Wednesday, April 04, 2007

*None of the described methods have been used or endorsed by myself, and I absolve myself of any and all damages, emotional or physical, should any knucklehead actually do any of these things. And to all my married friends: I'm telling you, it's a cold world out there.*

In our modern dating world, there are so many savvy ways to interact or dump someone. None of that face to face awkwardness, explaining "it's not me baby, it's you." Why bother with even a smidgen of self-respect, when you can dump the modern way. No need to own up to your actions when voicemail is so handy.

Post-it as dating tool: while "Sex in the City" had an infamous episode that sprang from being dumped via post-it note, they are a tool for the modern dater. Keep track of just who is laying next to you, or leave a breakfast order and wake up time.

Forward a Google-Map to the dumpee, giving the coordinates to the city of Dumpsville and leave an indicator "You Are Here".

Text message allows you all the immediacy with a cold, emotionless detachment that an emotional break-up requires. Why not take a cue from a guy who broke-up via text-message with blogger Carrie Broadshoulders, but was sure she would get over it because "U r 2 cool 2 b sad." (the2scoops: How do you text "Douche Bag?")

And of course if you really want to both help and hurt, why not illustrate your break-up with a Powerpoint presentation? A classic Accordion Guy post illustrates The Breakup Style of PowerPoint.


brokenengine said...

I was dumped via email. It sucked, and I was very confused. It just doesn't give ANY closure whatsoever, so unfair. It speaks so much more about the dumper than the dumpee.

Basically, if you got dumped any way than f2f, you're are WORLDS better off without the chump.