Monday, March 06, 2006


The Brokeback juggernaut finally came to a halt, as 6 different pictures divided up the 6 main awards.

Ang Lee won Best Director for Brokeback Mountain, but it was a bit of an upset (woke me up as I started to nod off) to hear Crash win Best Picture. Good for canuck Paul Haggis on a first feature and a difficult, thought-provoking movie. With it's huge cast, Crash is another movie that justifies a Best Ensemble Award. It could have gone up against The 40-Year Old Virgin.

Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney (Syriana). "Well, guess I'm not winning Best Director." Charming and natural speech, this is a genuine Hollywood actor in the classic Cary Grant sense of the word. "Listen, I don't know how you compare art ... unless we all did the same role. Everybody put on a bat suit. Let's all try that."

Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardener). The annoucer cites her work in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns? Where's the love people? When Samuel L. Jackson wins, will they cite work in Deep Blue Sea and Snakes on a Plane?

Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon (Walk The Line). I was just waiting to see if she forgot to thank her husband Ryan Phillipe. Looks like he used up all his "I'm so happy for my wife" exhuberance at the Golden Globes.

Best Actor: Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Capote). Yay, this was one I was really glad to see. Aside from being an amazing actor in so many genres, his work in Capote was stellar, just disappears into the character. Well done, and a sweet speech giving tribute to his mom.

Pleased to see Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit win Best Animated Feature. None of the nominees were computer animated, all handcrafted. Beneath all the razzle dazzle of digital animation, you still need heart and a good story.

Best Documentary: March of the Penguins. I was rooting for Murderball (showing on A&E this month). Those damned ubiquitous penguins, always flaunting their formal wear...

Memoirs of a Geisha won cinematography, costume design and art direction, but wasn't nominated for any story or acting categories. Translation: it's a two-hour date with a pretty woman who bores the hell out of you.

Best Song: It's Hard Out Here To Be A Pimp by Three-6 Mafia from Hustle & Flow. Now that's how you celebrate a win. That should be a great after party. Guess Dolly Parton wasn't gangsta enough, maybe she needs lessons from Natalie Portman.

Jon Stewart as host:
Funny, good effort for his first time out. He hit a homerun, but he didn't bomb. He kept thing moving, as this Oscar's clocked quicker than usual at 3 and a half hours. Things didn't get overtly political, the attack-ads were funny, and towards the end he started making cracks like he was giving a voice to the viewers at home:

"Capote showed America that not all gay people are virile cowboys."

Stewart talked about the nominated Munich and Stephen Speilberg's 1993 Schindler's List: "I think I speak for all Jews when I say I can't wait to see what happens to us next."

Following the ump-teenth montage: "I can't wait for the upcoming montage of montages. Seriously, I think we're out of clips"

"You know what? I think it just got a little easier out here for a pimp."

"Martin Scorcese, 0 Oscars. Three-6 Mafia, 1 Oscar."

I would have liked a report from a Daily Show correspondant out in the audience or at the bar.

Show notes:

Opening with the recent Oscar hosts turning down the offer was funny, especially seeing Jon Stewart wake up with a game George Clooney. All across the world, millions of women wish they were the filling in that sandwich.

Seating Jack Nicholson next to Keira Knightley? That won't end well, and makes Keira's date (and probably her parents) very very nervous.

Gay subtext in Westerns montage? Priceless, and likely a 3rd Year Film Studies paper.

Why do the producers insist on using dance into the musical numbers. We couldn't just have Kathleen Bird York singing her song for "Crash", but we get a distracting dance troupe recreating key scenes through interpretive dance. Host at the Oscar party: "That dancer just put his hands between her legs! Were those dancers doing the molestation scene?" Yep.

The only reason I tolerate the animated Chicken Little characters presenting is it somehow involves Joan Cusack and Zach Braff. Why do they do this, to make sure the 6-year olds demographic is still tuning in?

Nothing significant in terms of fashion disasters. Although what the hell was on Charlize Theron's shoulder, a portable pillow?

artifacts pointed out the predominance of pale women wearing white or skin-toned gowns. So many translucent women, I think I could see through Nicole Kidman.

Was Sandra Bullock having any fun? She looked offended to be there up on stage.

Jessica Alba looked glamourous up there. Still won't get a statue though.

How happy did Jennifer Garner look up there, recovering from a near spill and still beaming. And yes, she was highlighting the "I've just had a baby" boobs.

Anyone else squirm a bit when Lauren Bacall struggled with the teleprompter?

Comedians make the best presenters: Ben Stiller and his visual effects body suit, Will Farrell and Steve Carrell in their make-up were all terrific. Lily Tomlin's rambling with Meryl Streep in an Altman-esque tribute to honorary Oscar winner Robert Altman was brilliantly funny and loopy.

It's worth noting how many winning films had prominent showings or premieres at the Toronto International Film Festival: Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Wallace & Gromit, Crash, Tsotsi (Best Foreign Film), Walk The Line.

And my closing quote of the night:

As I watched one of the female presenters (not Felicity Huffman) walk on screen: "Wow, she looks great in that dress, you can hardly see the tiny penis."

Menu shout out:

I'm stuffed from the terrific food provided by our Oscar hosts:

Pink & Frilly Sheppard's Pie: like Brokeback Mountain, pink and full of meat.

Black & White Cookies: for Good Night & Good Luck. We were going to just chain smoke and drink scotch, but the cookies won out.

Pink and White Velvet Cake: Like Capote, smooth and sophisticated.

Multi-Racial Dip: For Crash: Red Pepper & Walnut Dip, Spinach Dip (WASP-ish, made from Knorr soup mix), Black Olive Tapenade, and Guacamole.

Lox and bagels: for Munich, because we could find a good recipe for gifillte fish and Manny Chevitz.

Time for bed, same time next year everyone.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences

Live-blogging the Oscar telecast | Popwatch | Blog: Entertainment Weekly

azerbic - Antonia Zerbisias - Toronto Star Blog: Oscar and the Grouch

artifacts: Shallow (me) and Random (my family) observations : The Oscars

TheStar.com - Crash wins best picture

Egotastic! - 78th Annual Academy Awards Mega Picture Post

POPSUGAR - Oscar Coverage

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

To clarify, the Capote cake was a red velvet cake, or more specifically the "In Cold Blood" Red Velvet cake.

Red Velvet cake originated in New Orleans, just as Truman Capote was born in New Orleans.

I still think Brokeback Mountain should've won Best Picture.