Friday, April 20, 2007

Here's our Silly Jason story for the day.

I accidentally took a step class yesterday.

Goodlife was holding a group exercise extravaganza, where they group 3 condensed classes together, show some new moves. I figured it's a good chance to incorporate a class into my gym routine, so I thought I was taking part in a "sampler-pack" beginners type of thing. What better way to attempt my first group exercise class. Ever. I mean, ever: to get cover the gym requirement for my high school diploma, I took racquet sports (any one for badminton?)

What I failed to realize is that I could have come in later for the section of the class I was interested in, not necessarily stick around for the whole thing 90 minutes.

The first 30 minutes was Step Class. I did not know that was part of the deal.

Let the comedy commence:

First Thought: Uh-oh, I'm the only guy in here.

Second Thought: Hey, I'm the only guy in here!

Third Thought: I’ve climbed stairs before, this should be a piece of cake.

Fourth Thought: Left, right, spin, lift.... um, this is going to take some coordination.

Fifth Thought: What was that she yelled, double time quick march?

Final thought: ow ow ow fricking ow

It was not pretty.

I stuck it out all the way through, while trying not to notice how I looked "stepping" in the mirror of the fitness studio. I am not a graceful man. I mean, I wasn't expecting to move like Muhammed Ali, but damn. And as a man, apparently I also don't follow directions well. At least not at full speed. I'm not sure this bodes well for salsa night.

After 30 minutes, the next class began, the one I was interested in:
"Body Pump is a barbell-training class designed to give you maximum results in
the shortest amount of time. Low on complexity, but high on fun"
Low complexity? Sounds right up my alley.

I made it through that stage of the class, burning through that necessary evil of workouts, the squat. You use a barbell with low weights and deliberate movement to achieve your results, pretty straight forward. I'm probably going to go back again.

But feeling good about that led to me getting cocky and sticking around for Body Combat:
BODYCOMBAT is the empowering cardio workout that totally unleashes your energy. This program is inspired by the martial arts and draws from a wide array of disciplines such as karate, boxing, taekwondo, tai chi and muay thai.

Uh-oh. Again.

Um, I apparently don't know how to roundhouse kick. Imagine a drunken mule trying to ballet dance, and that was how I pictured myself. One full kick and I pulled a calf muscle.

I stuck it out for the rest of the session, doing the punches and the the cardio stuff: running on the spot, jumping jacks, etc.


I will definitely try the Body Pump again, maybe once or twice a week. And step class is definitely not for me. The class were a great change of pace, but I am glad I worked out for a few weeks before attempting one cold. The instructors were accommodating and gave me some pointers for next time. Hey, attractive fitness instructors dig effort, right?*

The next thing I want to do is figure out a way to improve my coordination. I now recall that was the main hurdle in gym classes. Well, that and actual hurdles. #(*%ing high jump.

Any suggestions at improving coordination and balance? The only things that came to mind are a dance class or boxing.

*Fitness instructors are in a generally higher level of the dating hierarchy. Also included: attractive bartenders and Mac Cosmetic staff.


Nikita said...

Roundhouse kicks are very therapeutic... at least they are for the kicker.
I knocked over my kickboxing instructor with one of those things.

the2scoops said...

The reason instructors, bartenders and Mac counter girls are in that higher level? It's because they have heard everything before. Every line you can think of, they've heard and shot down.