Notes from a happy guy with rest of the week off

Observations, lessons learned, and odd things I've picked up during my week of leisure:

• Daniel Day Lewis is my Best Actor pick in the Oscar pools this year. Hell, any year. The man is terrifyingly good in There Will Be Blood - he starts off obsessively ruthless, then he really loses it. Love or hate the movie, the performance is otherworldly - and so is that soundtrack. Composed by Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead), it provokes an ever-present unsettling sense of dread - you know the poem "The Second Coming" by W.B. Yeats, and how he describes a beast slouching towards Bethlehem to be born? I imagine the noise the beast would make would sound alot like Greenwood's movie score.
• My plans to see U2 in 3D in IMAX were thwarted when someone in programming thought that it made sense to have The Spiderwick Chronicles 3D Experience booked this week. I can understand daytime showings, but who the hell went to see a kid's fantasy film at the 10:15pm showing? You couldn't drop one concert film that appeals to those who can stay up past 10pm?
• Carlin Rule #103: if my dining companion spends more than 3 minutes describing her lingerie, I am legally entitled to see it.
• Remember the 90s band Tripping Daisy? They had that one hit "I've Got A Girl" - I had no idea that they eventually went on to form the choral symphonic rock band The Polyphonic Spree.
• I'm pretty damned happy with my new Sony w810i Walkman phone - i just got it through Rogers Wireless and it is sweet - great music player, clear call quality, sharp design, surprisingly good 2mp camera, and an easy to use interface. My only complaint, minor as it is: I can't seem to access any info in my contacts lists aside from names and phone numbers. I can add and edit the info, but can't view it easily. Otherwise, very happy with the upgrade.
• I am definitely in the market for an indie-music loving girlfriend. Tell your friends.
• That trailer for Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull has me hooked - I'm in. And how excellent is this summer movie season shaping up? Hellboy 2, Iron Man, Batman - The Dark Knight, Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, even freaking Speed Racer (way to stick to the original material Wachowskis!) all look like they're going to deliver great entertaining films that are faithful to the source material. I can't recall being so optimistically into a slate of movies.
• And finally, just how much ass is the new season of Lost kicking? Four solid episodes that have been delivering exciting revelations, great character moments, and a quick breathless pace.

The Male of the Species

Based on a conversation with a friend, I put this forth to my readers. The term cougar is used frequently (but not really justly, some taking offence) to describe an older woman who preys on younger guys, either in a dating or casual way. Some signs of cougar-ness include mom's wearing their daughter's clothes, and 40 -year olds wearing clubwear to work.

But to the question: in the interest of gender equality, what name do you have for the male equivalent of a cougar? The old mid-life crisis kicks in and you go trolling for 20 year olds.

We're going with the age old formula to determine age appropriateness: (Your Age/2 +7).

This ties in to the game I play at bars and restaurants called "Date or Daughter", as in "is that his date or his daughter?" If you're participating in this game, you might be a male cougar.

A friend suggested "Jackal", but I'd pick "Puma" or "Panther" just to keep it in the cat family.

Creepy old dude is applicable.

Answering "what do you call a guy who tries to pick up significantly younger women?" with "Jason" is not accepted.

• a "Liger"... a liger crosses the species boundry as much as a sleezy old man crosses the age boundry.
• Provided by an anonymous source: '"my boss"but that's not really the answer your looking for'
• I'd go with Coyote - cause most of the time they are out for themselves with little care to the rest of the world, oh and they're dumb to - picture "wile E Coyote"

Thoughts?

Scenes From A Weekend

Place: Going away party . The guest of honour is relocating to Vancouver, B.C. He's been asking my advice on every aspect of the transition: how to find work, should he go temp or hold out for full-time, what type of furniture to buy, should he consider a roommate. I could write a book.

SD: Hey Jay, what do you think is going to happen to me out there? How do you think I'll do?

Me (deadpan): I think you're going to get mauled by a bear.

Place: Foggy Dew pub on King Street birthday drinks with The Peterborough Two. A streetcar party/pub crawl comes in and one of the lager louts immediately makes a loud phone call.

Lout: Dude I'm so wasted we've been drinking Jamieson's all night and it's great!!! WHOOOOOO I'm so going to headbutt someone, it won't be me and I'm gonna headbutt someone tonight, some mutha is getting a big old headbutt toniiiiiiight OH YEAH Give me the intersecond (sic) and we'll hook up it's soooo great we're going to headbutt someone tonight YEAAAAHHH!!!! HEADBUTTTT!!!!

(No one was headbutted at the pub, and the pub crawl left for the next stop after 30 minutes. I had hoped to be called on to demonstrate the Scottish martial art of Feckyou, and headbutt him first. That, or walk up behind him and bounce his head off the table (a technique I learned from my friend T.)

Place: Outside Embassy Nightclub, I show up late to go in for a friend's birthday. 3 young guys are in front of me and are trying to get in, and the dress code at the bar is "Smart".

Bouncer: You guys can't get in. We have a dress code and you're not getting in wearing baggy pants and that. (indicates their golf shirts and sneakers)

Guy: So how do we gotta' dress to get in?

Bouncer (looks over, points to me): Like that guy. Come right in sir.

Sexile Etiquette Question

A response to a comment on Sexile Island:

Dear Mr. 2scoops

I read your post on “Sexile Island” and I have a dilemma. I’m going away with friends to Montreal. It's a co-ed trip. I have my own hotel room as do some of the other girls, and 3 of the guys are sharing one room. I’m worried that 2 of them will be “sexiled” and will want to crash out in my room. What should I do?

Signed, Miss Musing

Dear Miss,

If the guys get sexiled, you are in no way obligated to open your door to the sexiled refugees. It’s your room, you paid for it, and if they didn’t want to get kicked out of the room, they should have made different hotel arrangements then.

I don’t know how women treat the sexile situation, but if you’re a guy, you suck it up and take one for the team. You can payback an inconsiderate roommate later, but if you get kicked/locked out, the sexiled party do not compound it by inconveniencing someone else by barging in on their private space, or worse yet, interrupting your own hook-up.

Not to mention that above all else, a gentlemen doesn’t rouse a woman from her sleep by pounding on her hotel room door at 2AM, whining about how they got kicked out. The only time a man should be on your hotel doorstep at 2AM is if you ordered one from room service.

To the gentlemen: Suck it up cowboy and hit the bar.

Miss, you are not obligated to do a damn thing. Knock back a gin and tonic, pop in the earplugs, and pay no attention. They are men, and they know the risks of being sexiled when they signed up for that rooming arrangement.

Enjoy the weekend.

Signed, the2scoops