But for every song I didn't know, they're was some group on the floor excitedly bouncing up and down. I suppose every song is "someone's song". For my brother Jordan, Jessica and I, it was the closing song from the first encore "All These Things That I Have Done", with its building chorus of "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier". I was surprised there was a second encore, and hearing "When We Were Young" for a second time was a nice way to thank the crowd.

The box had great sight lines, and great service thanks to Melissa, our hostess, who kept us flowing in beer, pizza and ice cream bars (not a low calorie night). Quote from my brother's friend: "Dude! They've got hot dogs! For free!" Comfortable balcony seats are the way to go, and I was feeling a bit spoiled. The bonus was receiving an Alpine Blackbird GPS navigation unit as well, which means I have a GPS unit that's worth more than the car it's in. The only thing missing were bags to carry them in: it makes you feel like a bit of a target when 10 people are carrying boxes labelled "Alpine GPS" try to move through a crowd and down Spadina Avenue.

I'm not sure if I'd pay out arena ticket prices to see a concert with only The Killers, but if they're playing a smaller venue, sharing a bill with someone, or playing an outdoor venue like Molson Amphitheatre, I'd recommend checking them out. I'm looking forward to seeing them again.

Thanks again to Pina from the Edge, Melissa from Rogers Centre, whoever it was from Alpine that hooked us up, and my brother for thinking of me when he had to pick 9 friends to go with him.

Pictures are up on the Edge 102 website.

The Killers - MySpace

The Killers - official site

"Funtivities"

Reminder of the final +nurse gig at the Gladstone Hotel (1214 Queen St West) tonight. And the pillow fight smackdown at Nathan Phillips Square tomorrow.

Quotes:

"None of those reasons mattered until I met you."

- Pam (Jenna Fischer) to Jim on last night's priceless episode of The Office.

That episode should be her Emmy submission, and it officially got me back on to "Team Pam".

"Newsarama: Finally Grant, could you ever see yourself doing something like this again?

Grant Morrison: No. It's a bit like having sex with a jellyfish: once might an interesting experiment, twice would be perversion! "

Newsarama interviews Grant Morrison on the completion of the weekly comic book series "52"

"At last, we see the secret that lies in Spider-Man's heart: It's Peter Parker's desire to dance as if he were in a revival of Cabaret."

Owen Gleiberman's review of Spider-Man 3 (B-) in Entertainment Weekly

How To Equip A Kitchen (that room with the microwave)

Here's a timely article for those of you new condo or home owners, apartment renters, or if you want to use the kitchen for more than microwaving popcorn. The Accordion Guy blog pointed out this useful article in the N.Y. Times this week :

"$200 can equip a basic kitchen that will be adequate for just about any task, and $300 can equip one quite well."

This makes for a very useful Kitchen Essentials checklist (click on the image on the left) for those of you moving into a new space: nothing like making that first meal and realizing how much of the kitchen stuff belonged to your ex-roommate or parents. You ever try to flip a pancake using a ladle?

The key here is to go to restaurant supply shops, which have the good quality but cheap stuff the restaurants use. Some of the items could also be found at IKEA, where a number of restaurants I know get their flatware, glasses, and dishes. I'd probably do the same, and for everything else I'd stick with the restaurant supply store.

Most major cities have several to choose from: just Google your city's name and "restaurant supplies" or "restaurant equipment". With so many restaurants in Toronto, we have plenty to choose from. The ones I'm most familiar with are U-Deal at 599 College Street, where there are lots of restaurants in the area and a lot of turnover, and Dinetz Restaurant Equipment Ltd at 231 King Street East, near the George Brown College culinary school.

I'll take a trip with the NY Times list and do a Canadian price comparison. Before I do though, what "essentials" are missing from the list? And how is IKEA's quality on the pots, pans, and other kitchen essentials?

Source: Accordion Guy: The $200 Kitchen

Pillow Fight Smackdown in Toronto this Saturday!

Grab the linen and start the swingin': Newmindspace holding their second massive public pillow fight in Toronto this coming Saturday at 3 p.m. in Nathan Phillips Square. And it should be huge, based on the number of accounts who've added the Facebook event.

Be sure to check out and subscribe to the Newmindspace site:

"Newmindspace is interactive public art, creative cultural interventions and
urban bliss dissemination based in New York and Toronto."

Some of the events include subway parties, Easter Egg Hunts, Capture the Flag and more fun stuff for grown-ups who aren't too grown-up to have fun.

Some ground rules (care of Accordion Guy) to make the event enjoyable for all:

• Soft pillows only!
• Swing lightly, many people will be swinging at once.
• Do not swing at people without pillows or with cameras.
• Remove glasses beforehand!
• Wait until the signal to begin.
• Spectators welcome, but consider bringing a pillow

For more info, check out the newmindspace page for the pillow fight.

Sources:
Blog T.O.: Newmindspace Pillow Fight 2: Apocalypse
Accordion Guy: Pillow Fight Toronto This Saturday!

Summer Music Festivals offering bang for the buck

Here are some of the major festivals coming up in the next few months. No word on whether Broken Social Scene are hosting another day out at Olympic Island in Toronto.

Bonnaroo
Manchester, Tennessee
June 14th - 17th

The 2007 Bonnaroo Music and Arts festival will be held on June 14-17. This year, more than 100 bands and 20 comedians are scheduled to perform on 13 stages during the 4 day weekend.

The incomplete list of bands/musicians announced to appear are as follows: The Police (as part of the reunion tour), Tool, The White Stripes, Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals, Wilco, The Flaming Lips, Manu Chao, Franz Ferdinand, The Roots, The Decemberists, Wolfmother, Spoon, Fountains of Wayne, Feist, Lily Allen, and more


Lollapalooza 2007
Grant Park in Chicago
August 3rd-5th

After a failed revival as a travelling festival in 2004, the show was re-tooled into an annual festival in Chicago.
Lollapalooza Line-Up:
Pearl Jam, Daft Punk, Ben Harper, Muse, Iggy & The Stooges, Modest Mouse, Interpol, My Morning Jacket, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Snow Patrol, The Roots, Patti Smith, Kings Of Leon, Spoon, Lupe Fiasco, TV On The Radio, Pete Yorn, G. Love, Amy Winehouse, LCD Soundsystem, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Silverchair, Femi Kuti, Yo La Tengo, Hold Steady, M.I.A., Blonde Redhead, Sparklehorse, Son Volt, Motion City Soundtrack, Polyphonic Spree, Peter Bjorn & John, Silversun Pickups, Tapes N Tapes, The Fratellis, Tokyo Police Club, Cold War Kids, Sam Roberts and more


Ottawa Bluesfest
A series of shows at various sites in Ottawa
July 5th - 15th
Performers include: Bob Dylan, George Clinton & P-Funk, Metric, Kanye West, Sarah Harmer, Manu Chao, INXS, Joel Plaskett, The White Stripes, Steve Miller Band, Shout Out Out Out, Cat Power, AlexCuba, DJ Champion. Well, that line-up is all over the map.


Wolfe Island Musicfest
Wolfe Island, Kingston
August 10th and 11th

Wolfe Island is one of the Thousand Islands outside Kingston, Ontario

Headlining act on the Saturday, the main day of the fest, will be Wolf Parade.
Rest of the lineup includes Holy Fuck, Apostle Of Hustle, Chad Van Gaalen, Born Ruffians, Spiral Beach, Basia Bulat, The Abrams Brothers, The Ride Theory, Nich Worby and Weeping Tile.


Hillside Festival
Guelph Lake, Guelph
July 27-29, 2007

Line-up includesAni DiFranco, The Dears, Alejandro Escovedo, Blackie and the Rodeo Kings, Ron Sexsmith, Shout Out Out Out Out, Apostle of Hustle

Weekend passes are sold out already but day and evening may still be available


The Rogers Picnic
Fort York, Toronto
July 29th

Featuring The Roots, Bad Brains, Bedouin Soundclash, Apostle of Hustle and others. Sounds like a block party in the sunshine to me. Tickets are around $49.50


Virgin Festival
Toronto Islands, Toronto
Sep 8-9, 2007

Day 1: Bjork, Interpol, M.I.A., Artic Monkeys, Amy Winehouse, and more
Day2: Smashing Pumpkins, The Killers, Metric, The Hives, Tokyo Police Club, and more

"Lost" end in sight. If only Gilligan's Island had planned it this way

It's an unprecedented but necessary decision: ABC announced that Lost is coming back next season and plans for a firm ending in sight.

• The show will run for 3 more seasons.
• Each season to run 16 episodes, rather than the normal 22-24 episodes most shows do in a season, for a total of 48 episodes.
• Each 16 episode "season" will run uninterrupted, followed by a hiatus of some length. (Likely, new episodes January-May non-stop, similar to what we've seen the second half of this season.)
• Producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse both get hearty paydays and development deals. No word on casting commitments, but I wouldn't trust them anyway. 48 more episodes is plenty of time to kill off characters. Who's going to be left standing at the end at this rate?

This season has suffered from lowered ratings and uneven writing. The ambitious scheduling plan of airing the first six episodes in a row, followed by twelve weeks with no episodes at all, and continuing consecutively with the next sixteen episodes, failed to capitalize on the show's momentum. Fans complained that the first six episodes spent too much time away from the beach cast, and kept everyone apart for too long. Also unpopular was the amount of time spent amongst The Others with no terribly compelling reveals, and the untimely end of the popular Mr. Eko (the actor chose this time to leave the show).

Since the break, I've been enjoying some great acting from Yunjin Kim as Sun and Henry Ian Cusick as Desmond. I love any scene with Terry O'Quinn as Locke (despite his Gilligan-like tendency to screw up escape plans) and Michael Emerson as Ben, and Josh Holloway as Sawyer acted the hell out of his scenes last week. Desmond's "unstuck in time" episode stands out as a favourite. Even Kate's last flashback wasn't half as annoying as her previous ones.

Now with a firm schedule leading to the end, the producers can nail down a timeline and plan everything out. ALOTT5MA pointed out that this will take the show up to 120 episodes, and if we follow the show's average "1 episode covers 3 days of Island time" formula, that will take us to about a year of Island Time for the castaways.

BTW: Anyone else worried about Sawyer being added to The Island mortality rate? He's accomplished his life's ambition, he's in love, and he's had sex on The Island. Surely these are all very bad signs based on what we've seen of Libby and Shannon. Plus he's helped out Locke, something that certainly helped shorten Eko and Boone's lifespan.

This week's episode centres around Ben's flashback.

Weekend wrap-up

This weekend was a great kick-off to the summer. I ended up doing alot of "summer time" things: softball, BBQ's, drinks with friends, and big dumb summer movies.

Brunch at Bar One:
Bar One is a great little bistro on Queen Street by Ossington, with a delicious brunch menu. Trev's pancakes were massive, Steph went with the steak and eggs, and I demolished an order of the sausage and potato hash with baked eggs. Nice patio in the back, with soundtrack provided by Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins' album "Rabbit Fur Coat".

We also discussed the pros and cons of a t-shirt I could wear when I take my friend's little one out for a walk or to the zoo, but don't want women to assume I'm the dad or married:

"Are you my baby's mama?"

The list was mostly cons.

Spins a web, any size:
Watched an early Saturday matinee of Spider-Man 3. It was a big fun blockbuster, whose story suffered from trying to cram in too many concepts and plots. This movie represented the end of director Sam Raimi and the cast's contractual obligation, and any other sequels would involve re-negotiation, a new director, and/or new cast. I think that they had enough ideas for 2 films, but wanted to show off everything just in case they didn't come back for a fourth.

The action and effects were terrific, and Tobey Maguire induced alot of uncomfortable squirming (in a good way) as he portrayed the uber-dorky "Dark Peter". Kirstin Dunst's singing sure made it believable that her character would be fired from a Broadway musical. And the story relied on too many"conveniences" in order to move the plot along (Eddie and Peter happen to be in the same church, Eddie finding Sandman pretty easily, MJ needing a cab). The Peter-MJ-Harry interacting slipped into sappiness and sentimentality. They could have benefited from the Seinfled-ian maxim: No hugging, no learning.

That being said, the movie deftly tied everything together under the theme of "forgiveness", with the action scenes and villains being standouts in the movie, over-shadowing the schmaltz. Topher Grace was a fantastic as the gleefully, maniacally slimy Eddie Brock. Kudos for the Sandman character too, with a storyline, great effects, and superb acting from Thomas Haden Church that could have easily sustained another movie. I'd put the movie way ahead of X-Men: The Last Stand, but behind the first two Spider-Man movies, which isn't a bad thing: it was a good movie, better than most other efforts, and overall the three Spider-Man movies together don't show the wear and disappointment of other trilogies like X-Men and The Matrix. Worth it to catch it on the big screen.

Also, I really hope parents resist when the kids want to dress as the villainous Venom this Halloween: "Hey Mom! Can I dress in a black unitard and wander into the streets at night?"

Trinity-Bellwoods park:
A great big park in the city that captures everything fun and unexpected of living downtown: people of every background and orientation, doing everything from softball and picnics, to tai chi and one fellow practicing tightrope walking on a line rigged up between two trees. Just a brilliant day.

Not to mention an unexpected visit from an old friend, and great BBQ with chicken marinated Middle-Eastern style in yogurt, wild rice salad with slivered almonds, and homemade trifle. All of that was accompanied by bottles of Guinness Draught, a product which surprised me with how comparable it is to the actual draft stout: the bottles have the same nitrous widgets they put in the cans of Guinness. Nothing can replace a properly poured pint, but the bottles will carry me through.

All in all, pretty good kick-off to May. Tonight I'm seeing The Killers in concert at the Air Canada Centre. My brother won the "Edge 102 Big Night Out with The Killers" contest, so we get to see the show from a private box. Perfect, because while I like The Killers, there are a number of bands I'd pay to see ahead of them, and I'm not big on arena shows. Next week I'm going to catch The Arcade Fire at Massey Hall, which is more my speed.

Muffins, Books, and My Morning Jacket: Sounds Like Heaven

Let's start off with what must be the best muffin mix in the world: Chocolate Truffle Bread Mix from William Sonoma. Mix some up for muffins, drop a couple raspberries in the top before you bake them, and it's all decadent yummy goodness brother. My cholesterol just spiked reading the description.

The Chicago Sun-Times profiles Lester Bangs, and lists its favourite quotes from the legendary music critic. Popmatters writes an open letter to departed music critic Lester Bangs. Lester died, like many of the greats, too early in 1982 at the age of 33. You may recall Philip Seymour Hoffman brief but memorable turn as Lester Bangs in Cameron Crowe's semi-autobiographical film Almost Famous (a favourite of mine), acting as mentor to the main character. His work was ground-breaking, and the man himself a wise, confrontational force of contempt and adoration.

"Good rock 'n' roll is something that makes you feel alive. It's something that's human, and I think that most music today isn't. ... To me good rock 'n' roll also encompasses other things, like Hank Williams and Charlie Mingus and a lot of things that aren't strictly defined as rock 'n' roll. Rock 'n' roll is an attitude, it's not a musical form of a strict sort. It's a way of doing things, of approaching things. Writing can be rock 'n' roll, or a movie can be rock 'n' roll. It's a way of living your life."

If you like reading about music, or just want a good read, do yourself a favor and check out two excellent anthologies of Bangs' work, "Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung" and "Main Lines, Blood Feasts, and Bad Taste".

Also:

• My Morning Jacket, one of the bands I most want to see live, lists songs that get the band "in the mood" to perform for Harp. Pick up My Morning Jacket's beautiful live album "Okonokos: Live".

• The Onion AV Club presents 15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Did or Ever Will. Read Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

My idea of Heaven involves a coffee shop where I can sit down and talk with Kurt Vonnegut and Lester Bangs for hours, and eat those Chocolate Truffle and Raspberry muffins, while "My Morning Jacket" (who are still alive) play. I suspect the coffee shop might be a Starbucks. Those guys are everywhere.

Songs You May Not Have Realized Were Covers, also known as another excuse for me to praise Tom Waits

Blender magazine published a list of Songs You Didn't Know Were Covers. (source: ALOTT5MA)

Despite the fact that Blender is to music journalism what Bush (the Gavin Rossdale led band) is to Grunge, the list does have some interesting info, such as who actually originally did "I Love Rock and Roll" and "Tainted Love' . Here's a supplementary list of some songs you may have assumed were originals from the artists who popularized them:

You may be more familiar with the the criminally under appreciated Tom Waits than you thought: "Jersey Girl" performed by Bruce Springsteen, "Downtown Train" performed by Rod Stewart and "Ol' 55" performed by the Eagles are all covers.

“(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding”, usually associated with Elvis Costello, is a song written by English musician Nick Lowe

“All Along the Watchtower’ is familiar to most due to Jimi Hendrix, written by Bob Dylan. I never realized that until I googled the song after I heard it used it so well on the season finale of Battlestar Galactica. Hearing that song in that context was “WTF Moment #5” of that episode.

Oddly enough, I’ve found some people assumed “The Man Who Sold The World” was a Nirvana song, and aren’t aware it was originally done by David Bowie. Nirvana's cover on their MTV Unplugged in New York album re-introduced it to a new generation of music fans:

"In the wake of this cover, Bowie bemoaned the fact that when he performed the song himself he would encounter "kids that come up afterwards and say, 'It's cool you're doing a Nirvana song.' And I think, 'Fuck you, you little tosser!'"[1]”

I’ve always preferred The Clash version of “I Fought the Law”, but the original was first played by Sonny Curtis of The Crickets (Buddy Holly’s band). It was used in a "Cheers" episode, as Sam played it relentlessly to get under Rebecca's skin about her jailbird boyfriend Robin Colcord.

I only recently discovered that “Dirty Old Town”, one of my favourite songs and one I always associate with The Pogues, was originally done in 1949 by The Dubliners. And we come full circle back to Tom Waits, who apparently has played this live several times. I’d love to hear that in person, or at least have a copy.